Instant Love! by butterflychan

Instant Love!

A/N: I had to repost because it seems that I have ended up with someone else's story reviews! Thanks to previous reviewers and if you all review again...wow, you must really love me! -lol-

A/A/N: Umm...what to say, what to say...I may have gone off the deep end with this. I needed a strange release and this was it. It's kind of mocking all those Sess/Kag stories that always seem to follow the same plot line. But it's all in good fun and I harbor no ill will toward any of the writers who have stories with the implied plot(s).

~SBW~

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Disclaimer: SOB! I don't own them!!!!

Instant Love!

Summary: A little mockery of the overuse of some Sess/Kag plots. Just a bit of fun, please enjoy! Excerpt- "And Sesshomaru-sama's heart grew three sizes that day!"

"Osuwari!" Kagome Higurashi shouted, storming away from the clearing where she had stalked InuYasha to only to find him sexin' it up with the clay pot Kikyo.

"I can't believe you!" She yelled, furious tears streaming down her cheeks.

She didn't care that she had just 'osuwari-ed' InuYasha while he was on top of Kikyo, who was now a pile of dirt from the force of the hanyou being slammed down on her, which had crushed her into oblivion. Angrily, she stalked off into the forest, not going to the well (because that would be the good and logical idea) and ended up lost. Because, as it always seemed to be, it was extremely dark at night, Kagome missed a fallen branch and went flying to the ground.

"Ouch!" She exclaimed, pushing herself up and onward.

"OW!" Yet another devilish branch found it's way in front of her.

"Eep!" 'thud.'

"Holy shi-" 'thud.'

"Not aga-" 'thud.'

"Just how many Goddamned branches are out to get me?!?!?" Finally twisting her ankle to the point that she couldn't get up, Kagome just stayed on the ground and sobbed uncontrollably about the whole stupid situation.

Unbeknownst to her, there was a spectator watching her with extreme interest and disgust. If it was even possible to be feeling those two things at the same time. The golden eyes glowed intensely in the dark cover of the trees and it became obvious that Kagome was either ignoring the tremendous glow coming from his eyes or she was just so completely oblivious to her surroundings that she deserved to die.

Deciding it was the latter, Sesshomaru (her mystery stalker) stepped out from the shadows and drew Tokijin.

"Sesshomaru! Gasp! Well isn't someone looking particularly beautiful today? Did I just say that out loud? Am I still talking? Why haven't you killed me yet? Can't you see I want to die?" Kagome, after figuring out that she can't flatter her way to safety or to death, not entirely sure which she wants, scrambles to her feet. Then she runs. Right into him.

She had knocked herself unconscious and Sesshomaru, deciding not to take advantage of the situation and kill her, picked her up and flew off to his wonderful castle. His reasoning for keeping her alive? She intrigued him.

Kagome slept for a while and woke up in a magnificent bed in a beautiful sleeping yukata that she doesn't question how she got in. Instead she remembers what horrible act committed, as if she hadn't expected it, and begins to sob all over again. From out of thin air she grabs a dagger and thrusts it into her chest, killing herself in her despair.

"Oh InuYasha how could you! Even though you told me that you loved Kikyo, I didn't really take you seriously! If I can't have you then life isn't worth living!"

Sesshomaru, in a nearby room, decides that something is wrong with the ningen woman he brought back with him and rushes to her aide. Using tenseigia, he revives her, feeling completely relieved that she's alive again though he thinks she's nothing more than a stupid ningen.

"Your so stupid. Killing yourself over my stupid half-brother. This Sesshomaru is so much better than that hanyou and loves you a lot even though I do not know it yet!"

She's happy, he's relieved, they kiss and then Sesshomaru leaves yet again and Kagome cries. Again.

Sesshomaru's confused and then everything becomes clear when Kagome gets kidnapped by none other than Kouga. He realizes that he loves her.

And Sesshomaru-sama's heart grew three sizes that day!

Rushing off to rescue his beloved from the clutches of the evil wolf who is only know attempting to ravish her perfect body, Sesshomaru prepares the killing blow only to be stopped by Kagome. By meekly asking if they could return home she has clearly overpowered the TaiYoukai and they leave Kouga with a friendly warning.

"Don't come near MY mate again or I'll make sure that you can't mate with anyone. Ever. If you catch my drift." That is what Sesshomaru whispers while Kagome obliviously is asleep again in the TaiYoukai's arm.

Once they are back at his extravagant castle, Kagome wakes up and, as a way of thanks, gives Sesshomaru back his arm.

"Allow me to restore your arm Fluffy!"

"Fine. Don't call me Fluffy."

"Whatever you say Fluffy."

Sesshomaru just takes the horrible nickname in silence. He watches in amazement as she restores his long lost arm.

"Oh my arm, how I've missed you so!" He cries out, admiring his mate-to-be's handiwork. (pun COMPLETELY intended)

Suddenly Kagome passes out, again, and is engulfed in a bright light. When the light fades Kagome is a beautiful inu-youkai with a thousand-color hair and green eyes (wtf?). She wakes up and has a new bad-ass attitude and can kick butt now that Midoriko trained her while she had slept.

Then Naraku shows up. Kagome destroys him while Sesshomaru attempts to fight but is badly wounded and ends up in a rather large puddle of blood. Rather worried, Kagome rushes to his side and using her 'youkai-miko' powers to heal him and then they go into his castle to have hot, animal sex.

"Wow."

The next day InuYasha shows up, trying to kill Kagome for inadvertently killing Kikyo.

"Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari! Osuwari!"

InuYasha groans in pain and looks around. Kikyo's waving at him with her arm around Naraku's waist and both are smiling at him. It's extremely hot and InuYasha realizes that he's in Hell. She 'osuwari-ed' him all the way to Hell.

"Wench!!!" He shouts, climbing out of the hole.

Kagome suddenly forgives him for trying to kill her and Sesshomaru gives him a big smile and he is welcomed into the family. Sesshomaru is suddenly so happy.

"I'm so happy now! All the time! I'm just so happy!"

"I've never seen you like this Sesshomaru!" Kagome says in shock at her mate's behavior.

"Maybe it's because you melted the ice around my heart and now I can suddenly laugh and smile again! I love you so much! I'm just so happy!"

And they lived happily ever after.

However, Kagome' family in the future was forgotten about. But Mama Higurashi just hummed as she cooked and cleaned, not worried in the least as her daughter stayed missing for years and years. Souta remained naive and weird and Gramps was...well, Gramps.

The End