Hearbreak hotel by Chiisana Anisa

Heartbreak hotel

Heartbreak hotel

By Chiisana Anisa

Slam!

The big black doors hit so hard it seemed for a moment they would fall out of the hinges, the impact itself leaving the walls trembling. The young woman, however, didn't even flinch. Her mind was totally clouded by anger swirling around her in circles, her aura glowing dark red. Things around her started shaking dangerously and a second didn't pass before all the things made of glass bursted into tiny pieces proving how breakable things are. Glasses, windows and lastly the mirror exploded, pieces flying all over the vast room, the light bulbs following soon after making the place go dark.

Only two lamps by the bed remained untouched and gave light to the shadowed room. At the exact same moment when the glassy pieces flew all around, her knees gave out on her and she tumbled down to the floor in a heap of clothes, her big red dress surrounding her like blooded sea and her raven hair falling across her face hiding her unnatural beauty. Her fists gathered in the rows of her dress, squeezing tightly while she tried to force down her energy.

We choose it, win or lose it

Love is never quite the same

I love you, now I've lost you

Don't feel bad, you're not to blame

Six. Six bloody years and still she had to endure his tantrums, his blaming's, his vicious temper, his disgust and most of all his hatred towards her. Six years of this cold-blooded, odious marriage made between them by them to cover up her pregnancy after one wild and reckless night. One ever so beautiful night that never again happened between them. And never will because it was declared the biggest mistake for both of them.

Large glistening tears trickled down her cheeks from her big blue eyes, darkened to the color of a nights sky in the worst of it's hours. Her body felt numb, just like it always did after this little scenes they provided whenever put together in the same room. Her eyelids closed tiredly, and she welcomed the loneliness they brought to her mind, knowing he would never come after her, he never did.

They lived a lie, and that was as simple as it could get.

She was, after all, a famous actress thanks to all of her main rolls in the romance movies, and he was an actor adored by every man and woman, known by his bad-ass guy rolls. Their job was to act, whether on the screen or in their private life. They had to, for the sake of a little girl that was the product of that one night six long, unforgettable years ago. She blamed herself and as it seemed, so did he. If he was asked she wore the guilt for this scenario which they called life.

She raised her head and met her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall directly across her spot on the floor. Her make up was ruined, her dress smudged by all the tear stains and her hands red by the energy constantly suppressed in them. If she was to leash it out she would probably destroy the complete north side where their apartment was placed. And she couldn't afford a scandal like that, although it would be only added to the pile of many others.

Seeing herself down like this, again, she felt that anger from before surface again. She never asked for this! An angry fist hit the floor over her dress and little bolts of energy flew out towards the mirror breaking it in half.

A day didn't pass when she didn't feel new wound open on her little heart that as she was a young girl dreamed of a perfect love, man and family she would have in the future. And just look what her future turned out to be. Bitter life full of regret, pain, loneliness and desperation. The funniest thing in this whole charade was that she loved him.

So kiss me goodbye and I'll try not to cry

All the tears in the world won't change your mind

There's someone new and she's waiting for you

Soon your heart will be leaving me behind

Oh, yes. She fell in love with him the first moment she laid her eyes on his gracious figure. His long silver hair that transcended down his back as a waterfall, his big gold eyes that expressed so much when he allowed it. Nowadays only repulsion and anger.

Never, not once she saw any positive emotion in those pretty orbs directed to her, and she hoped even now she would one day. Who would've guessed one could hope for so long on her dreams as a naive child. She would sit there for hours in self-pity if it wasn't for small steps that echoed from the hallway of a hotel, nearing the suite. Soon after the door knob turned and the mini replica of her image bursted in.

"Mama, mama...!" The child called, while her dark, curly locks jumped with every step she made, the little cheeks flushed red by the actions. But the girl stopped when she saw to her eyes well known picture of her loving mother, and soon were her eyes full of tears also as she threw her little body into her mothers frame, hugging her with all she was worth.

"Mama, don't cry! Please don't cry!" The girl begged when her mother's hands circled her, seeking comfort from that little person that seemed to be the only one who loved her around here.

"I'm not crying, dear." She tried to assure her daughter, knowing very well she failed as soon first words left her mouth. Her dear, dear child shouldn't be blamed for everything that transpired between her and her 'darling'. The child should be spared from all their fights, screaming in unholy night hours, all their bickering's and accusations.

But the girl knew very well the situation her parents found themselves in and she loved them very much herself. And not even she was enough to bring them closer together as everyone had hoped. The public knew it was a marriage from interest and a marriage made to save her mothers honor. Sadly at the age of six, so did she.

Because of that she hugged her mother strongly, afraid to ever let go, petrified by the thoughts of her mother leaving her forever. "But mama, I can see your tears! Did daddy make you sad again?"

At this point the woman flinched and took her daughters petite face in her hands looking at her strangely. Why was she blessed with such a smart child? She stared and stared, not quite believing that something so beautiful and innocent came out of this whole mess, and she felt sick at heart for not making it possible for her little angel to feel the true warmness of home, and give her the love she deserved.

Linger awhile, then I'll go with a smile

Like a friend who just happened to call

For the last time pretend you're mine

My darling, kiss me goodbye

The woman knew her husband loved their daughter very much, that he cherished every moment he got with her, bought her tons of presents, indulged her every little whim... Just as did she. Yet they couldn't bring themselves to be even civil when together. And that was the reason why she would never admit it that she loves him.

She would always remain silent about how she would follow his every motion with the back of her eye, how she knew by heart the scent he gave away, which was distinctively his, how she knew exactly what he would do or say in a requested situation. Oh, no her pride be damned if she would ever say all of that out loud.

Sad smile graced her face, and despite all brought some shine to her eyes, her hands stroking her daughters hair. Thinking about all of this she still didn't answer her daughter's question, so the little one reminded her.

"Mama, did he make you sad?"

Two more tears appeared in those blue lonely eyes, stopping her from seeing the doors open slightly, her sobs preventing her from hearing the doors squeak when stopped in a half open position. Banning her brain from registering another person in the room.

"Yes, he did, my love. But it will pass, don't you worry. It always does." She offered as an answer. But the girl wasn't satisfied.

"But mama, I don't understand. Why do you let him make you sad?"

Now, the young woman sitting there in the middle of the room, looked aside and saw part of the damage her miko energy did to it and felt remorse wash over her in tidal waves, threatening to pull her under if it wasn't for two arms that held onto her own so tight. Her soul so troubled she over-saw the presence of a familiar aura in the room with them, and she was yet to notice it.

"Because all married people fight. It's natural. And some say it's good for the marriage."

"But mama, you cry every day. I think that's not healthy."

Again her mothers arms surrounded her and she felt warm all over, except when fresh tears from her mothers eyes which looked so forlorn dropped on her arms and face told her that mother didn't feel any better. And the words her mother kept repeating didn't make her little heart any better too, for she shared her pain and sadness although only six years old.

"It will pass... It will pass..."

The person leaned on the door frame, looking at the sad couple on the floor with eyes glazed over in grief. The moment he saw the girl run in he went to stop her, but arrived too late. And then he did something he never did usually. He opened that doors that looked forbidden to him, so frightening of what he will find on the other side. For the first time he walked in and saw that which his heart feared the most.

His golden eyes saw the woman he loved more than anything broken in the arms of the second woman most important to him on earth. The girl cried with his wife and he felt his heart break in two by hearing the little girls questions and his wife responses which should have been comforting. But they weren't. Instead they were the epitome of all the hurt he brought on her soul, heart and mind.

I know now I must go now

Though my heart wants me to stay

That girl is your tomorrow

I belong to yesterday

He may have told all others he wasn't the one to blame, that she was. But nonetheless he felt more guilty seeing them like this that he had a sudden thought of turning around never to return. Yet, something strange stopped him, and it took all but few seconds to realize it was his fractured heart that did so.

He intended to go out, deciding she would only scream at him to go out, that they would fight again, scared she would reject him. He knew she didn't love him, that she cried because he treated her like he did. But he treated her like that because he saw it as self-defense, so that gave him a very good reason. Making a step back he started going out when his daughter spoke again.

"Oh, mama, why you let him hurt you when you love him so?"

And that sentence made her mother sigh out loud, sobbing softly, while she raised her head to wipe away her tears and the tears of her daughter. Leaning back she gave her a kiss on the forehead and smiled.

"Because your papa doesn't know that I love him. So please my love, we'll keep it a secret."

"But mama, if you love him.."

The woman shook her head, once again unbearable pain ripping her heart apart, remembering that she put her own happiness out of mind for the sake of her daughter, when she decided she would pretend to make her life as it should have been. And although it proved to be without success, she still hid her feelings.

"One day, my love, you'll learn that some things are better left unspoken."

As soon she spoke that she felt two strong arms wrap her in a embrace so soft and gentle she thought she was dreaming. She knew very well whose hands it were with great murderous claws at the tips og the fingers that held her, she knew the scent that accompanied them. And her heart soared when she heard that person speak.

"Not always Kagome." The husky voice replied in mere whisper making her shiver. Her eyes saw her daughters face lit up with a large smile, her eyes shining so brightly in a way only child's could. And for the first time in a long set of years she felt happy.

But she had to make herself sure. "Why is that?"

Those arms turned her around only to bring her face to face with her husband, and it was then when she received the biggest surprise in her life. The emotion in his eyes wasn't repulsion, anger, disgust or anything negative at all.

So kiss me goodbye and I'll try not to cry

All the tears in the world won't change your mind

There's someone new and she's waiting for you

Soon your heart will be leaving me behind

No, this time she saw an emotion familiar to her from her own reflection in the mirror. She saw a man full of doubt, fears, but over all a man full of love. Her heart fluttered in her chest, her lungs demanding some fresh air for she ceased to breathe when he turned her around and grabbed her face gently with his large hands.

"Because if you don't say to me that you love me you will never find out that I love you too."

At this her vision clouded again and she threw herself in his arms, sobbing on his shoulder for the first time in six years. He held her by her request, their daughter joining the family hug overdue by a long time. Tears of happiness marred the young woman's face and despite all of their fighting she thanked the God's for this glorious evening.

She didn't even dream of this kind of an event, but she dared to hope about it and finally her hope paid out. Retreating back she looked in the face of a man she loves so much it hurt sometimes, that pain lingered in her for weeks, that she thought of leaving sometimes.

Now... now she was just happy, content and amazingly tired. She leaned and pressed her lips to his, tasting them after missing them for six years, finally getting her most inner hearts wish when he kissed her back.

She was aware one long conversation was ahead of them. She knew every well that they had so many things to talk over, that this was just the tip of the iceberg and that they won't have roses in their garden of life from now on. No, every now or then they would have some unwanted visitors called fights and bickering's. Yet, she was sure that they would all have colors of love in them.

They were just starting, this wasn't the end at all. They had a daughter, their lovely Akiro to raise and adore with love, and whole life ahead of them. She only hoped and she felt he did too that they would do it the right way this time. So what was a better way to start anew than saying,

"I love you, Sesshoumaru. I really do."

Linger awhile, then I'll go with a smile

Like a friend who just happened to call

For the last time pretend you're mine

My darling, kiss me goodbye

Kiss me goodbye...

...

...

THE END

Love,

Anisa