Woo Hoo! Another chapter and it's bringing us closer to The Confrontation! I love the way you handled Shippo; he's such a brave little lad. Anything for his Kagome! Poor Kagome, being so sick all the time, but it's keeping Sesshoumaru off her back - literally. Yep, you got me totally involved in their lives. And the change in Sessh is welcome but surprising. He's still the bullying, selfish brute, but at least he can show her some compassion. He's still a jerk, though.
Now to the part where we work!
Mainly, he worried for his mate’s comfort.
As she finished vomiting up the small amount of tea and rice she’d been able to get down not even an hour before,
She was clothed in only a sleeping yukata, as he’d (Clothed is just a suggestion, the comma is to separate two dependent clauses.)
While Ami gathered up the bucket to empty and clean it out,
While Ami gathered up the bucket to empty and clean it out,
“And he’s getting it. Both of your scents are strong, as well as your auras.
He’d spoke truth to her; her scent and that of their pup[’s] was healthy and strong. (the phrase: that of their pup is possessive, that negates the need for 's.)
“Easy, my mate…
The steady vibration of Sesshoumaru’s chest against her smaller body, combined with the soft nips he was giving her mark, actually soothed Kagome. (parenthetical phrases should be set off by commas for clarity)
Indicating her hands on her stomach, Sesshoumaru explained,
Considering the way I claimed you, it is even more baffling.
“So, why haven’t you given me the Jewel yet?”
Arching a brow, Sesshoumaru asked,
If I was going to make a selfish wish, I’d wish myself home and away from you.”
but none of this matters since I am neither stupid nor selfish enough to make an impure wish.
Making his way back to the bed he gathered his breeder into his lap with her back to his chest and sought to comfort her.
As Sesshoumaru began to purr against her back,
Breathing deeply as he [said] advised, she ignored the feel (I suggest advised to bring a little more variety to the language.)
‘Come on, baby…settle down in there.
Settle for Mommy, my beautiful baby boy…
Mommy loves you so much, baby,
“D...did you feel that?” (Elipses are always 3 periods.)
‘Hear me, my pup…hear me
“Is all well, my Lord?”
After Ami [had] left Sesshoumaru reached for the cup of already prepared tea (The had is really not necessary, the sentence reads more smoothly without it.)
She was about to argue, but when her stomach gave a grumble, Kagome decided it was probably best to just go along with it for now. Besides, he’d already said once she’d eaten he would be leaving,
Across the lands Kagura was approaching Edo on her feather. (I would suggest putting an extra line before this sentence, it will help denote a change of scenery.)
She wasn’t happy [that] about all that she’d discovered yesterday, (In this sentence, [that] is in the wrong place.)
After Sesshoumaru and his entourage had arrived yesterday, she’d learned that, as the true Shikon Miko, Kagome
Sesshoumaru taking her for his mate would be the fact she couldn’t give him a pure blood inu heir.
She could give him a full demon child, but not pure inu, due to her being a wind demoness.(Adding child gives the sentence more clairity. Remember, your readers are like husbands, you have to tell them EVERYTHING! LOL.)
However, if he already had a pure inu son and something were to happen to his little human breeder, there would
She could still provide him with other powerful sons, (Adding with makes the sentence flow better.)
Setting down at the outskirts of the village, Kagura held her head high
and was no different than any other servant’s of the West,
Clicking her fan impatiently, she watched Inuyasha
“I have come with orders from my Lord.”
Eyes widening as he saw the Western Crest, Inuyasha laughed, “You work for Sesshoumaru now? Trading one bastard master for another, huh?”
Eyes narrowing at his vulgar language, Kagura hissed, “I’d like to see you say that to his face. All know that Sesshoumaru could kill you at any time, filthy half breed.”
“You wanna go! Bring it on, bitch!”
Forcing herself not to sneer at the mention of the girl, Kagura nodded her head.
Taking Sango’s hand, they left without saying a word to Inuyasha or Kikyo.
Crossing his arms over his chest Inuyasha growled, “Why do you wanna know?”
Unimpressed with his protective display, Kagura replied,
Thoroughly bored by now, since all the important information had been obtained, Kikyo turned from the Wind Witch
Her powers were greatly diminished, of course, but even she
‘I am the rightful guardian, after all.
It is not a selfish wish, as I will be using the powers
A knot had [been forming] had formed in his stomach ever since he’d abandoned Kagome to Sesshoumaru, and it had been growing by the day. (If the knot is growing, then surely it is fully formed. Just saying.)
Outside of their mating each night, he took no enjoyment from being bound to her.
Out by the God Tree, Kagura landed on the ground and replaced her feather in her hair. The majority of the children screamed and ran when they saw her, while Shippo moved to stand
“What are you doing here, Kagura?”
“I’m going to see Kagome?”
What are we standing around here for?”
“Well, let’s get going.
Kagura bowed and left, leaving only Jaken and Shippo in the office with Sesshoumaru.
“Do you know why you are here, kit?”
“Indeed. Tell me, kit, is it your wish to be raised by her as her adoptive son?”
“Uh...y...yes sir.”
“Well, in order to do so you will have to take up position as my ward and remain here permanently. You will be allowed the same luxuries I provide my ward, Rin,
Clearly shocked, Shippo gasped, “What?”
Knowing he needed to explain , since the child before him was young, but not stupid,
As she is the true Shikon Miko, she is capable of providing me full demon heirs, and, thus, I took her as my mate.
For now, if you intend to stay here with her indefinitely, I need your vow
Clenching his little fists at his sides, Shippo held his head high and said,
“If you fight me, you will die.”
“I know…but as long as I’m dying for her, it’s ok.”
Nodding his head, he finally said, “You are a brave kit.
Of course, as you have made it clear that Kagome is your mistress and her orders are your law, I will have
but your loyalty and bravery impress[es] me.
I will check on my mate and if she is awake from her nap, I will come to collect the boy to see his mother.”
“As you wish my lord…come, kit.”
He would make a fine playmate for Rin, and later his pups. Then one day he would serve as a worthy warrior of the West.
go to your room, kit, and I’ll send for you to see Kagome soon.”
After Shippo nodded at him and followed Jaken out of the study , Sesshoumaru
Nodding his head, Sesshoumaru entered his room and dismissed his mate’s handmaid. Taking a seat beside the futon, he watched his dozing mate
I do this for you, since you have pleased me with your care of our son.
You will not overexert yourself, and you will not get out of bed.
Shippo fought down his need to jump at her and bury himself in[to] her chest. Sesshoumaru had warned him to be careful with her, since she was breeding and getting sick a lot. Instead, he ran up to her and hopped up on the futon.
Setting her hands on her stomach, Kagome whispered, “I’m better now that you’re here…I’ve missed you so much, Shippo…so much.”
His own eyes filling with tears, Shippo held his little hands out and asked, “Can I touch?”
“Of course you can, silly…he’s
Biting her lip, Kagome said, “I know we never talked about it, Shippo,
Tears slipping down his cheeks, Shippo whispered, “I think of you as my mother too, Kagome. I didn’t want to say anything before, in case you didn’t
Laying his head down on her stomach to listen to his baby brother inside her, Shippo stated,
Unwilling to tell her kit how upset with her circumstances she was, Kagome said,
“Sesshoumaru asked me to swear allegiance to him…I said no. I said my allegiance is to you and your baby and if you asked me to fight him, I would.”
“Oh, Shippo, no! I don’t want you to fight Sesshoumaru!”
Shrugging, Shippo replied, “I will. If you ask me to hold him off so you can run, I will. I’d give my life for you, Kagome. Any time and any place.”
Stroking her kit’s cheek, Kagome whispered, “That means a lot to me, Shippo. It really does…but my fights are my own. I don’t ever want you to get hurt for me...and if Sesshoumaru thinks you’ll betray him, he’ll send you away, and I don’t think I could bear to be separated from you again.”
Shaking his head, Shippo replied, “He said I can stay, regardless. He said as long as I’m loyal to his son, that it’s enough. He said he’ll have me watched so I don’t help[] you escape, but that my loyalty to him isn’t necessary, as long as I’m loyal to his son.”
“And are you? Will you be ok with his son, knowing how he came to be? Will you resent him?”
Smiling up at his adoptive mother, Shippo answered, “It’s not his son, Kagome. It’s your son. This is your baby, and my loyalty will always be with the two of you…I’ll fight for you both.”
“Oh, Shippo,” Kagome whispered as she drew her kit in for a hug. “You don’t know what that means to me.”
Outside the room, Sesshoumaru smirked at the words he’d heard whispered between the two. He’d shielded his scent and aura from the two inside so he could listen to their conversation without them knowing. He was just as pleased with the kit as he was his mate. They were both worthy of the House of the West. Heading down the hall, he went to collect Ami so she could bring them their dinner. His mate needed sustenance and he would make sure she had it. She had a trying week ahead of her. He knew Inuyasha and Kikyo would be there within a few days, and it would be quite the reunion. ‘It will break Inuyasha to see his true love swollen with my seed. He will despair at the knowledge she is truly lost to him now and all his dreams are now mine…come to me, my brother. Come and see the fate you abandoned your true love to…come and see that she is MINE!’
GO SHIPPO!!!!!
REDWOLF (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
Sesshoumaru is a pain...a big pain! I hope Kagura gets whats coming to her. Great chapter!
maribel mota (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
oh my this chapter is reeeely good, just don't take a lot of time to update, i going to be waiting for next chapter, so see you soon bye.
Great chapter! A little happiness for Kagome after so much pain. I'm so glad that you wrote Shippo as being brave and standing up for Kagome against Sesshoumaru! And I just loved Shippo telling Sesshoumaru that he's not good enough for Kagome! How long will Sesshoumaru hold off on his desire to sleep with Kagome again? I hope her reprieve lasts a little longer. What will Shippo do the first time he hears or sees Sesshoumaru forcing Kagome?
I know that Kagome plans to keep her hatred of Sesshoumaru from Rin and any children he forces her to bear, but I wonder if that is possible? They may be able to keep Rin in the dark BUT their youkai pups will have superior senses like Sesshoumaru. Won't they be able to scent Kagome's emotions just as easily as Sesshoumaru?
Will we finally see the reunion of Kagome with the rest of the gang in the next chapter? I 'm curious if Kagome's feelings of anger and betrayal towards Inuyasha will soften any now that she knows Kikyo can never have children? I hope that she doesn't let that stop her from telling Inuyasha exactly what she thinks of him! I'm also curious to see if Kagura will try to help Kagome escape Sesshoumaru (for her own gain, of course) or if she'll wait until the first son is born and then try to kill Kagome? It would be hilarious if Kagura was the one to remove that awful collar and free Kagome's powers!
Yay Kagome got to see Shippo!! :D I can't wait for the next chapter, I wanna hear about Inuyasha's reaction when he sees Kagome!! Great job keep up the goo work!!! :D
autumngold (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
Wow. Am I the only one who feels bad for Inuyasha? Poor baby, he gets Kikyo back, but now he isn't happy with her. He wants Kagome back, the Kagome he gave to Sesshoumaru to rape and torture. Poor, poor Inuyasha. I thought I couldn't hate him anymore than I did, but you proved me wrong. What a selfish, inconsiderate moron. It's all about him, only now after the battle has he started worrying about Kagome. He gave her away, he has no right to be worried, the jerk. While I'm not fond of Sesshoumaru in your story, at least he is consistant. I'm so proud of Shippo! He is so strong to stand up to Sesshoumaru that way! What a brave son, I'm so glad that Kagome is going to have him near. I'm also, just a little, impressed with Sesshoumaru. He didn't lie to the kit about what he had done. Yes, I know that's because he doesn't see anything wrong with what he's done since Kagome is just a humnan, but at least he didn't lie.
Thank you for the update! This story is very amazing! Please post again soon!
Kanna37 (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
You know, as dark as it is, I have to say that Inuyasha deserves the hurt he's about to get - and I can't wait to read it.
Amber
mary (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
very intriguing story. i don't know why i didn't favorite this before. maybe because seshomaru was being such a stupir bastard. anyway, i liked how this is turning out they seem to be in character a lot, not like other stories. a lot of subtext, a lot of space for our imaginations to roam y'know?
katlady (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
... 0.o OMG Sesshoumaur is such ans @$$... but i am lvoeing this fic...i think i know were your going with this and I am looking foward to you next up date as well
Wow this is getting so intense! I really love the way your going with this. Please continue! I can't wait to see Inuyasha's expression.
Megan007 (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
OH hell yeah!! finaly I get to read it again, insead of waiting 2 weeks for anothe chapter!!! yay!!! LOL I must say I am so happy and proud of Shippo he trully is an amazing little kit!! I love him, I must say, that in the manga, Kagome wished for the Shikon to be removed form the world and yet it did, and yet she went back to her own time so why not it work this time? you would think of her beging smart and wish for it to be gone forever but then also she said "I also wish for me to return home" but she does not, I am happy that she cares for her son, but then again, she some times is a Fool! I have to say she is young like 15 or 16 so her anger should be more crazy and more understanding, because she is young and yet he she is still staying with Sesshomaru, I must say if she does not wish on the jewl to go home or for he and shippo to return to her, than she is a fool!indeed!!! there is so many things that a woman and mother and girl can take before she goes completly mad!!! and I know that no woman in the world is that understanding!!.
I am so happy that you updated I am. and I can't wait to read more, I though that we would see Inuyasha's reaction when he sees Kagome in this chapter but I am happy that Shippo came first!! I love it. I was like wondering why Sesshomaru was beging very understanding and nice and was out of the blue and then I read, "if you don't drink you will be punished" and then I though there he is LOL heehehhe.
I must say, you said that this story get worse before it gets any better, I am wondering how it might be, because it seems that Sesshomaru heart is starting to melt but then again you are very capable on doing a 180 on us arn't you LOL heheheh.
i can't wait to read more and hope you update soon!!!.
Hugs
Megan. I am not sure if you know this but this is Hattaru. LOL.
Hugs again
-_~
mariad (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
WOOT WOOT!! Finally, Kagome has someone she trully trust by her side..
Great chapter mate..!! Can't wait for Inuyasha's arrival!!
great chapter and it look like there are more great thing to come
Katrina (Chapter 20) - Mon 11 Jan 2010
Well, at least Kagura knows but didn't know what horrbile things he's done to Kagome. I hope Kagura will help her and realize that Sesshomaru is a cold heart abusing bastard and find someone us who is her soulmate. I would really hate to see Kagura as the villian and as for Kikyou (not that I hate her since she not really a bad person. There been a lot of fanfic making her into a vilian-slut-horror) once Sesshomaru reveals that she can't have children it be be a big slap to the face and I can't wait to see her reaction.
Hopeful when Kagome son is a bit older (maybe around 10 yrs.) which I'm sure if there will be still at the palance in time skp. Somehow turth is always reveal and once that happens that kid is going to hate his father very much to the core. The only people who he will love and care about are his mother, step bother shippo, and rin. I bet he'll will plan to get revenge against his father once he grown up and maybe become sort of a villian but in truth I don't know if that will happen in your fanfic.
But if that were to happen (not saying it would) I think it would be a huge shock to Sesshomaru and even the palance was burned to the ground among his servants and guards were killed. (well expect for Rin and the some people who were nice to his mother) Anyway, love the chapter and keep up the good work. I still feel very sad for her of what he did to her which was very wrong. I wish I could kick his ass.
Sierra (Chapter 19) - Sun 10 Jan 2010
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ADD A NEW CHAPTER SOON I LUV THIS STORY!
Simply addicting. Love the pace. Never thought I would say this but I really don't like Sesshoumaru. Sadly, it's undeniable that he was not acting out of character - considering how he was brought up. I'm still anticipating the day when Kagome is free from the control freak and what his reactions will be! ha! See whose a pet now! And Inu Yasha too; I can't wait to see his reaction when he sees Kagome drenched in Sess scent and all fat n preggo. Most of all, I hope Kagome will get some real training, free herself from that collar, and start kicking some axx (esp coughsesshoumaruhcough). Then Sess will go all psyco when he realizes he can't get to Kagome.
Kagome seems to have so much potential and power yet they are all chained. Poor Kagome....
As for Kagura, it'll be entertaining to see her pitiful attempts to dethrone Kagome as Sesshoumaru's mate. lol Blatant failure. Not to mention how obsessed n protectiveSess is with Kagome. And now the elite guards too.
claire (Chapter 19) - Fri 08 Jan 2010
ahhh!! please update soon im so in love with your story!!!
Miss.Undo (Chapter 19) - Thu 07 Jan 2010
well i love the story... im still waiting for sesshomaru to get his! i feel bad for kagome tho poor miko suffering with that ass! please update soon i cant wait to see what happens next! ("
Awesome chapter! YAY!!!! :) I can't wait to read what happens next! I really what to read about Inuyasha's reaction to all this! PLEASE UPDATE AS SOON AS YOU CAN!
~MoonFlower77
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