Love Yourself by Akumi

Wasted?

~~~~~A certain amount of years~~~~~ - Flash back

"Blah" - Talking

'Blah" - Thoughts

Love Yourself

Sitting silently in the fairly large garden, her fingers were hard at work, surrounded in dark green gardening gloves. This garden was her safe haven, it was her home. She could spend countless hours just sitting among the petals and dirt. They have bared witness to her tears, laughter, and her gasping breaths. She created this garden with her very hands, staying up well into the night just to finish at times.

This is where she came to escape the pain, the memories, and the regret. Here she was just Kagome; here all she was meant to do was help nature's children grow. She felt more attached to this small piece of landscape than she did to anything else in this place, this home. No, this was no home. Not anymore anyways. Drowning in self hatred and pity, she hated the way her life had turned out, hated all of it.

Well, not all of it. She loved her child, her little baby boy or girl. She had just been informed she was pregnant two days ago. She honestly didn't expect it; she was foolish enough to think it was a simple stomach flu. No, it was no flu, there was a baby growing inside her. It was one of the happiest moments in her short life. Pregnant, she was pregnant. She would have a child, a little baby to love, a mixture of Sesshoumaru and herself.

It was amazing how fast her mind fell into the plans for her child. Surprisingly, even with those plans being made, she didn't feel like a mother. Sure, she got the morning sickness and such, but she didn't feel like a child was inside of her. She was looking forward to the day she did.

She had yet to tell her fiancé, and she didn't think she was going to. A sigh fell from her at the thought of that conversation. He couldn't even love her, how could he love their child? This was the main reason for her self-hatred. She didn't want to stay here. She never wanted to be tied down the way she was. With this man, this man that had turned out to be nothing like she had thought at first.

The largest issue wasn't even that he changed, that he ended up being someone different. It was that he was nothing like who he was before, nothing. If it would have been just a change, she could have handled it. If he turned out differently from who she thought he was, she would have seen it coming and left before it was too late. No, this was different. He completely transformed over night, and she had no weapon to defend herself from it. She didn't even understand why.

She remembered the first day she met him. It was four years ago. She was only seventeen at the time. Seeing his luring eyes, she was entranced from the first time their eyes collided. Collided, that described all they did now. Every other word out of her fiancé's mouth was silence. Now that makes very little sense to most people, but it was all too real and understandable to her.

Well, maybe not understandable. The saddest part was that the other half of his words was him saying that she can't do this, or she can't do that. Horrible dictations on how she should do things right. As far as she was told, she was a failure. Many arguments had broken out over how he treated her, but it all ended the same. He would comment on how she wasn't a good enough mate for him, and she would be left watching him walk away, eyes always blurred.

She was being trained on how to be the perfect mate for him. You see, her fiancé was the heir to a very wealthy and powerful kingdom. He was to be the next Lord of the West. As for her, she was to be the Lady of the West. To normal girls this would make them scream and jump for joy, not her. All this meant was that she had to become something completely different from what she really was. She had to change to, and knew she lacked the cruelty to do so.

She was no longer really Kagome. Oh no, she was Lady Kagome. This was everything that she had never wanted. Being molded to be this high standing woman, she never felt more like a liar. She didn't want to grow old in a life like this and didn't want her child to either. No, she most certainly didn't want this for her child. All she wanted was for her child to grow up in a house of love. Kagome looked longingly up at the darkening sky and sighed.

The worst part out of everything was the fact that she still loved him. Yes, she loved Sesshomaru more than life itself. She couldn't help but wonder though, if he loved her back, wouldn't that mean he loved the real her? Wouldn't that mean that he wouldn't want to change her? How can there be love if you can't be yourself? There is no love. The love would be false if you had to change someone to make loving them ok. No, he did not love her. He couldn't. It just didn't fit in with the concept of love. If the old saying was correct, he wished her to leave.

"Action's speak louder than words." She whispered the saying out loud to herself, the sound of surrender twinning in the words.

Pushing herself up off of the grassy expanses of the walkway lining the blossoming flowers, she walked among the rainbows of petals, the floral scent filtering through her nose. Even the scent of flowers did little to ease her mind.

Kagome walked back to the now cold home. She knew he wasn't home. He wouldn't be home for another three days. He was away with his father getting contracts drawn up for the transition of titles and what not. She used to be interested in all of the legal issues of his kingdom, but not after he closed her out. She lost all interest in his dealings after he turned his back on her. It stung her heart more than she'd care to admit when she saw his back.

That seemed to be all that she saw lately. She could describe it in perfect detail if need be. Her gaze lowered to the stone steps that led to the large wooden door that was the entrance to this dungeon. Yes, it was a dungeon. Lightly pushing the door open, the tarnished stench of loneliness seeped into her mind. Moving silently through the hall she reached the living room, her eyes straying above the mantle on top of the fireplace, a sad and remorseful smile caressing her raspberry lips.

There was a large framed picture hanging on the tan walls of a happy couple. Their smiles illuminated the dimmed room and a tear abused her eye as she blinked rapidly to restrain it. The picture was of Sesshoumaru and her, taken on the day he proposed to her. It was such a happy night. They used to be so loving towards one another, and now, now it could never be the same. He turned cold again. What hurt wasn't that he was cold. No, what hurt was that he was cold towards her.

Her heart broke a little more every time she looked into his locked up eyes. His eyes should never be that locked away, not when he was looking at her. Every time she felt the scream building in her, her cry to understand, and every time she hid it. She might be selfish, but that mattered little in the scheme of things. The things she wanted were not too much to ask for from someone that is supposed to love you. All she asked for was love. Maybe it was too much to ask.

The love that she asked for wasn't even for herself anymore. No, it was for her child, their child. Could he love their baby? Would that change him back, or would it make the situation worse? She knew if she had to question it, the answer was already in place. No, her baby would never know the pain she faced.

Kagome turned and walked up the crimson carpeted stairs that led to the upstairs portion of the house; the pace of the walk slowing as she spotted five boxes with labels adorning their cardboard surfaces. Her bottom lip was abused by callous teeth as a flashback of one of her most precious memories assaulted her mind.

~~~~~Three years earlier~~~~~

Leaning into the arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders, she nuzzled her cheek into his warm chest, a soft smile playing on her lips. A giggle broke out as she heard the soft rumble coming from the very chest she leaned against. Tilting her head back, her eyes danced with amusement as they met peaceful orbs. Grinning, she leaned into him and caught his lips, letting her passion for him speak more than she ever could. The rumble getting louder, she broke away and began to giggle more helplessly. The giggles stopped rather forcefully as a squeak of protest was heard.

"Hey! Let me go!" She spoke indignantly, her eyes flaming.

Holding the fiery miko by her waist, the demon chuckled with false malice. "Oh, and what shall you do about it little priestess?" Grinning, he began to move his fingers over her ribs, his eyes softening slightly with her tinkling laughter.

Taking deep breaths, Kagome tried to get enough air into her lungs to shout her words of anger. Anger slipping away easily, the laughter continued to flow un-bidden. Struggling to get her hands over his, she squirmed.

"Now now Miko, that wouldn't be wise. I could easily drop you if you make me lose my grip." Sesshoumaru threatened, his fingers going slack, letting her body drop only an inch before gripping onto her sides again.

Gasping, Kagome's eyes grew wide, as she froze in her movements. "You wouldn't dare!" She said in a confident tone, her eyes twinkling in mirth.

"Oh? And what makes you so sure Priestess?" The demon lord said evilly, his fingers loosening.

Grinning, she leaned close to his ear and took it between her teeth. Nibbling on it gently, she spoke with a breathy tone. "Because you love me Darling."

A deep growl and lightning eyes was her only response, or warning, before she was brought to the floor with a very eager demon on top of her.

~~~~~Present~~~~~

Taking in a deep breath, she struggled to find her strength once again. Just because they were happy once made no difference now, it meant nothing now. She couldn't stay for that, she couldn't live for her yesterdays. Reaching down slowly for the first box that was labeled 'shirts', it was heaved up into her arms with a quiet grunt. Turing around slowly she was careful not to trip and tumble down, her baby at the front of her mind. Once she got to the door that led to the garden she set the box down on the cold floor to open the door. She picked the box up a little easier this time and exited the house.

She walked around the garden and continued her way up to her blue Ford Escort that was parked on the long circular driveway that led to the house. She opened the unlocked back door and set the box in. Multiple trips were made to get the boxes situated, sweat beading on her pale brow. Taking a deep breath, she walked to the driver's door; hand on the handle when she realized she forgot one more item.

She walked back to the door and went into the living room to find her house key. She forgot to lock the door and couldn't just leave the house unguarded. Locating the silver key, it was snatched off the coffee table that sat between two twin leather couches. Next to where the key once lay was a neatly folded up letter with the name 'Sesshoumaru' written in nice penmanship. It was her letter to him. It explained all that she could hope to explain.

She turned to go back to the door when a glint from the dying sun caught her attention. Eyes focusing on the culprit, she moved towards it, her reflection meeting her gaze. It was the picture. She could see herself and her old self in the picture, and hated what she was now. Reaching up slowly, she traced the black circles that lined her eyes. Hand shaking, she moved it to her non-existent laugh lines that she once wore with pride. So many changes had happened, and none were for the better. None of them were things to keep.

Reaching her tired arms up, the frame was grasped at both sides as she lifted it slightly, taking it off the nail that held it for so long. She set the picture softly on the hardwood floor and looked back up at the now bleak wall. 'It needs something.' The words were thought without much notice. Giving a half hearted shrug she grabbed the frame with her left hand, suddenly freezing. She knew exactly what was missing.

Having lifted her right hand, she inspected her white gold engagement ring. It had a heart shaped diamond in the middle and nothing else. She scowled at the ring and slowly took it off. Just barely reaching, she stood in front of the mantle, her body stretched out with the strain. With one final pull of her muscles, the ring was now on display. The nail complimented the ring well, better than the picture at least.

Settling on her feet, she pivoted and moved toward the door once again. She contemplated taking the picture, but it didn't seem right. It wasn't how things were now, so why would she want to have a memory of something that only hurt? A sad song she heard a few days ago floated around in her ears. This was the song that gave her the incentive to move one. It was 'Wasted' by Carrie Underwood.

Standing at the back door

She tried to make it fast

One tear hit the hard wood

It felt like broken glass

She said sometimes love slips away

And you just can't get it back

Let's face it

Kagome reached her hand out for the handle as her exhausted eyes resigned to letting out one tear. She knew she couldn't have her happy life back. Without the love, there was no way she could live. That didn't mean she didn't wish for it, dream of it. At the end of the day, when you curl up into yourself, arms wrapped securely around your body, just trying to pretend you're not alone, something is wrong. She was so tired of feeling alone when someone was there. It had to be better to actually be alone, right?

For one split second

She almost turned around

But that would be like pouring rain drops

Back into a cloud

So she took another step and said

I see the way out and I'm gonna' take it

Turning the handle and opening the door, she knew there was no coming back. The door locked and the key on the key holder, she felt the tingle of doubt creep up her spine. She felt like running to her car and bringing all the boxes back in. She could make it ok again, couldn't she? Just put all of the boxes back and pretend nothing had happened, pretend she was happy. He would see he was wrong; she would even talk to him about it again.

Sighing heavily, her fingers gripped onto the door handle. Would he change? Would he love her again? No. It would be useless to stay. Nothing would change. Stepping outside, the door was pulled shut behind her, the lock clicking into place far louder in her head than it was. Fierce panic raced through her. She had made a mistake. Kami, help her.

Shaking her head angrily, her mind screamed at her heart. Knowing she had to leave and feeling it were two different things.

Closing her eyes, she knew it was for the best, it was the best for her. She could not go back to that. She would not go back to that. There was no way of getting back in, and she forced herself to believe she was fine with that. She was fine with never coming back.

The words seemed hollow even to herself.

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded

Waitin' to wake up one day and find

That I've let all these years go by

Wasted

Walking around the garden for the last time, she had to stop and wish them well. Leaning down over a Lilly a smile lifted her face, her eyes taking in the beauty before her. Gently caressing the petal her lips turned dark. She would miss her garden. It had been her safe haven for so long. Promising to never forget the wonderful place, she stood to move to her car.

Settling in her car, the seat welcomed her familiar body. Quirking an eyebrow at herself, she began the search for her car keys; they were located above her, cleverly hidden in the visor. Putting the key that was attached to a smiley face key chain into the ignition, a large breath was sucked in greedily. She wanted so desperately to look back at the house she lived in for three and a half years, but knew she couldn't. She didn't want that life; it was only making her increasingly bitter.

It was turning her heart cold, and she didn't want that for herself. Feeling a slight pang in her stomach, side effects from this morning's sickness, she couldn't stop the smile. She didn't want that for her baby either. Slowly driving on the circular driveway, she didn't stop once, even as she hit the main road. Eyes never leaving the road, she refused to glance at the reflection of the now blackening house in the review mirror

She was headed to her friend's house. Smart? Not very. The smart part was that Sesshomaru didn't know who this friend of hers was. She had met her in the market one day, and they instantly became friends. She knew she could settle there for a while. Sango understood her pain. Sango would give her a free bed and a warm supper. Not desiring more than that, it was perfect. All that was known for sure about her plans was that she wasn't turning back, no, not now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SESSHOUMARU~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sesshoumaru sighed heavily as he drove up the driveway that led to his home. He had just turned off the radio after hearing the song 'Stupid Boy' be Keith Urban. It hit way too close for comfort. He knew he wasn't being the perfect fiancé, but it's how it had to be. If his fiancé didn't like it, she would have to get used to it. He was soon to be the Lord of the West. This is what needed to be done. This is how his father treated his mother, and this how he would treat his wife. She had to get her fairy tale ideals out of her head. She was going to become the Lady of the West.

Getting to the front door of his house, a clawed hand rubbed the bridge of his nose softly. It was midnight and he was so very tired. His trip had taken longer than he had expected and he had to stay an extra two nights in order to have everything prepared for the signing of the contracts. He had forgotten to call Kagome and tell her, but he figured she was fine. She always spent all her time in the stupid garden she had insisted on having. He indulged her and let her make it. It kept her busy anyways.

He put his fingers around the car key and turned off the black Mercedes. Stepping out of the car he walked towards the dark house, pressing the lock button on his keychain, a quiet beep answering his request. Reaching the door, he unlocked the deadbolt with an echoing thud. Opening the heavy wood door he stepped into the dark and soulless house. Tossing his keys onto the key holder he slowly walked to the stairs, coming to a standstill when he noticed something different. Sleep clouding his senses; he walked into the living room.

The first thing he noticed was that that horrible picture he had been forced to take was on the floor. Questioning it with his eyes, he stepped towards it. He allowed a soft smile slightly brighten his face as he looked at his fiancé. She was so gorgeous in this picture. She never smiled like that anymore. He supposed it was because of him, but that wasn't anything he could help. The questions came back once he escaped the hypnoses of the picture. "Why is this on the floor?" He asked aloud to himself. Gaze traveling up to where it should be resting, his brow furrowed.

Something was casting a shadow on the darkened wall. He reached up with his right claw and touched the shadowed object, it was round. Eyes narrowed in confusion as he took a hold of the object and let it fall into his waiting hand. Frowning, his fingers slid over the object, it felt like a ring. He walked to a lamp that sat on the coffee table and turned it on. The note innocently laid before his eyes.

Dread filled his heart and soul as he opened his hand and saw a ring. No, it wasn't just any ring. This was the ring that he gave to Kagome, his fiancé. Eyes widened a fraction as he felt the reality of the situation sink in. Arm falling to his side limply, the sound of the ring clattering to the surface of the coffee table echoed throughout the empty room.

Fear raced through his body as the sleep wore off of his now alert senses. Taking in the scent of the room, hers was stale. She, she wasn't here. She hadn't been here for five days. She left him. How did he not notice it before? The entire presence she carried was nothing but a phantom.

Sesshoumaru's heart moved a mile a minute as he crumbled to the black leather couch. Eyes became un-focused as he looked at the white folded up note, and the ring that lay forgotten beside it. He was dreading that note. He never wanted to read the words she had to say to him, not in this situation. If he read that note, his fears would be confirmed, and the fear was absurd in the first place. She wouldn't dare leave him.

Regardless of his thoughts his hand reached deftly out towards the letter. Lifting it delicately into his hand, he contemplated shredding it, but decided that wouldn't help anything. He numbly un-folded the letter and gazed down at the words written in black ink. Slowly beginning to read the words before him, he failed at bracing himself for the impact.

Dear Sesshoumaru,

I know this may seem unexpected and cruel, but I assure you that was not my intention. As I am sure you have concluded I have left. This letter is not to put the guilt on you, or to justify my actions. This letter is to simply inform and explain, if that makes any sense at all. The main reason I have left is because love is something that I cannot live without. I could not stay here any longer feeling as though you loved me not. I love you with my whole heart, but it is broken. I have no more love to offer. The reason we give our love is that we can have it returned; otherwise there is just an empty spot in your heart. You need to get love back to fill that empty spot Sesshoumaru.

We used to be so happy and in love, and now, now we are growing farther and farther apart. You used to smile at me Sesshoumaru. I mean really smile, none of that fake crap. This house used to be a home, a home where I would feel safe. Now, it is like my dungeon. The first year we were engaged was marvelous, what went wrong? Was it me? Was it you? Or worse, was it your title? I do believe it is the later. You turned cold Sesshoumaru. You blocked off your heart and wouldn't let me in. You were slowly becoming cruel as well. The way you would criticize me for my ideas, the way you said that I could do nothing. It hurt. It all tore slowly at my soul.

Then you wanted to change me. I was molded into your perfect mate. This was the last straw. Didn't you tell me that I, as myself, was your perfect mate? I am no longer myself. You always said that you loved how I was just simply myself no matter what. What changed? Why did I have to change if what you said was true? Was I not good enough? Was I not proper enough? Was I not perfect enough? What is so wrong with me that I couldn't be myself? Finally, I just couldn't take it anymore. I am sorry if I have ruined you reputation by leaving, or tarnished your honor, but it had to be done. Maybe someday you will find a woman who makes you smile even when you are a Lord. I wish so desperately that that could be me, but it can't. You will always be the man I love. I will love no other.

- Kagome

Sesshoumaru gripped the letter tightly in his right hand as he let it fall to his knee. She left, because of him. She left him, and he was at fault. Crumpling the letter in his ridged hand, he was forced to remember the first day they met.

~~~~~Four years ago~~~~~

Letting her head fall back, her laughter echoed throughout the cold space. She couldn't control it, the painting before her inspired so many emotions in her that she had no control, nor did she see any reason to have it. Smiling, her eyes inspected the painting once again, the dark aura misleading most to believe it was a depressing piece. Laughter once again made its way to her ears.

Slightly shocked at the laughter coming from the small woman at his side, he glanced towards her. Noticing the painting consuming her attention, his eyes roamed over the artwork. Not finding anything amusing about it, his eyes narrowed. It was actually a very dark piece, showing the pain and suffering of innocence. Was she trying to be insulting? Pivoting towards her, he waited for her to notice his eyes on hers. Finally giving in after several minutes, his frustrated voice broke through her happy smile. "What in Kami's name is so funny woman?"

Startled, her body reacted in the form of a squeak and a slight jump. Her cheeks heating, a smile formed on her lips once again. Looking at the tall demon before her, she gestured towards the painting. "Nothing. If you're wondering why I'm laughing, it's because of the painting. Such joy." She said softly, her eyes taking in the painting once again.

Confusion laced through his mind, he wondered if she was insane. No one could find this picture funny. The ignorance of people never stopped surprising him. "Obviously you don't know how to appreciate art, nor do you understand the meaning of this piece. It is very dark."

Tilting her head, she looked at him with humor in her eyes. "Oh? Tell me, how should I interpret this piece? Should I be wracked with misery, filled with sorrow and the darkness it seems to hold?" Smiling at the topic of their discussion, she shook her head. "No. The darkness is mistaken by most. I believe you lack understanding."

Shocked once again by the little girl, he raised an eyebrow. He felt anger course through him at the very fact she pretend to know more than he did about art. Taking a step towards her, a slight growl ran up his spine, making it to her ears. He was even more frustrated by the twinkle her eyes had when he gave her that warning. How dare she disrespect him?! His voice came out dark as asked, "Do you know who I am?"

Laughing once again, her eyes did the twinkling that bothered him so much. "Why on earth should that make a difference? We were talking about art and the meaning behind a painting, not your social status."

Forcing back another growl, he clenched his fists as his eyes snapped to the painting once again. "Enlighten me then. What is the meaning behind this piece, since you seem to know so much about it."

Smiling gently, her eyes stayed on him a moment before moving to the take in the same thing as him. "I don't know so much about it, but I know what I feel. The reason for me saying you lack understanding is because you attempted to tell me what I should feel while looking at it." Noticing his back stiffen, she let out a laugh. "Don't get defensive, it's a natural thing for people to do, even demons." She spoke the last part with a teasing tone.

Glaring at the woman at his side, he could not hold in the growl this time. Clenching his fists so tightly he almost drew his own blood, he forced out his next words. "Then what do you perceive as the meaning?"

Smiling gently, her eyes traveled the art. Taking a moment to get her thoughts in order, she began to speak, her tone soft and full of joy. "It's very peaceful. I know that when you first look at it, the sorrow and misery of the brush strokes enraptures you, but when you look deeper, that's not the feeling at all. Yes, there is sadness, sorrow and pain, but there is also so much more. The happiness of making it through all of the trials, the joy at simply still being alive is what you feel. Everyone suffers, and everyone loses their innocence, but the painter accepts that. He accepts the pain, because he knows it's the only thing he can do. He knows that the pain has made him who he is. It's about overcoming sorrow and seeing something wonderful about the fact that you survived. It celebrates strength and life. It is the embodiment of being peaceful with whom you are. Why would I find anything but joy in that?" Tilting her head towards him,

her eyes smiled.

Standing still in surprise, his eyes locked on the painting. He could see that now. He could feel the darkness still, but the acceptance of it was astounding. Looking down at this little woman, he couldn't help but chuckle. "You saw all of that at one glance?"

Blushing, she let out a beautiful laugh, her smile growing large. "I must admit that I have been to this exhibit a few times."

Chuckling at her once again, he shook his head. Reaching out a hand, his eyes softened at her. "I am Sesshomaru."

Grinning, she slid her hand into his and squeezed it gently, giving it a shake. "Kagome. Nice to meet ya."

"The pleasure is all mine. Would you like to show me the true meaning behind the rest of these paintings?" He asked, his eyes taking on the bad influence of sparkling.

Laughing once again, she nodded and slipped to his side, looping her arm through his. "Of course! I've always felt the need to educate those who lack knowledge." Giggling at his growl, she started to pull him forward.

~~~~~Present~~~~~

She was so care free and open. She was wild, and yet so pure. Even her thoughts on the pieces of art the rest of the world considered dark drastically wandered the different path, and she saw no problem with that. She didn't conform to what anyone wanted, but he had made her. He forced her to become something even he didn't want her to be. The song that he heard on the radio sounded loudly in his head.

Well she was precious like a flower

She grew wild, wild but innocent

A perfect prayer in a desperate hour

She was everything beautiful and different

Stupid boy... you can't fence that in

Stupid boy... it's like holdin' back the wind

He had fallen in love with her for who she was, not who she could be. She was perfect the way she was, and he hated himself for making her think otherwise. He promised her his love and soul, and he had betrayed her. She had given him everything he could have possibly wanted in a mate, and he ruined it. He tore her apart with the cruel coldness that he had become, hardening his heart against her and forced her to wallow in loneliness. She had loved him, and he took it for granted. He constantly told her she couldn't be anything but his mate. She must have felt so trapped, broken.

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

She never even knew she had a choice

And that's what happens when the only voice

She hears is telling her she can't

Stupid boy

Stupid boy

He had forced himself to believe that the only way he could ever be the Lord of the Western Lands was to be the strongest, he had to be the best. He had to boost himself as high as he could. He had to be the exact copy of what people thought they needed in a leader. Pushing her down to feel stronger, he knew it was wrong, and yet didn't stop. He had to control something, and he knew he could control her. He knew she loved him with her whole heart and would follow his rules. Kami, how stupid could he be?

So what made you think you could take a life

And just push it, push it around

I guess to build yourself up so high

You had to take her and break her down

Well...

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

She never even knew she had a choice

And that's what happens when the only voice

She hears is telling her she can't

Stupid boy

Stupid boy

Why did he do that to her? He loved her, he really did. She made him happy. She made him smile. She made him feel alive. Oh Kami help him. How can he fix this? He always told her she was wrong. When she was trying to help with something, he always forced her away. He just had to prove he was right with his beliefs didn't he?

You stupid boy

You always had to be right

And now you lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands

And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans

She never even knew she had a choice

And that's what happens when the only voice

She hears is telling her she can't

Stupid boy

Stupid boy

Standing stiffly from the couch, he looked around the room. It felt as if the darkness was closing in around him, and bringing the walls with it. He looked up at the stairs that led to their bedroom. For a split second he entertained the thought of this all just being an incredibly not funny joke. Shaking his head free from the ridiculous thought, the pain set it. The shock melting from him more, he fought with control. It was no joke; this was the unforgiving truth. He had forced the woman he loved to leave.

Walking up the stairs, he made his way to their bedroom. No, it was only his bedroom now. He pushed the door open and entered his now cold room. Stopping in the doorway, he just stared into the emptiness of their bed. No, it was only his bed now. She had left. How long did she feel the way she felt? How long did he make her suffer?

It took a while for her to figure out

She could run

And when she did

She was long gone, long gone

He let the pain and guilt swallow him whole and he trudged to the mirror on the far wall. Standing deftly in front of himself, he could see himself falling. Self loathing seeped from every pore of his body as he gazed into his eyes. His heart shattered more as he realized she probably felt this every day.

Shocked, he found himself shutting his eyes tightly to barricade in tears. No, he would not cry. Now was the time to be strong. Tears would fix nothing. He had lost her, no, he had let her go. He made the only one that held his heart leave. He deserved the pain, every bit of it. Growling, he turned sharply from the mirror to conceal from his own reflection the crystal that dropped from his right eye.

END!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK! So what do you all think?! I just got so inspired to write this! I had to! So please review and all the good stuff. Songs in this are 'Wasted' by Carrie Underwood and 'Stupid Boy' by Keith Urban. I do not take credit for any Inuyasha characters or these two songs. This was just edited. ^.^ It has now turned into a chapter story, so please stay with me. I love you all! -Akumi <3