Beautifully done. I love this story, and the emotions are stories within the story. Absolutely heartfelt chapter. I love the character portrayals, the POV's are done so well because they remind me of all the possibilities of that writing technique. Like, because Kagone and Sesshomaru are both flawed characters (like everyone else) thier prespective is never the whole truth, not even when it is concerning themselves which is a stunning concept that I think you're exploring. Bravo!

Love all the feels! Great chapter, I look forward to the next one!

You successfully made my chest heaved and tears streaming down from my eyes......and my nose.....

With the proggess of the story, you made me thorn.. Wanting to know their proggress in the next chapter but at the same time not wanting to see the more hopeless Kagome will toward her new budding feeling for Sesshoumaru... Oh noooo....

But of course, like what I did with 'Blood Stained', I will break the wall, read it, shed tears for it, plus review it, 'cause I love your story too much to let it unread...

Another chapter!!! *happy dance

And you hit the mark, Maddie-san! CHILDREN.. I was wondering last night, when will you write their personal interest with children? And now, I got the answer!

Poor Kagome... Deciding not to have children is a hellish one for a woman...

Yay I feel like this had a little bit of progress for them both, but more so for Kags. And I'm sorry to hear you are going/ have gone through that. I myself had but a brief glance of it in my own life and felt so ashamed of myself for feeling it. This of course is not to say that it is a matter to feel ashamed for; I really don't mean it that way. It was just my own personal feeling towards it regarding myself. I wont divulge my personal matters and bore you, but I wanted to say that I can understand the feeling. stay strong, Maddie-San, you are an incredibly gifted and good person. I can just tell from when we talked via messages (: 

You were the author to inspire me to write better. You inspired me to take up fanfiction again after such a very long absence. And I will never forget the unexplainable joy I felt when you reviewed my drabbles for the DDN that was held in your honor. I think I ever posted on facebook saying "that moment when your role model and inspiration comments positively on your work <3" I remember thinking "wow, maybe I'm doing something right!"

i just wanted to tell you that; just so you know how much I respect you. <3

much love,

MissKatt

This was indeed a veryyy long chapter... And yet, it was to small! xD 

Your writing is addictive! Really! ^^ 

Thanks for the update! <3 

You know Maddie-san? My 'obsession' with this story even gave me a dream last night. The dream feels so vivid that I could remember it quite clearly.

In my dream, Kagome seems to be almost completely recovered. Her physical conditions looked like the usual Kagome, even more mature, but still has a little difficult to walk around. When she was climbing down the apartment's stairs, she was nearly fell and some guys rescue her (in my dream his name is Amuro, and he looks like Amuro in the Detective Conan. I don't know, maybe because I and my friend discuss some of Detective Conan story at the other day, so he kinds of mixed up...). This Amuro guy, tends to be the new neighbour of Sesshoumaru n Kagome, and because (of course) he touch Kagome when he rescue her, after he came home from work, Sesshoumaru could smell another man on her, and kind of snap his last control of his body, and 'ravage' her all night long for the first time. When he came to his senses in the morning, he kinda horrified and blamed Kagome for all of his action. He didn't say anything first to the still tired and sore-all-over Kagome, just stare coldly and only said,"Get. Out.". At first Kagome felt broken, sad, and betrayed, but then nothing at all, like something snap or completely removed inside. Sesshoumaru felt like something miss, and the blank look Kagome gave to him as her limply went out of his room, made him more supicious. He didn't realize, the moment he said to Kagome to get out, he made their bond as mate broken, as well as Kagome's heart. In the middle of their love-making, Kagome was already came to terms that even she didn't love Sesshoumaru yet, she cared for him deeply, and accepted his advance at her because it was always his right, from the moment she accepted his proposal to mate him.

one day after that, Sesshoumaru has a week out-of-town work related bussiness. Because the tension between them, Sesshoumaru didn't say anything to her, just made some notes that unfortunatelly, wasn't Kagome read. Kagome who felt frozen inside, made assumption that the 'Get out' Sesshoumaru gave her meant her to get out from his life. After 3 days left alone in the apartment with no news from her husband, she thought that he was angry and disgusted with her, and with tears streaming out of blank looks eyes, she get out of his apartment, made some arrangement with her mother to sent her to the rural place that has some relative to her to live there for some time. Without knowing that she already carrying Sesshoumaru's heirs within her womb, she left the town.

After finished a week-became-two-weeks bussiness, Sesshoumaru came home to found his home pitch black, no Kagome and her stuff, also the notes he left still stuck at the place he left it, looked like has never been read. He became aggravated and came to Higurashi shrine, to found that Kagome has already left. Miyu didn't tell tale where when or how she left, but adviced him to take some time, because if they meant to be together, they will back together.

After some days without Kagome, there was no sign that his body 'miss' her that made Sesshoumaru more supicious. He tried to felt their bond but felt nothing, as if there was nothing to begin with. But he tried to settle down, keep thinking that Kagome left him because she felt horrified, frightened, and disgusted with his actions. After some weeks, he became restless, his body felt nothing, their bonds felt nothing, but he felt some heaviness in his chest. He missed her. Ther first time he denied it, but after some time, the heaviness didn't go away. So he tried to search Kagome time to time between his work times. But none. No Kagome, and his chest felt heavier and heavier day by day...

In the rural place, after some times, Kagome realize that she was pregnant. At first she wanted to told Sesshoumaru, but she remember their conversation about hanyou in this time, she became afraid he would't accept it or worse asked her to terminated it. She didn't know that the baby (later she knew that there were babies) need their father's youki. It could be transfered just from the closeness of their father's youki. But the best method was to transfer it from the sexual actions. Because of the lack of Sesshoumaru's youki, 2 of 5 babies born stillbirth. At labour time, the babies called to their father nad because ot that, and Kagome's longingness of Sesshoumaru' presence in the birthchamber, made the mating bonds revived, and Sesshoumaru could felt the pain Kagome's felt at birthing until it made him unconscious.

Kagome, who felt uncoscious after she heard two of her babies didn't make it, met Sesshoumaru's father in what it's like her dreams, and he summoned Tensaiga to save his grandsons life. At the same time, Sesshoumaru regained consciousness and found his sword glowed before little by little dissapearing. The babies alive, the first-born, a boy, looks so much like his father. The second and third-born, identical twin girls, have wavy silver hair and golden-colored eyes, but with the looks look like Kagome. The fourth and fifth-born the suppose-to-be-dead babies, identical twin boys, look like their grandfather (and inuyasha of course) but with black straight hair.

After the birth, Miyu told Kagome to came back to the shrine, she couldn't raise 5 children alone. After they back to the shrine, Sesshoumaru felt 5 pulls toward him and supiciously followed the pulls. He couldn't believe what he see there. He asked for Kagome, to gave him some tale, but she refused him at first. After some times with a lot of effort, Kagome agreed to met him. She didn't has a heart to denied her babies longing for their father. After their talked, Sesshoumaru felt on his knees, pleaded her fogiveness. After their reunion, Sesshoumaru came to live at the shrine, much to Kagome's grandfather charging....

And... I woke up with my last memories were Kagome's grandfather finally thrown some ofudas and salt at Sesshoumaru... Aaaaah...! Why must I wake up?? When it still didn't clear what they felt toward each others.... Huks... But what a dream I have, and what a long review I made.... Hahahaha.... But I couldn't wait to write and I absolutely love to share it with you, Maddie-san!

I hope you still tolerate me after this... XD

Sad, keep it coming.

How God Created Mother

God took the fragrance of a flower,
The majesty of a tree,
The gentleness of a morning a dew
The calm of a quiet sea,
The beauty of a twilight hour
The soul of a starry night
The laughter of the rippling brook,
The grace of a bird in flight,
Then God fashioned from these things
A creation like no other,
And when His masterpiece was through,
He called it simply...MOTHER.

Happy Mother's Day!

Why did I keep writing 'feels' as 'fells'?

Aah, maybe because I'm so enchanted and enamored with your story, so I became impatient to write reviews until I misspeling my word... My grammar seems bad too.. Sorry for the inconvinience..

Ah, I think I'm gonna cross-check my review earlier. Judging from how he imidiately come after Kagome take his ' to her mouth...., I keep thinking at their first time he might come right after he put 'it' into Kagome... xD

Although after that, he fells shame and unsatisfied with himself and tries again again and again until he fells satisfied enough, keep on knotting and emptying inside Kagome, without realize he maybe already made his juniors (with 's') inside... Khukhukhukhukhu...

Ooh...how dirty I am... I blame you, Maddie-san, for keep me thingking such things because your awesome smutty stories!

My chest felt heavy and tears slowly flowed everytime I read and read again Kagome's though about how she meant nothing for Sesshoumaru...

How heart-wrecking.. ):'(

I keep thingking how about the progress in the next chapter..

How if Kagome get out of her shell, become happier, make some friends, go out, until Sesshoumaru thinks she don't 'need' him anymore. How he develops insecurity from that thinks, wanna keep her lock inside their small apartement and make her his, heart, body and soul, but he don't wanna to show it because of his refuse to change...

Ah, my though made me wanna stalking you, Maddie-san! Just to give me...eeerr us more chapter soon..hohoho...

Keep a good work!

Woow... I practically read the new chapter with very big-round-eyes and heart-thumping excitement... Very well done, Maddie-san!

I had almost the same situation as Kagome previously, well not very almost. But not with my husband rather than my parents. My mother always dictated me to be a bright student, and well there I am, I even got the best University in my country. But, because of that only with one failure, my world come crumble down. I become a person who had a very low self-esteem because I felt that I couldn't please and gave a pride to my mother. It haunted me before I know. I kept my facade, always be a cheerful and friendly person my friend's had known. But when I realize, I already withdrawing from the world, just sit in front of my laptop, didn't go to University, went outside just to buy a drink or something to eat, even I became afraid to my friends, afraid they would pitied me or upset with me because my failure. I became what the Japanese called 'hikikkomori'. That condition continue for 3 semester, before I could stand on my own again thanks to my bestfriend and my lecturer.

I really hope that Kagome will soon come to her own, and become the brand new Kagome!

I bet the 'real deal' between them will be super explosive that you'll get 'The First Best Lemon' again...hehehe...

Wish you all the best!

Thank you SO much for the dedication, and the shout out! I'm really glad you liked the art, because I am really enjoying this story!

About 1/3 of the way through I decided I HAD to review while I read. SO, it it goes:

Yeah Kags! Get in that room. It is true he takes and she bears the same urges without compliant. He always thinks about what he can do for her or how she is affecting him, but NEVER what her thoughts are on the matter. I can see that conflict rising, and I like it.

Well, that escalated quickly. I love it ;]

OH! OOHH! You naughty author, you! Poor Sess, though lol. Having a little troiuble sleeping, are we? You can tell he is fighting himself for the sake of fighting himself. He has undergone so much change in his life already that it is understandable he would combat against losing anymore of who he is.

Oh man... HER dream. That is probably how she feels all day; like a burden, a mistake, a duty that her saviour laments taking on. She is getting healthier, stronger, and more secure, but this situation has to be KILLING her self-esteem, especially because he has been her rock throughout the whole thing.

Okay... the way you are writing about her awareness of depression is pretty, well, dead on from personal experience. It is something you don't even realize is happening to you, because it feels like it has ALWAYS been happening to you. Nothing is wrong, this is just the way things are; the way I am. Of course I'm sad, I have every reason to be, until, you are stuck in the routine and your mood doesn't know how to break out of it. Things might have changed around you, but the way you feel hasn't, and that makes it worse. It seems too farfetched, and at the same time too common, for it to be happening to you. Yes, you do laugh and smile, so these things reassure you. Depressed people just mope all the time, right? WRONG. I love her slow awakening to the fact that cancer is not the only thing she needs to survive, and it is a battle Sesshoumaru cannot jump start for her.

Ugh... the 'miserable human being', the 'shadow', all of that... Yeah. What makes it all the more tragic is that it DOES work.

Yay. YAY!! In the end, she said YES! Good for you, Kagome! That is the first sign that the strong person you once were is not lost.

Loved the chapter, obviously. The sexual tension is always so nice, and the insight into Kagome's self-awareness that cancer was not her only condition is a realistic viewpoint. I really like the way their relationship is forcablly stagnant, for the time being, but the story moves forward as KAGOME moves forward. She has another demon to face, and it is the person she had to become in defense of dying from cancer.

Looking forward to the next update ;]

What a great chapter. Not only do you  give insights into Sesshoumaru's predicament, but you begin to see the complexity of Kogome's situation. It's wonderful that you have her taking charge of depression and self-esteem issues. It's too bad that Sesshoumaru mentally keeps blaming Kagome-- he's a "silent" whiny little brat. He's like a pre-pubescent teen in a hurry to wash his sheets before mommy sees what he's done in the night:-)

I love it whenever any dokuga story makes sesshy horny yet he never gets his fulfilment.heheeinuyasha

That was not what I exepected xD Good, but really not what I had in mind xD ^^ 

Thanks for the update! <3

This story is really interesting and different. I hope for an update soon:)

Man I love this story.  It's so sad but it keeps pulling me in.  I just keep wanting her to get better and for him to be a bit more understanding. But I understand that with these chracters things are complicated.  I can't wait till the next chapter  ^.^

Thanks for writing! Hope you update soon! Jaa, mata!

Gah! Love love love this fic soooooo much!