Man with the Hex by Selestia

In Which a Taiyoukai Meets a Witch Doctor and there is a Hair-Pulling Food Vendetta

The old man sat in the middle of the road, lotus style, and quite comfortable and willing to stay there. Eyes closed, the gnarled hands clutched at the twisted and mangled staff that lay across his shoulder. Large nuts and feathers dangled from the staff head, drifting in the faint breeze.

He wore an ensemble of bones of small animals and birds and feathers of a gamut type of birds, decorating him colorfully from head to toe. Beneath the noise, he word a simply brown hakama. His feet were bare, and white hair grew out of his ears beneath the bush of salt and pepper hair on his head, giving him a wizened--if not eccentric--look.

Sesshoumaru stared at the odd, old man in his path. No one dared get in his way. He kept walking forward, and when he came into closer contact, the man threw his staff forward, the nuts tinkling together musically.

"Stop!"

The taiyoukai raised an eyebrow, and continued forward. The old codger grinned, showing many missing teeth, the rest yellowed with age, and waved his staff at Sesshoumaru.

It made him stop for a very brief moment. "Baka. Get out of my way."

"Ho, can't you step around?"

The dead glare the taiyoukai gave the old man was a blatant enough answer. He cackled gleefully, and stayed in his seat on the ground in the middle of the path. If he couldn't get an answer, he wasn't going to move for anymore. Not even this arrogant young man.

"So arrogant! Is it that much trouble to step around an old man enjoying the sun?"

Sesshoumaru glanced up briefly, his eyes quickly flicking back on the one in his way. It was a cloudy, almost rainy day. There was no sun. His hand tensed at his side, aching to do away with this geriatric nuisance.

Once again, the old man cackled maniacally. "It is! For someone like you it is!" He spoke in an almost sing-song sort of way, his voice cracking with the age and lack of use.

The taiyoukai had had enough, and lashed out with the whip extension of dokkasu. A sharp crack reverberated through the woods. He smirked with satisfaction at the geezer's sudden lack of a head.

Too bad things don't last. The eccentric old man's head popped up, for he had simply thrown it back, avoiding the whip altogether. A smoldering of smoke came from his bushy hair, and his free gnarled hand grasped at the offending area. The wide, watery, colorless eyes widened even farther.

"Aieee! You tried to kill me!"

Sesshoumaru raised his hand once again, the tips of his fingers glowing green. The man on the ground scrambled out of the way, clinging to his cluttered staff. When he was a decent distance from his previous location, the taiyoukai proceeded forward.

As he walked by, he gave no notice to the wizened old man snaking his hand out and snatching several small hairs off the pelt he carried over his shoulder.

Subaba watched the arrogant man as he went down the path. "Baaaka." He cackled again, holding up the strands of fur from the pelt. "You'll get yours, gaki."

Kagome drummed her fingers against the handlebars of her bicycle. Behind her, Inuyasha and Shippou were arguing. Yet again. For the umpteenth time that morning. Makes me wonder if he gets the same way at a certain time of the month that women do.

But this time it was over the last bag of potato chips that she'd brought with her from the present the last time she'd came through the well. They were far from Kaede's village, far from the Bone-Eater's Well, and far from getting more supplies until Kagome needed to return for one reason or another. So the survival of the fittest seemed to reign supreme, and Inuyasha was determined to display his supremacy over the kitsune youkai.

A loud thump of a certain hanyou's fist meeting Shippou's head was almost more than she could take.

The yelling that followed was. "Kagome! Inuyasha's picking on me!"

"You're the one who sta--"

"Inuyasha, osuwari!"

The loud crash was a satisfying sound as she stopped, using the kickstand on her bike to stand it up to turn and see the hanyou face first into the ground. Shippou sat on his back, holding the guilty bag of potato chips over his head.

Kagome stepped over and snatched the bag from his hands. "You two have eaten every crumb of food I've brought back with me in record time. Save some for later!"

"Temee..."

"Osuwari." He'd barely raised his head before he went crashing back into the dirt.

Kagome turned and retrieved her bicycle, putting the chips back in her backpack before heading forward on the dirt road to meet up with Miroku and Sango, who had gone on ahead of the others. However, heaving the ever-faithful command by Kagome, they had stopped to watch the festivities.

Miroku raised an eyebrow, then shook his head as he watched Inuyasha raise to his feet slowly. "Such a simpleton."

"He really is very narrow-minded. Maybe we should keep him and Shippou apart. No sense letting Shippou grow up with those kind of manners." Miroku nodded at Sango's comment.

"C'mon you guys." Kagome smiled cheerfully, meeting up with the two as Inuyasha and Shippou trudged behind at a slower pace. "They just need to learn how to share. And to be more patient."

"Keh."

She ignored Inuyasha, and kept on walking with Sango and Miroku. Kirara mewled from the taijiya's shoulder, digging her claws into her friend's skin deep enough to make the girl wince.

"Itai! Kirara!"

Miroku peered closer at the small nekoyoukai as Kagome stopped her bike again, pointing up ahead on the road. "Look!"

An old man sat on the ground in the middle of the road, a staff over his shoulder covered in nutshells and the whatnot. Kagome tilted her head to the side, frowning. He seemed so out of place for Feudal Japan. She entertained the thought that if he had a few bones through his nose that he could have been a witch doctor...

Inuyasha came up to her side, glowering at the obstacle in their path. "Nani? It's just an old man. We can go around him."

"But don't you think it's strange, Inuyasha?" Sango gingerly touched her shoulder when Kirara had clawed her. "He wasn't there a minute ago..."

"Just because you didn't see him doesn't mean he wasn't there." The hanyou stalked past Miroku, pushing his sleeves up as he approached the odd man. The others looked between themselves, then followed after him, albeit rather reluctantly.

He had his eyes closed, and they snapped open when Inuyasha got close, the staff swinging out with a musical tinkle of all the knickknacks on the staff head. "Stop!"

Inuyasha stopped several feet from him. "Eh?"

Kagome came up behind him, looking at the fairly odd man. "Konnichiwa..."

His watery eyes turned from the hanyou to her, and she jerked her head back. He reminded her of Toutousai, that vacant yet knowing expression on his face. But that was where the similarities seemed to end. His toes stretched from on top of the opposite knees from where he sat lotus style.

"Kooonnichiwa, young woman. How fares such a lovely girl this day?"

Inuyasha growled next to her ear, glaring at the oddity before them. "Who the hell are you?"

"Inuyasha!" Kagome's sharp word cut him off, leaving he hanyou glaring at the old man. She smiled at the person blocking their path. "He's right, you know. Who are you?"

The man didn't move from the ground, remaining lotus style, but the staff was replaced over his shoulder, watching Kagome with colorless eyes. "Aa, I am Subaba. And you, lovely lady, are...?"

She could hear Miroku snickering behind her and Inuyasha growling next to her. Kagome flushed brightly, giving Subaba another smile. "Kagome."

"Kagome-chan, ne? Lovely name for a lovely la--"

"Keh!"

Kagome felt a twinge of irritation at the hanyou's dour attitude, and ignored it. "Subaba-sama, what are you doing sitting out in the middle of the road?"

Sango leaned forward, staring closer at the eccentric little man. "That's a really good question."

Subaba turned his gaze from Kagome to Sango, and smiled, showing the large gapes from missing teeth. "Ah! Another lovely lady! Even as lovely as Kagome-chan! And you are...?"

He's sure a charmer, even if he isn't all that charming. Kagome grinned, looking to Sango, who was blushing vividly. She noted Miroku's rather amused expression at Sango's flush.

"Eh...Sango."

"Ah! Sango-chan and Kagome-chan." The man cackled, a sound that was dry and cracked. It was shut off quickly, and Kagome was amazed at the sudden change in expression. It was like a switch had been flipped. Suddenly, his expression was forlorn and long. "You wouldn't happen to have anything to eat, now would you?"

A loud crack reverberated as Inuyasha's fist connected with Subaba's head. "Temee, you're going to beg us for food?!" The man had one eye crunched, the other looking up at the hanyou who was rolling up his sleeves for yet another blow.

"Osuwari!"

"Gnyaaah!" The hanyou crashed to the ground once again, pulled down by the magic spell in Kagome's command.

Subaba jumped to his feet, away from Inuyasha, and cackled again with the glee at seeing the hanyou face first in the dirt. "G'ah ha ha! Lovely Kagome-chan! You are amazing!"

Kagome dug in her backpack, Shippou jumping on her shoulder to watch what she was doing. He squeaked his protests when she pulled out the bag of potato chips and a small box of cookies.

"Kagome-chan! That's ours!"

"Shippou-chan...you and Inuyasha have eaten so much that you're teeth are going to rot." Kagome left the reprimand at that, leaving her bike on the kickstand to step forward, holding out the food to Subaba. "Here. It's not a lot, but you can have it."

Subaba blinked, looking from Inuyasha to Kagome. He grinned broadly, taking the proffered food with a gracious bow of his head. "Aah, arigatou, Kagome-chan." The old man paused, cocking his bushy head to one side. "Ano..."

Kagome blinked. "Nani?"

She shrieked as the old man plucked several hairs from her head, grabbing her scalp to protect it from a further attack. Sango had her hands on Hiraikotsu before the man even had a chance to laugh again. Inuyasha was also up from his place on the ground, the hilt of Tessaiga in hand.

"Suman, Kagome-chan! I do not mean to harm you!" Subaba turned and danced off away, the staff in one hand making all sorts of noise as he went. Inuyasha growled and lunged after the eccentric old geezer, only to find it an illusion, the man already gone.

Sango stepped up next to Kagome, watching the direction the old man disappeared into. "What was that all about?"