Landfall by Aiwendil

Landfall

Intro Notes: This takes place after Moonstruck, so if you haven't read that, I suggest you do. Mostly for the people who were unsatisfied with the ending. It is a one shot, which may be good or bad, depending on how you look at it. Anyway, after a long delay, here it is:

Landfall

Kagome still felt dirty.

The excitement had ended hours ago, melding into a too-quiet evening. Her mind was still buzzing, and she couldn't remember being this unsettled after a battle.

There wasn't really any reason for her anxiety, an objective observer might claim. She had come out of it none the worse for wear-- thanks to him. A dark bruise and a shallow series of scrapes up her thigh were her only fading souvenirs.

It didn't matter how many times Naraku came after them. It seemed that whatever gains they made, they always lost more. Perhaps that was the most disconcerting thing about that afternoon. She had no idea what to make of the outcome.

They had retreated back to the familiar shelter of Kaede's home after the ambush, herself holding tightly to Inuyasha's wrist to make sure that he came with them. "Not today!" she had whispered urgently into his ear, again and again. She had squeezed her eyes closed tightly at the feeling of the drying blood on his sleeve, then relaxed as his other dark-speckled hand closed around her wrist in response. It was fortunate that Inuyasha had allowed himself to be dragged back, for more reasons than one.

It was a strange victory, and she supposed Inuyasha had been more disturbed about it than she had. Even while she tended his wounds, which were thankfully minor, he growled and flexed like a dog on a leash. He ranted at Miroku and Sango, and at her while she wrapped him in clean bandages. At the time she had simply sighed and subtly held him back. Well experienced with Inuyasha's moods, she recognized the tension for what it was.

He had failed to protect her. Or at least that's what he thought. She acknowledged that her wounds would have been much more grievous if unexpected help had not arrived.

She could still feel a sickeningly-slippery spine-covered appendage strangling her thigh. She remembered screaming, just before the sensation left her entirely and she found herself floating backwards. She remembered being surrounded by silver and white as she watched her attacker explode in front of her, almost in a delayed reaction. And she could never mistake the feeling of that strong arm wrapped around her ribs.

So she had waited tonight until everyone had slept, her mind still whirling. Guiltily, she had crept past her sleeping companion, knowing this was the one night he wouldn't hear her. He had struggled to stay awake, but his healing body had overpowered his will. Still, there was a heart-pounding moment when he stirred towards her when she reached the threshold, a sad and troubled expression on his slumbering face before he slackened again. She frowned, knowing he wouldn't like her leaving, even if she wasn't going far.

She had sponged off her light wound earlier, but the feeling of that disgusting limb was still ghosting her flesh. She stumbled off into the pitch-dark night, picking out a bright star to follow as she tracked to the river. She had to wash some of this feeling off, and maybe then she could rest.

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Her shirt was white. It was the only thing that could compete with the stars on such a dark night. He watched it blink through the trees, knowing she would catch no answering glint from his own clothes. She was still so trusting; she had no idea he was there. He thought. He watched her carefully as she slowed cautiously, peering about her with her inferior eyesight. She would not see him unless he chose to show himself. He was surprised when she froze momentarily, glancing about apprehensively into the dark shadows.

She started again, moving more warily. Her eyes were constantly drawn in his direction, and he was forced to suspect that she detected him on some level. Curiosity was beginning to wear on him as he wondered if her hearing was truly so bad that she would still try to find him with her eyes on a night like this.

She reached the stream, delicately leaning against a sleek boulder as she dipped her bare feet into the water. He watched her remove a bandage, almost as white as her shirt, and frown thoughtfully as she cupped the clear dark water and let it run down her leg. It was easier to hear the water than to actually see it, even for him. She sighed softly as she repeated the motion.

It was that sigh on the wind that made him forget whatever reason he had been holding to keep from being seen from her.

He lowered himself from his sheltered seclusion, approaching her slowly but steadily. In spite of all obstacles, he saw her body tense at his growing proximity. Her holy spirit seemed to swell around her, embracing him as it had this afternoon. He had missed that feeling, he realized.

In a matter of seconds, he was standing across from her, as if he had convened this meeting and had been merely waiting for her to notice him.

Her eyes glinted familiarly as her head snapped up, long hair falling in her face like shadow. He didn't move at all, as if she were a wild animal prepared to bolt. Indeed, she looked the part, as frozen as he was, her lips slightly parted in surprise as she stared wide-eyed at him. Hesitantly, she broke the silence first.

"Sesshoumaru..." she whispered, the sound tumbling with the water over the smooth rocks, as if it were the brook speaking and not her.

No words surfaced in his mind. He still reverently kept his side of the bank, afraid she would turn and run. He had gone too great a length to get this close to her, and he did not want to frighten her off.

She was dressed in that strange outfit she always wore, showing off far too much of her young skin. It crossed his mind that although she had been so close to him for a month, he knew almost nothing about her-- for the girl indeed held secrets. It seemed as if she simply sprang in and out of existence.

Kagome shrank back into herself slightly, intimidated by his intense silence. "What are you doing here?" she asked timidly. "I... Inuyasha's not here."

"I can see that," he offered evenly, though without any hint of malice. "I did not come to see my brother."

He wanted to see if she would scream then, if she would turn and run from him. She should, if experience had taught her anything. It was a new moon, and he knew she was all too aware of all that the circumstance may imply.

"Have you come for me?" Her voice was steady. He realized that she was not afraid of him-at least not for herself. There was very little Kagome could keep hidden from him, even if she tried. Still, she was right. He would not hurt her. Once was enough.

He glided over the stream, landing softly on the other side in the blink of an eye. His feet seemed hardly to touch the springy bank. He stood inches in front of her, tall and immovable. She stayed where she was, but made a subtle shift to put her body between him and the village whence she came. It did not escape his notice.

He did not yet attempt to touch her. "I did not come to take you. Only to speak with you."

Her hand flew up to rest over her heart, as if in relief. She relaxed visibly, her shoulders slumping as she let out a breath. "Oh. Ok. But please, let's stay here. And not for long."

He nodded slightly but gave her an odd look. "You are frightened of something, but it is not me," he stated.

She gave a half-hearted laugh, with a breath of fear, not merriment. "It's nothing, really."

He looked carefully behind her, then back into her dark worried eyes. Resolutely, he took a step towards the village. Immediately he felt her smaller hands press back on his chest as she moved in front of him again. She pleaded with her eyes for him not to move anymore, and he obliged. He found out what he wanted.

"You are trying to protect him."

She bowed her head slightly, as if she had been found out.

All the pieces clicked into place. "I understand now. Your 'fear' of new moons, and the fact that he is not with you tonight. This is my little brother's night of weakness, isn't it?"

She pushed hard on his chest then, her face awash with panic. "How could I let you find out! You can't go after him while he's human, I won't let you touch him!"

Her meager weight was nothing against his strength, and of course she did not succeed in even budging him. "Kagome!" he hissed harshly.

Her starlit eyes snapped up to his reflexively as she halted the pressure on her arms like child that had been scolded. "It will be all my fault if you hurt him, Sesshoumaru. Please, don't."

Her hands were still settled lightly on his breastplate. Seeing the honest worry and guilt in her eyes--the expression that still haunted him--he was quick to reassure her. "I give you my word. I will never confront Inuyasha on the new moon, nor betray this secret."

She let out a breath, drooping like a flower. She looked shy and apprehensive now as she slowly realized her hands were resting on him, and she tried to think of a way to gracefully remove them. The silence stretched for a moment as a blush crept up her face. Thankfully, Sesshoumaru chose to gently lift her fingers from their resting place, letting one arm fall while holding her other wrist as he might a new-born bird. Kagome gave an embarrassed half-laugh that he didn't seem to acknowledge.

With an intense focus, he turned her arm palm up. Positioning her the way he wanted, he gave her a light squeeze, which she assumed meant he wanted her to stay that way. Slowly, he released her arm, using his one hand to cautiously push up her long uniform sleeve. Securing it out of the way to his satisfaction, she watched as he studied her upturned skin, almost white in the near-darkness. He took in the careful ordered marks crossing up her forearm; there were at least half a dozen that were plainly visible and several more which were more subtle and faded. Trying not to scare her, he rested the tip of his finger along one of the lines, letting the point of his claw trace the mark.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked hesitantly. Her arm trembled a little under his heavy scrutiny. She didn't know why she didn't draw away, but she did believe him when he said he wasn't there to hurt her.

"The scars are still there," he said quietly, still looking at her arm rather than her face.

"Yes," she said shakily. She didn't know what else to say.

He paused tracing the lines, abruptly lifting his hand. "Do they hurt?"

"No," she stuttered. "It's alright. Really. You can touch them if you want." He was treating her so delicately, and he seemed so unhappy. She wanted to sooth him, and if this is what he wanted, she would accommodate him.

He stroked the scars again, this time only with the pads of his fingers. "They will never leave, will they?"

She shook her head nervously. "They've healed completely, but the marks will always be there. I know they look kind of bad... I've been wearing long sleeves at home so that no one will ask about them. You know what they look like, after all."

He looked down at her blankly, genuinely confused. "What they look like?"

Her eyes widened as she realized he really didn't understand her meaning. "It's, um... humans sometimes try to take their own lives by cutting the wrist. Humans bleed to death long before they begin to heal." Her words were slow and deliberate, and she slowly saw comprehension seep into his eyes.

"Others will believe you harmed yourself," he stated for her.

She nodded in affirmation and he had the strangest urge to come to her rescue. "It's not that bad," she mumbled, withdrawing her arm. "Everyone who counts know the truth. But I did not like the doctors I had to see. I couldn't tell them what really happened, and they treated me like I was a mental patient."

He put her strange diction aside for a moment, focusing on the heart of her words. "But they healed you?"

She tossed her head up and gave him a smile. Sincere, if a bit weak. "I was in the hospital for a while, but they said my recovery was relatively very quick. Apparently, I heal well."

"That is why you were gone for so long. Or were you afraid to return?" He was intent on receiving some answers tonight, and was ready to tip his hand for the cause.

"You were watching for me?" she dodged the question.

Deciding two could play this game, he circumvented his own motivations. "I was aware you were gone beyond my sight or reach." He wanted to ask where she fled to, but feared pushing her too far too fast.

"I wasn't afraid. Not really. Even if I was, I would still come back. I have a duty to complete here, and I won't let Naraku... or you... drive me away from it."

"The Shikon no Tama," he guessed softly. After a moment, he reconsidered. "Or is it my brother?"

She looked slightly flustered at the question. "Both, I suppose. I am the jewel's keeper. And Inuyasha..." She paused and shifted her weight uneasily.

"You are in love with him," he finished for her gently.

Kagome blushed uncomfortably and looked away. "Why are you really here, Sesshoumaru? Why did you help me earlier? Why would you save me?"

There was no response he could make that would not bruise his pride or needlessly hurt her, so he said nothing.

They watched each other, she still hoping for his answer, he still trying to decide what he wanted from her. Those dark eyes had lost none of their emotion over the weeks of their separation. His perfect vision detected every nuance of those fathomless depths, every flicker of her dark lashes. That softness he remembered was still there, like a halo surrounding her in the dark.

He took in a breath, invisible to her, but weighty to him. "May I touch you?" he asked evenly.

She started. "What?"

"I wish to touch you." His anxiety was carefully cloaked. It seemed important that he gain her permission this time.

"Why?" she asked nervously.

'To put the ghosts to rest,' was his first thought.

"Please," was all he said, somewhere between a demand and a plea.

Her eyes thinned as she tried to read the intent behind his words. She nodded slightly.

He stepped forward until she stood only a hand span away from him. She was tense, like an animal frozen in a predator's presence, hoping that he would not detect her. He could hear her heartbeat; she was nervous, but not frightened.

Holding her eyes, he reached out and let his palm come to rest on the side of her face. Her breath beat against his skin like a weary tide, and he was strangely comforted. He slid his hand back, claws entangling in her ebony hair and stroking down its length. Her eyes drifted shut as if under some spell as his fingers ran through her hair.

When she felt the back of his hand drift down her arm, she looked up to see Sesshoumaru still watching for signs of disapproval. Seeing none, he repeated the motion and paid special attention to the texture of her uniform.

"Why do you wear such a strange thing?" he mused, finding himself unusually curious.

Kagome put one hand to her mouth to cover a giggle that would have screamed 'school girl' if Sesshoumaru had known what the term meant. "I know it looks weird. It's what we're required to where for school where I come from. I guess I just where it here because it's familiar. I don't feel as far away from home."

"Hm," he responded, slightly amused at the sudden merriment in her eyes. "You come from a very strange place, Kagome."

She giggled again, to his unexpected delight, and tossed her head back. "Look!" She pointed up through the gap in the foliage to the night sky. He quickly followed her direction. "A falling star! Oh, it's gone already."

Sesshoumaru had caught the bright streak of celestial light just before it was extinguished. The streambed left an opening to see the night sky; if one were given to imagine, it seemed that the silver stream was a highway to the stars themselves.

"Wow... there's another one," he heard her say as another bright slash cut the blackness. "I have to make a wish!"

His attention was diverted from the sky, settling on Kagome's face as she closed her eyes and exhaled. When she opened them again, she smiled secretively at him. "There," she said softly.

He was half-curious, half bemused. "And why would a star grant your wish?" His voice was steady, but perhaps the wavering night air gave it a slightly patronizing tone.

Kagome tapped her lip thoughtfully. "Well, I don't know. It's just a myth, I guess. They're sort of beautiful and mysterious, you know? It's nice to believe it anyway."

She wasn't afraid to look at him, and he was mildly surprised to find that he didn't mind at all. He even felt comfortable with her somewhat immature speech and whimsical notions. Looking unwaveringly into her shadowed eyes, he swore he could see another falling star sweep over her shining irises. "Why not wish on one of the stars still hanging in the sky? Surely, if you want to beseech something of power, you should not choose the ones that fall."

She gave him a shy look then, reminding him even more of the little girl she almost was. "I suppose it is silly. They aren't anything really-just a meteoroid burning up, even if it does look so pretty." Her eyes dropped wearily, even as the small smile lingered on her finely-shaped lips.

She absently began rubbing her left arm, up and down, from elbow to wrist. She wasn't aware of it, but he was. Golden eyes watched with fascination as the scars on her arms slid in and out of his view.

"I have broken you," he said abruptly.

She must have recognized something in his face that he did not intend to show, for she reached out and snatched his hand.

"Is that why you're here?" She stood close, looking up at him through inquisitively narrowed eyes. "I'm not broken, Sesshoumaru. Or at least, I'm mended already. Truly, I'm feel more whole than I've ever been. But if you are seeking my forgiveness, you have it."

Her words might have lifted a little of the weight on him, but he still didn't understand himself what he was seeking.

He was stonily silent, and she was unable to resist the urge to ramble. "Really, Sesshoumaru. Besides, I've... changed... since I've been with you."

She cast her eyes about her surroundings, searching for something. In demonstration, she extended her hand, letting it alight like a wren on the thin outstretched branches of the tree beside them.

"Watch," she hummed with her focus intent on the branch under her hand. He watched too, her pale fingers stretched caressingly over the dark leaves. On close inspection, he noticed splotches of black wilt staining the foliage.

Her breathing melded with the shadows, and her eyes fell softly shut. After a moment, a faint light began to gather at her fingertips. The pinkish glow swelled like a pool of water, bathing the leaves and filling the crisp night air with waves of subtle pleasant warmth. Before his eyes, the sickness began to wither and shrink. The dying leaves filled once again with moisture, springing from their hopeless faint.

Whole and new, the wind through the leaves seemed to murmur its thanks.

Her eyes fluttered open and she drew her hand back, pulling it into her body and cradling it delicately. She looked to him shyly, a timid smile trying to cover her unease at showing him something that was still new and strange to her.

The question that first escaped him was not one he would have expected. "What does it feel like?"

The words brought a swell of emotions into her that she had felt writhing, dormant, until now. "It... it feels wonderful. But it terrifies me." She reached for him, this time the one that needed the comfort of another's touch. He acquiesced and surrendered his hand to her, despite instinctual apprehension. "When I learned what I could do now... it made me feel more complete, more whole. I have so much more control. Still, I get scared when I think about all that I could do... and all that I can't." She looked up at him with wide pleading eyes. "I can't heal everything, Sesshoumaru," she said. "And I don't know how much I should try."

"Not everything deserves your touch," he told her in what was intended to be a reassuring tone.

She shook her head, never breaking the beam from her eyes to his. "It's not a matter of worth, Sesshoumaru. Don't you see? Someone like you could do so much good-- if only you would understand that."

Her head bowed in desperation, and he wanted to comfort her. "Do not take on burdens that weren't meant to be yours. You're only human."

She drew back slightly, breaking the contact between them, and Sesshoumaru had the feeling he was being rebuked. "Only human? Sometimes I wonder. But maybe there's more to humanity than you believe?"

He looked down on her, the halo from her mercurial body refracting in the stream's moisture. "Perhaps," he said softly, not sure if he really believed it.

She sighed, her whole body wilting and growing as she drew a new breath. "I really shouldn't stay gone any longer, Sesshoumaru. If Inuyasha realizes I'm gone, he won't be happy. And I feel guilty about leaving without telling him anyway. If he knew, he would be angry, especially if he knew I was with you."

It was interesting, he thought, that she phrased this encounter as an intentional meeting. "Go, then," he said, almost without emotion.

She gave him a hesitant smile, bowing slightly before whispering: "Goodnight again, Sesshoumaru." She turned toward the village half-way, as if reluctant to turn her back completely to him.

"Goodnight, Kagome," he said lowly. He flickered out of her sight as she turned back to her path, evaporating from his starlit position.

Though she did not see him, he watched her as she carefully picked her way back through the dark, shining like a beacon. He could hear her clearly, too. Her rustling meshed ungracefully with the night's noises. He listened until he was certain she had managed her way back safely.

He rested again by the black bank, in the spot she had last stood. It's strange rescuer gone, Sesshoumaru stroked the newly-healed foliage in front of him. There was something bittersweet about her touch--it brought a faint aching, as if his heart was recalling something his mind had forgotten if it had ever known at all. Its warmth was welcoming and pleasant, but left him always with the vague feeling that something was missing.

He turned his eyes to the dazzling black sky. Even his brilliant white form was obscured in the near-total darkness, the starlight presenting a mere silver-shifting outline. As he watched, the stars tumbled from the heavens like sparkling white seeds over a swamp. They flared into existence: a slash of white light, a bright-burning streak, and then nothing. The night sky's regulars twinkled in lofty sympathy for their earth-destined counterparts, as untouchable as ever. The sight was captivating. As it held him enthralled, her dark eyes melded in his memory with the mystic sky, lights dancing across them before fading and dying.

So bright. For one fleeting moment, they shone brighter even than their stoic counterparts. It was beautiful, this multitude of graces tumbling from heaven.

As he stared, the downpour slowed, then disappeared altogether. The night would begin to thin soon, but he remained a short while longer, wondering at the night sky.

If only for an instant, he yearned for the jarring disorienting pain of landfall. All he could do was watch for the lights... and curse his infinite lucidity.