your story isn't horrible and I don't mean this in a mean way, just needs a lot of aid. Get a beta if you haven't already, one that has a more mature style of writing, a lot of points in your story you sound as if you're simply speaking and not developing any of your thoughts. Read your chapters over again before you post. Just some helpful sugguestions. Anyone can be a writer, but not everyone can be a good writer. It just takes time

more chapters please!!!

please write more i really like your your story.

its ok..just more chapters and i'll forgive you..lol...

please write more this story of yours is so cute

That was a cool story!Pleaz continue it.Thanx

please write more

Hey K_I_B,

Great story, although, you're right. You do need a beta. I can happily oblige for that. This is an awesome story and I think it has a lot of potintial. You can e-mail me at my email adress amd send me the chapters. Alright, update soon and keep up the good work!

___Entiy____

this is a good story but i want to know what happens next

So far it is really good! I can't wait to read the next. Good Luck with them! ;)