So we've had some posts lately on advice for writing. It has been good but for a specific fanfiction like this I think some more targeted discussion might be worthwhile. This subjective and my opinions are only that.

Get rid of Naraku and the Jewel-As a plot device this is pretty predictable. Whether it is in universe or AU, the basic plotline is "Naraku is searching for the Jewel, Kagome has it, Sesshoumaru protects her as a consequence of reason X, they possibly butt heads..." I think we know how it goes from there. The jewel may have some role but making it of primary importance is pretty played out. Naraku as a villain really has limited value because in these situations it is possible to predict what he will do thus the story becomes less compelling.

Original Villains-To replace Naraku, make a villain that is not cartoonishly evil; they need to be realistic. By this I mean, don't have them call themselves "The Dark Lord of Destruction, Over Lord of Evil" or something equally pretentious. Villains struck from Skeletor's mould are suitable for Saturday morning cartoons but not much else. In the real world, a person doesn't say "I'm evil for the sake of being evil," a person who serves the role of an antagonist usually has a warped world view or simple disregard for anyone else. I think great villains are basically people similar to Hannibal Lector; capable of acting rationally and being insanely violent.

Proof read-this is pretty obvious but I feel there is an insult directed at the readers by authors who don't proofread. For someone not writing in their own language I can be more forgiving, sometimes it is possible to guess if that is the case by their use of verbs which can be damned confusing for non-English speakers(it must be a nightmare trying to make sense of verbs whose spelling changes like give, gave, given. Stupid English language and its nonsensical structure.) Anyway, other times you can clearly tell a person didn't both to proof read; they just hammered something out and expect praise. If an author isn't going to respect readers or the craft of writing enough to take the time to produce something isn't filled with spelling and grammar errors or plot holes the size of Texas why should their work receive respect? That is not the same as saying a work should be error free but one can clearly tell the difference between someone who proofreads and someone who doesn't.

Sesshoumaru can't be God- In order for any story to have a plotline of actual substance, Sesshoumaru has to have limits and can't just swat threats aside. The struggle of a protagonist only has meaning in the perseverance against an antagonist that is capable of over overpowering/overwhelming/killing the protagonist. If a protagonist is God-like, his struggles, if they may be called such, are meaningless.

Kagome can't be God-Corollary to the above, and just as stated above, a nearly invincible character that has all the cards in their favor and pulls off stunts that are like rip offs of a Michael Bay film is not 1) not believable and 2) difficult to believe are in any actual threatening situation.

Be realistic-This is difficult to describe but if characters are politically connected a writer who imagines characters can accomplish anything they want through political influence doesn't understand politics or the real world. President Obama may well be extremely influential but even he has limits. All office holders/businessmen have limits and this basically goes along with the Can't be God Like rule. Think about where the limits will be so that characters actually have to struggle to achieve something.

Be relevant-There was a scifi story once that involved an astronaut trying to convince blue robots and orange robots to stop warring and fighting with each other as they were both functionally the same. The story was particularly meaningful as the astronaut, when he removed his helmet, was revealed to be black. Similarly, it has been argued that Inuyasha's story is an allegory to racism due to his heritage. Focusing on themes relevant to the world we live in I think makes for a more compelling story. The world has a lot in it to consider, so many forces have shaped us all and ignoring them seems like an opportunity wasted.

Characters grossly out of alignment-This may be somewhat touchy but I usually see this with Inuyasha/Kikyou bashing. It applies to other characters as well though. When a story has to rely on throwing characterization completely out the window in order to force an outcome the story automatically takes a hit to believability. Some flexibility is possible but believability can only go so far. If it is necessary to rely on heavy handed tactics to make a plot work then there is something wrong with the plot. This will probably be one of the most subjective aspects but there are times when reading a story is a jarring experiences because the author clearly hates a character and wants to have everyone hate them as well.

Repetitive/Predictable plot devices-Inuyasha and Kikyou in a clearing and Kagome stumbles upon them so on and so forth. Not sure how often this has been used but it has been used a lot. Such contrivances need to be cast aside as they offer nothing but a dearth of originality.

Irrelevant sounds-sometimes people feel that every vocalization needs to be expressed in writing. So if a character grunts the author will write "hrmmm." Once in a while writing a vocalization might work but for the most part just writing "character x grunted his disapproval" or "character x roared defiance" is closer to standard writing conventions. I can't think of a well regarded author who routinely has characters every vocalization written out.

Reviews-When I give reviews, I try to make them substantive. Simply writing something equivalent to "good job" is lacking in meaning. Speaking of which, I need to finish some stories and give some reviews.

Janglish sentences-Only my opinion but the audience is generally aware the characters are speaking (in this case) in Japanese and what is being read is translated for sake of the audience. Thus characters switching back and forth between English and Japanese only illustrates that the characters somehow know both English and Japanese and for unclear reasons are, at times and based on unknown cues, using one and then the other. As a basis for exceptions, certain words can't be translated without being extremely awkward like youkai which rather than mistranslating as demon I leave as youkai. In these instances leaving it untranslated is arguably better than possibly fostering a misunderstanding of the character's nature through using a mistranslation.

Know when to cut out stuff-not every action needs to be described. Unless something meaningful happens in a car ride there is no particular reason to go into detail about going from one location to the other. Just skip past it to their arrival wherever.

Read a lot-To write well, you need to read a lot. There is not a whole lot else to be said here. Good writers don't just come into being, they study the works of authors and consider what makes their writing so good.

An interesting post that raises several points.

I do agree on Proof-Reading as it is simply good practice regardless of what you're writing. You could be doing fanfiction, original work, OR reports for work or school. To proofread shows that you care about your work and the basic premis of correcting mistakes, and or making improvements. Ideally this should be done regularly as you work through a piece of work, you re-read and correct as neccessary, until you've finished overall, than you re-read again, and correct or improve said work.

I proof-read, others do not, some work through a Beta. We each in the end can choose to do all three or none at all. This will entirely depend on the author, although I will always remain a firm advocate of proof-reading firsthand. Some authors might not think that your readers 'notice' things like this.

Believe me they do... oh yes they do.

I think the Sesshy/Kagome 'God' revelation is likely more to portray either character as an unrealistic Mary-Sue, which happens intentionally or unintentionally. This can also occur with original characters that can literally change the fabric of reality in the Inuyasha universe. It can also be appropriate depending on the genre of the ficlet and its plot, otherwise it might come across as another cliche, such as Sesshy or Kagome falling head over heels for a 'God-like' original character.

It happens in all fandoms, sometimes quite amusingly.

I think realism in fanfiction of any fandom is at the author's discretion. We would not have so many interesting stories if we did not to some extent suspend sense and believe something unbelievable. How else would we have classics like Techno-Elfie's: Hope is the thing with Feathers where Kagome becomes a goddess, or Forthright's wonderfully entertaining 'Lord Charming', where Sesshy is concerned by his lack of masculine attractiveness to female Inuyoukai.

Reality really depends on when the story is set, and its background, plus to how 'indepth' the author wishes their audience to go into the story itself. This will also depend on the author's familiarity with Japan, its culture, history, and customs too.

I personally tend to gloss over issues like this in my ficlets set in the Feudal Era as I have no insider knowledge about Japanese culture outside of watching Anime. All of what I write about how Kagome is a modern girl thrown into the past focuses on things that I can understand and interpret, as in her wardrobe, i.e. the school uniform, or her tendency to be incredibly naive, or caring and helpful to her friends.
I focus on her as a character and not on her cultural links, since I lack knowledge about them. Other authors are more successful here than I.

Kudos to them.

I believe that relevancy of a ficlet is again at the discretion of the author themselves. They might write simply for entertainment and not to make a world-shaking revelation, although some authors have explored the sensitivity behind Inuyasha's status as a hanyou in human and youkai society before too. Quite well I might add. The relevancy of such things to us, now, in the real world will depend again on the author, the scope of their ficlet, and the plotline, something a reader has no control over... unless they write a story themselves. Food for thought.

Predictability is likely in all fandoms and all fanfictions based on said fandoms as plotlines, plot devices, and storylines are reused over and over again. It can be said that nothing we write is original anymore as we constantly reuse each others ideas in a new way (or what we hope is a new way). I have read some ficlets that take a common idea, reuse it, and give it another spin. It does make for an interesting read, especially if said idea is expressed in an interesting and entertaining manner.

Characters being out of alignment could be interpreted in any way, shape, or form. You could have Miroku becoming Naraku's minion like Kohaku, thus his 'alignment' changes from being on the Good-Side to going over to the Dark-Side, not unlike Anakin Skywalker working for the Sith. You could also change how a character reacts and or interacts with other characters, this being a phenomenon known as being OOC or 'Out of Character'.

This is again at the author's discretion. If they choose for example to have Miroku morph from being uber-flirty to uber-polite because he was suddenly on the receiving end of a matronly glare from Sango's long-lost and very conservative Aunt, than his OOCness is self-explanatory.

It really depends on how this is handled in a ficlet. There may be an explanation for characters acting 'out of alignment' or not. It's whether or not for the reader that it makes logical sense. Fanfiction isn't always plausible. It is after-all fanfiction, a medium through which we can express such 'OOC' ideas.

I review when I want too, or I do not. I do try to make my reviews helpful, usually in the context of giving constructive criticism. I seldom review ficlets that have a tonne of reviews already. Others have already said what I want to say, so squeeing nonsensically in the corner, really is pointless when several hundred other reviewers are doing it for me.

The vocalisations of characters can be useful or not when expressed in writing. For example some authors have Sesshy 'Hnn' when he is being particularly arrogant or unhelpful, a sure sign of his arrogant nature. Vocalisations can also be appropriate if Sesshy is morphing into his canine form and barking at you. He's a giant fluffy white dog. He can growl and bark and whine, but not much else. Vocalisation may be neccessary too if characters are arguing so Inuyasha might roar, snarl, or snap and growl at Kagome for being well herself.

It can go overboard but again this is at the author's discretion. Some will overuse it some will not.

Janglish in Inuyasha ficlets I think is inevitable. It is a fandom based on Japanese culture. I tend to use for example the words 'youkai, hanyou' and a few others like 'kitsune' too, otherwise I would substitute the relevant english word for it. So Shippo usually becomes a 'Fox' youkai rather than a 'Kitsune', while Sesshy and Inuyasha stay appropriately as Inuyoukai. I'm not too familiar on the proper japanese references for types of kimono or hakama so I usually just write 'robes' or 'pants' while trying to reference 'silk' as being the material from which said garments are made, or mentioning the often richly coloured/embroidery on said fabrics.

Other authors do these garments justice. I lack perspective. Each will write based on their knowledge and experience. Again this is at the author's discretion.

Alot of what has been pointed out is relevant but in the end the author of the ficlet will decide how indepth or far-fetched the plotlines of their ficlets will become. We can wax lyrical about it as readers forever, but that is why we read fanfiction. We want to be entertained, enthralled, or to be prompted to feel emotions as portrayed by the characters with whom we share affinities.

Inuyasha's friendship with Kagome might give us warm fuzzies.

Kagome's potential romance with Sesshoumaru might make us tingle with anticipation.

Kagome's mothering of Shippo might make us laugh when she tries to be a maternal figure at 15 years old.

Rin's quiet adoration of Sesshoumaru-sama might make us smile too.

Fanfiction to some extent cannot be taken too seriously.

My advice is to enjoy it as a creative medium to express ideas, or, read fanfiction to be entertained.

Fanfiction is what is it.

~ Pyre

Pyreite wrote:

Janglish in Inuyasha ficlets I think is inevitable. It is a fandom based on Japanese culture. I tend to use for example the words 'youkai, hanyou' and a few others like 'kitsune' too, otherwise I would substitute the relevant english word for it. So Shippo usually becomes a 'Fox' youkai rather than a 'Kitsune', while Sesshy and Inuyasha stay appropriately as Inuyoukai. I'm not too familiar on the proper japanese references for types of kimono or hakama so I usually just write 'robes' or 'pants' while trying to reference 'silk' as being the material from which said garments are made, or mentioning the often richly coloured/embroidery on said fabrics.



That's not exactly what I interpreted SonofZhon's comment to mean. I think it's about how the characters themselves will suddenly start "speaking" in Japanese, where whole phrases or sentences are in Japanese, and there usually is no reason for it. When the characters are Japanese and it is understood that they are supposed to be speaking it the whole time, there is no purpose for switching back and forth. Personally, I find it distracting. The situation would be different if the story has the characters in a different setting where they would not be speaking Japanese throughout the story.

I don't really consider using Japanese words here and there to be an issue when there is not an exact English translation for it. There are single words in every language that do not translate well into another.

That's not exactly what I interpreted SonofZhon's comment to mean. I think it's about how the characters themselves will suddenly start "speaking" in Japanese, where whole phrases or sentences are in Japanese, and there usually is no reason for it.

Bingo.

Fair point.

I do agree, that it is distracting, even if the author provides translations.

Again however the use of this device too is at the author's discretion.

Some authors will use it, some will not.

I wish I had an ounce of understanding of the Japanese language. Sadly I do not, while others will. Kudos to them.

~ Pyre

Again however the use of this device too is at the author's discretion.

Whether it is their discretion is not disputed; just that an author's writing would be improved without it.

SonofZhon wrote:
Again however the use of this device too is at the author's discretion.

Whether it is their discretion is not disputed; just that an author's writing would be improved without it.

You have stated that the use of japanese phrases in dialouge in ficlets is distracting but not how it can be distracting for the reader.

I many times in Inuyasha, and other fandoms have been distracted by authors using non-english phrases in dialouge and then providing a translation either in author's notes, a glossary, or in a format like this:

"Non-english phrase", (english translation).

The last one I found the most distracting in the Lord of the Rings and Silmarilion fanfictions, where author's used Quenya or Sindarin phrases for elven characters, and then provided the relevant english translation in parentheses right after the dialouge sentence.

The glossary isn't so bad as all of the Non-English references are usually paired with the relevant English translation. The Author's notes at the end or beginning of a chapter isn't so bad either, though you are forced to scroll up or down in search of the Notes section to read the relevant English translation. Both distracting and time-consuming.

Perhaps an author's writing could be improved without switching between Japanese and English in dialouge between characters. It would depend on the ficlet. I do agree that it is distracting if the language switching is random when characters are conversing with one another. I lose focus immediately as my brains auto-searches for a relevant english translation of the japanese sentence or phrase. Googling helps but it is time-consuming.

In the light of my own arguments as listed above I can agree that an author's writing would be easier to read without having characters switching between Japanese and English languages in a conversation.

Would it be improved?

Perhaps the ficlet would be more readable, yes, but an improvement on plot, the storyline, characterisations, continuities and so forth, I could only make a judgement after reading the ficlet as a whole rather than in part.

I thank you for clarifying this issue CritterWhisper. I had not initially properly read the 'Janglish' section of SonofZhon's posting. I thought only of Japanese terms used in fanfiction, not the language switching between Japanese and English. I apologise for 'skipping' over that part.

For myself I suppose it is how the author presents the switch in languages in terms of the format of their ficlets. Do they pop it in a glossary, an Author's Note, or hurl it in the content of the writing?

I do not have a definitive answer. I do know that many authors of various fandoms use all three solutions in some way, shape, or form. I suppose in the end it is a point of choice. Perhaps if someone could invent a program that auto-parses a section of text for Non-English phrases and it would automatically translate the passage into English for me, I would be overjoyed.

Until then I suppose that I will have to stick with Googling.

~ Pyre

You have stated that the use of japanese phrases in dialouge in ficlets is distracting but not how it can be distracting for the reader.

I actually didn't state that it was distracting. Both you and Critter stated that.

Would it be improved?

We simply have a disagreement based on reasons stated earlier.