Heart's Desire by Raychel

Heart's Desire

The dark of night was swiftly fading,

Close to the dawn of day,

Why would I want him just to lose him again?

- The Scarlet Tide, Alison Krauss

It was said that when you love someone, and he loves you, if you both say 'I marry you' three times, then you would be married. There was nothing anyone else could do about it, because the love was written in your souls.

XXXXXXXXXX

Deep in the depths of the wars that plagued the lands, there was a flower. Her beauty was unmatched, and she was the only woman that was not married in the small village they lived in. The number of unmarried men far outweighed the number of unmarried women. Ever since her father had died she had been forced to work alone, working the farm as though it were her own. But she didn't mind. She took everything in her stride.

She was the sun in the winter, the beauty in the darkness. Her hair, long and silky, was as dark as the crows that flew around their village, like ebony. Her eyes were like the rivers and seas of the land, deep and wild with a softness that could melt any heart if the person so wished to deny her kindness. She had the figure of an angel, and yet she never flaunted it, wrapped herself up in fabrics and clothes so that she was hidden from all eyes. For she was waiting.

Waiting for the inevitable.

She had looked down a well, once. It was supposed to tell you the future, and in it.. In the deep swirling waters she had seen her life, and something she would never forget.

Silver.

Silver glistening over a sunrise, with the moon highlighting the background. It was confusing, and she had almost fallen in and drowned, if it hadn't been for the owners catching her. She never told them what she saw, but she kept it in her memory, forever and eternity. She had never forgotten the deep imprints that image had made on her mind.

It was now winter, and the snow fell upon the ground like a blanket. A black horse rode up the path, and a large man climbed off, walking up the few snow covered stairs to reach the blue painted wooden porch. The home of young Kagome was so cold, even more so in the winter. The man lightly rapped on the door, and there was a rustle inside, before a the pattering of feet. He sighed softly, and waited. It was likely that she was trying to make something again.

Slowly, the door creaked open.

"Hello?"

"Ah. Kagome. There's been a new order by the commanders. Seeing as you live so far out I thought I'd bring it to you. You wouldn't be coming down for a few more days, would you?" The girl smiled, and stepped out from behind the door.

"You're right. Thank you, Miroku." Kagome smiled and bowed to him lightly. She was wearing a light, sky blue dress with a blanket around her shoulders to keep the cold away. She couldn't spare the firewood, not at this time. The man smiled.

"It was nothing. Sango sends this," He handed her some meat in a piece of cloth. "And her love. She misses you." Kagome frowned a little.

"I'm waiting," She replied, and Miroku sighed.

"I know." And with that he turned and left, mounting his horse as Kagome turned and shut the door behind her. Lifting up the paper in her hands, she read the writing scribed upon it neatly.

Dear fellow villagers;

I, Lord Naraku, and my dear wife Lady Kanna have found that there have been deserters being kept in hiding in many houses in our humble village, and we feel we must bring it to a close. Any person found to have kept a deserter in their homes will be shot without question. We must be loyal to king and country, dear friends. If we do not have loyalty, what do we have?

My thanks to you.

Kagome snorted.

"Loyalty? Naraku knows not of such things. He just wishes for the pleasure of killing and destroying lives. He can do nothing to me."

And so, Kagome continued to wait. She waited for when winter became spring, and spring summer, until the seasons merged into one. All her neighbours lived with the fear of being shot if they helped anyone, and Kagome just sighed. She could never turn anyone away. It was two years after she was given the paper from her old friend that her life changed. And it changed for the better, in all respects.

XXXXXXXXXX

Dark dawn rose over the mountains, and Kagome rose from her bed, the winter chills making her shiver as she pulled on her cold, dirty dress. She had not had time to wash, there was far too much to do.

Walking down the stairs and pulling on her winter coat (which was not warmed than her summer coat, to be honest), she left the house and steadily began to climb the mountain behind it, heading towards the small shack where she kept the gardening and harvesting tools. She had to go and weed the gardens ready for the coming spring, or she would not have enough to eat.

Reaching the door, hands shaking with the cold, Kagome brought out the key. As she pushed against the door to try and open it, she slipped slightly, surprised at the fact that the door opened of it's own will. Looking down at the lock, she saw that it was broken. Fear gripped her head, and slowly, Kagome pushed the door fully open. Looking around, her eyes locked with golden, tired orbs. She stared at the man, hiding away in her little shack, and her heart almost stopped beating.

"Silver.. Over a golden sunrise.." She whispered softly, her blue eyes wide with surprise and wonder. Then, looking at the mans forehead, she stumbled slightly, before placing her hand over her heart.

"Silver over a golden sunrise, with the moon gazing at me.." She whispered again, barely noticing the look the man was giving her, as if she was crazy. On his forehead, a tattoo... Of a crescent moon..

It seemed the well didn't lie to her after all!

"Is this your shack?" The sudden deep, baritone voice shattered Kagome's thoughts, and she turned to the man, nodding hesitantly. He rose, his left arm hanging limply beside him, and Kagome had to bite her lip to stop herself from rushing to try and help him. He would not want help from one such as her, would he!

"I apologise, miss. I shall leave now, I know of the rules around here and I do not wish to get you in trouble." He tried to walk past her, staggering slightly, but Kagome took hold of his right arm and helped him to sit. He was in no condition to move.

"Are you a... deserter, sir?" She asked softly, moving round him to try to look at his wounded arm, while listening intently.

"You could say that," He replied. "It's more like.. I did not wish to fight in petty civil wars any long-" He stopped with a hiss, turning his head to look down at Kagome, who had began to gently dab at his wound with a torn strip of her dress.

"Sorry, sir. We need to get this cleaned. You can stay at my home, no one ever visits me apart from Miroku, and he never comes in." The man looked at her, weary suspicion in his eyes.

"You could be shot for caring for a deserter. Why would you put yourself in such a position, miss?"

"Because if a man does not wish to kill those who are his brethren, then he should be rewarded with kindness. And please, do not call me miss, my name is Kagome."

"Very well. My name is Sesshoumaru."

"Come along then, Sesshoumaru," His name fell off his lips like a drug, and Kagome decided she wanted more. And so, allowing Sesshoumaru to rest on her shoulders, she carefully lead him back to the large house she lived in, and suddenly the rooms didn't seem as empty anymore.

XXXXXXXXXX

It was months later, and no one had even had any suspicion that Kagome was harbouring a fugitive. He lived in her house, ate her food and spoke to her daily, and no one realised. Whenever Miroku visited, he hid in the basement and Kagome told the man that she was still 'waiting.' Miroku always left with a sigh.

Bit by bit, the relationship between Kagome and Sesshoumaru deepened. Living in close quarters with someone month after month, being each others only company.. It was not a shock to either of them.

Kagome learned that Sesshoumaru could be cold and distant.

Sesshoumaru learned that Kagome was always kind and happy.

Day by day Kagome noted how handsome Sesshoumaru was when he was clean and smiling.

Day by day Sesshoumaru noted how beautiful Kagome was even when she was dirty from working in the fields.

It wasn't a shock to either when they realised they were in love. The hard part was admitting it.

Kagome was afraid that Sesshoumaru would pack his things and leave her, thinking that death was better than having her disgusting love.

Sesshoumaru was afraid that Kagome would cast him out, sending him away, unable to face the fact that such a man was in love with such a woman.

And so, they were silent, until one night where Kagome lay in bed, and Sesshoumaru came to visit her room, the one place he had never been before.

XXXXXXXXXX

"It's small, but beautiful. I like it," Kagome sat up, shocked, turning to face the voice. A half naked Sesshoumaru greeted her, making a soft blush rise on her cheeks.

"Sesshoumaru... I.. Bu-.. I mean.. What's wrong? You're normally asleep by now!" Kagome looked at him, the stutter not all from embarrassment.

"I couldn't sleep," Sesshoumaru replied truthfully. "I wondered.. Would you tell me a story? I might be able to sleep better then." The mix of teasing and innocent honesty in his voice made Kagome almost melt, and she nodded, patting the large space next to her. After her father's death she had adopted his room, redecorating, but keeping the large king sized bed. She had little money, after all. Sesshoumaru moved and sat beside her, his height almost towering over hers, even though she was sitting.

"When I was little, my mother told me that love conquered everything. Nothing could stand in it's way, not religion, not family, nothing. There was this special bond, a special truth, which couples could share. If they truly loved each other, and both knew it, then their hearts would tell them what to say.

"This story was passed down through generations and generations, until one day, a couple heart of it. The girl was a priestess, told that she could never marry, that her body should remain pure and her thoughts upon her duty. The boy was a demon, a half-demon to be precise, and he was told by everyone he met that he would never be accepted by anyone, and that everyone would hate him. One day, in the beauty of summer, they met, and something sparked.

"The demon-boy fell in love with the dark, pure beauty of the priestess, and the girl fell in love with the wild, rugged handsomeness of the half-demon. And so, secretly, they began visiting each other, under the watchful eyes of the moon they met, and on one night, the priestess told him of the story, and his eyes brightened, and he asked her if it would work for them. She nodded, and so, they began.

"The boy rose, and looking at his priestess in the eyes, he said 'I marry you' three times, and then she rose and repeated the same words, a smile in her eyes that could not be beaten. And that night, they were together and proved their love through touches and caresses. The next morning, however, their love was darkened.

"The priestess' mother had been searching for her daughter, and when she came across her daughter, naked as the day she was born, laying with an equally naked half demon, their activities obvious to her eyes, she grabbed her daughter's hair and pulled her away.." Kagome stopped, and looked up at Sesshoumaru, almost unwilling to go on with the story. Sesshoumaru looked at her, his eyes alight with what was happening, his interest never leaving the soft words falling from her lips.

"Kagome.. What happened to the priestess and her lover?" He asked softly, seeing the unwillingness in her eyes. Kagome turned to face him, her emotions laid bare to him. He thought he saw something deep in her sea-like orbs, but it was blinked away.

"The priestess was killed for her betrayal of her duty, her throat cut with the knife that was meant to protect her. The half-demon was castrated, and then beheaded for such a crime against the village as to deflower their purity. None knew the bond between the two, the marriage that they both held secretly to their hearts. Later, the village was swept with burning flames, and when everyone was gone, every item burned, a soft flood fell over, washing away the fire and the remains. It was believed that the half-demon punished them for their actions with fiery hatred, while the priestess forgave them with calm water," Kagome shrugged. "I don't know." She sighed, and turned away from Sesshoumaru.

"I wonder," He said softly. "Would it work for me, Kagome? If I asked the woman I love such a thing, would she believe in those traditions, or would she believe them to be lies and hate me?"

Kagome's heart broke so much at that moment, she feared that he might hear it and question her.

"I do not know, Sesshoumaru. Some women do not understand true love. I also hope that the man I love believes in fairy-tales, for my life is based on one," Sesshoumaru turned away, hoping that she didn't see the pain in her eyes.

"And who is this person that you love, Kagome? You never leave the house, how can you know enough about a man to love him, unless it is Miroku you are infatuated with..?" Kagome whirled to face him, her hair gently slapping her face.

"Never! Miroku is married, and I do not think of him like that. Perhaps the man I love is only in my dreams, for it would never happen in reality."

"How do you know, Kagome? I love my woman but I pray that it would happen, and I know at some point she will fall for me as well! She is everything I have ever wanted, and I-"

"I don't want to hear about her, Sesshoumaru! I don't want to hear about how perfect the woman you love is when I love you so much! It's killing me, so stop doing this to me!" Hearing what she just said, Kagome covered her mouth and turned away. Here it comes, she told herself. He will reject her and leave, just like she always imagined. He stared at her, stunned, before climbing closer to her on the bed, and whispering in her ear.

"I marry you, Kagome." At that, her heart stopped and she turned to face him.

"You.. Marry me? I thought.. But.. That woman.." Kagome was stuttering again, and she froze when Sesshoumaru put a finger over her lips, and smiled that heart-stopping smile of his.

"That woman was you, Kagome. I was afraid," He admitted. "I thought if I told you that you would be disgusted by me, and hate me, making me leave.." He looked at her, his golden eyes shimmering at her.

"Do you remember the first thing I ever said to you?" Kagome asked, gazing at him.

"Yes. Silver over a golden sunrise.. I believe." Kagome nodded.

"Before this war started, I looked into this well. It was supposed to tell us our future, but all I saw was sunrise in a silver river. And I know.. I saw you..." She ran her hand through his silver hair and sighed, while he leant into her touch, enjoying it.

"Kagome..?" He asked lightly. "Would you marry me, even though I am a man who is to die?"

Kagome looked up at him, and flung her arms around his neck, pulling herself close to him.

"I marry you, Sesshoumaru. I marry you, I marry you, I marry you a million times over, no matter what the future holds. I marry you.." And he leant down, and captured her lips with his, pressing against her with all the passion in the world. Pulling away, he looked down at her, a small red blush decorating her cheeks.

"I marry you, Kagome Higurashi, I marry you, I marry you, I marry you..."

And though he did not have a ring to give her, and she was not wearing a flowing dress of white, they were married in that moment, holding each other. And as Sesshoumaru leant down, kissing her lips of sweet innocence, her knew that there was no other place for him. She pulled away, and looked at him, a blush on her cheeks.

"We do not have to consummate it now," He told her, a devilish smirk on his lips as he gazed down at her flushed face. She shook her head and looked away for a moment.

"No.. I want to, truly... Would you look away for a moment?" She asked, fiddling with the buttons on her long nightgown. Sesshoumaru looked at her for a moment, before shaking his head.

"I shall not," And then his hand reached out, pushing hers away. One by one he slowly undid the buttons until the nightdress slid off her figure, leaving only the long winding cloth that bound her breasts. Sesshoumaru looked at her, heat burning in his eyes, as her sapphire orbs gazed at the moon on his forehead, not daring to look into his eyes.

"I want you, Kagome," He told her softly. "My darling wife," His eyes gleamed at the words. She blushed, and her hands reached behind her to untie the knot that held the cloth around her. Taking it from her hand, Sesshoumaru slowly removed the strips of cloth, allowing them to fall from his fingers to the floor. Leaning in, he kissed Kagome gently on the lips.

The blush that had been blooming on her face again was forced away as passion almost drowned her innocent mind. Her hands reached out and touched him lightly on the chest, feeling the hard muscles that he had built when fighting in that stupid civil war. When his mouth left hers, she moaned softly in disappointment until those wonderful soft lips began to kiss her neck. She sighed softly, and her hands moved to run through his hair, the strands falling from her fingers like water.

Slowly, he lowered her down so that she lay on the bed, her eyes looking up at him with awe and adoration. Sesshoumaru's heart skipped a beat at that moment, and he smiled, before beginning to kiss down her neck to her chest, his hands rising from her stomach to join him in his exploration. Kagome gasped when he delicately kissed her right breast, then her left, silently praising them, layering them with love and care.

His eyes locked with hers, and slowly, painfully slowly, he kissed his way to the now hard rosy bud, and then sucked it into his mouth, his hand teasing it's twin with skilled fingers. Kagome's eyes flew open, and her breaths, at first soft and almost silent, became hard and ragged. What he was doing to her.. It was pure torture to her young, innocent body.

As he pulled away from her, moving to kiss down his stomach, Kagome decided that this really wasn't fair. It was not right that he could torture her so wonderfully without her being able to do the same to him. Carefully cupping his chin and pulling him back up to that they were face to face, she gave him and gentle kiss. When she knew that he was too preoccupied to understand what she might do, she pressed against him and pushed, forcing him onto his back. Now Kagome was straddling him, and she was enjoying the small amount of dominance she had over him.

Slowly, she began to torture him in the same way he had her, but adding her own feminine touch. As she kissed down his neck she allowed her tongue to taste him, and she quickly became addicted. After each kiss she blew softly, and revelled in the small shivers he would give off. Moving down so that she was face to face with his chest, still kissing softly and tenderly, she began to wonder. Would what he did to her work for him? Slowly, oh so slowly, she moved her lips over to his nipple and sucked it into her mouth, nipping it every now and then. The groan he gave of, load and lustful, encouraged her more than anything.

When a girl runs on instinct, the only way she can tell her partner likes her actions is by his reactions.

Pulling her lips away, she kissed down to his naval, where the trousers he wore to bed reached. She slid her fingers under them, slowly going down until she noted that Sesshoumaru looked like he might cry. Moving her hands to the side, she carefully began to slide them down, over his straining erection and off his legs. When her hand moved up his leg, on the inside of his thigh, so close to the burning point in his body, Sesshoumaru decided he had had enough. Lifting her up by her under arms, he placed her on the bed and moved so that he was above her.

He kissed her lips, unknowingly bruising them with his passion, and readied himself, gazing deep within her eyes.

"It will hurt," He told her softly, his breath shallow. Kagome smiled.

"I know. But I can suffer it, for you," And with that, he kissed her again, and slowly began to slide within her.

At that moment, it wasn't about the passion. It wasn't about the feelings or the sex or anything. At that moment, all they could feel was love, and tenderness, and even when Kagome felt that drowning pain, making her want to cry out, bringing tears to her eyes, the love overwhelmed her, bringing her to heights she had never felt before.

When he was sure her pain was gone, and the tears were clear from her eyes, Sesshoumaru began to move, slowly and painfully, the tightness of her body making him groan, and the feeling of him within her making her moan softly.

All through the night they merged together, Husband and Wife, until the morning birds cried in their trees, awaking the sleeping couple.

It was a knock at the door that made Kagome jump, and moving to the window she looked out. There, below her, was Lord Naraku and his group of seven men. It was obvious why he was here - here for Sesshoumaru. She ran to his side and shook him out of his drowsiness.

"Sesshoumaru, get changed quickly and get out the back, please! Naraku is here and he will kill you!" Seeing the fear in his woman's eyes, Sesshoumaru didn't hesitate for a second and followed her orders as she dressed and rushed down the stairs. Opening the door, she locked eyes with Lord Naraku himself.

"Ah, Kagome dear," He said softly, malice dripping from his words. "We have news that there is a deserter in your residence."

"There is no such thing!" Kagome said, standing her ground. "I would never do such a thing and not inform you, Lord, you know it. I am a reclusive person, what need do I have for company such as a deserter?"

"Well," Naraku told her. "You will not object to my men searching the house, will you?" Kagome shook her head shakily, hoping that Sesshoumaru would be as far away as possible. Pushing Kagome aside, the leader of the men, Bankoutsu, gestured to his comrades to search different places.

As the men began searching, Sesshoumaru was already out behind the house, behind a tree, waiting for Kagome to tell him it was safe. He was worried for her, for those men were not one to leave a woman alone, especially one of such beauty as Kagome. But he waited, and he prayed that she would be safe.

Back at the house, Kagome was sitting nervously in the main room, Naraku watching her with a careful knowing gaze. Suddenly, one of the men (Jakoutsu, if Kagome remembered correctly), came in with something in his hand.

"Sir," He said coldly. "Upon entering one of the guestrooms I found this, sir," Kagome saw a pair of Sesshoumaru's trousers, the pair he had worn when she first met him, fly through the air into Naraku's grasp. He turned his dark eyes to her once more.

"So, Kagome, will you admit where this man is now that we know he was here?"

"Never!" She cried, and a resounding slap echoed through the house. Kagome felt cold steel against her neck and the sharp sting of a slap on her cheeks. As she looked up defiantly at Naraku, he pressed the knife into her throat, making her scream as it cut a little too deep. The scream echoed around the mountain.

Outside, Sesshoumaru heard it, and was filled with rage. He would not let it happen! He would not let his wife die so that he may live! Grapping his pistol from his bag, he rushed back into the house, armed and ready. Slowly he crept through the house, until one by one, six of the seven who had came with Naraku were dead. Sesshoumaru felt no regret. Climbing down the stairs, he entered the main room and carelessly shot Jakoutsu dead. The body fell to the floor, bleeding from the head. Naraku turned to face him, eyes blazing in anger, and Kagome looked at him with fear and hope.

"Let her go, bastard," He cried, holding the gun up, pointing directly at Naraku's head. The man backed away, and turned to face Sesshoumaru head on.

"Clever, Kagome. Hid him in the woods, I presume. He is a fine one, I can see why," Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes.

"Leave now, never come back, and I might spare your life." He told him, his voice cold and full of anger and hatred.

"Very well," Naraku said softly, and walked outside where his horse was waiting. As he reached the door, he turned back to face the couple. "I will return though, and with an army to kill you and your whore!" The man ran outside, and swiftly mounted his horse, preparing to ride to the village and warn everyone. Sesshoumaru growled and followed, mounting one of the dead men's horses and following the bastard.

After pushing his stallion to the limits of a horse, Sesshoumaru caught up with Naraku, scratches from nearby trees leaving small specks of blood on his face. Almost at the same time, both men slowed down, their horses walking side by side, though they were feet apart in the forests, trees blocking their sights every now and then.

"So, you love her?" Naraku asked with a sneer. Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes.

"It is of no concern to you." He said, and lifted his pistol. Naraku pulled his out, and aimed it at Sesshoumaru.

"So it comes down to this, then?" He asked. "One on one.. I wonder who shall win?"

Gunshots echoed around the forest.

XXXXXXXXXX

Kagome cried out at hearing the noise, and pushed against the door, feeling weak from the loss of blood, the wound on her neck utterly painful. She rushed outside and fell to her hands and knees, the white snow around her staining red with her blood. Looking up, she saw a figure staggering towards her in the distance.

"Sess.. Sesshoumaru?" She called, slowly rising to her feet and walking forward. She could hardly see, but as the figure neared she could see that it was her dearest love, and she rushed towards him, as swiftly as she could. He fell to his knees before her, and then she could see the wound on his chest, bleeding more blood than she had ever seen in her life.

"Sesshoumaru!" She cried, kneeling beside him as his body slumped into the ground. Her blood stained hand cupped his cheek, and tears gathered in her eyes.

"There is no need to fear," He told her, coughing up blood. "Naraku.. Is dead. I shot him myself, and his foul blood darkens the pure snow.."

"Please, Sesshoumaru," Kagome cried. "Don't leave me, not when we only just found each other.. I need you!" A soft, pain filled smile crossed his face.

"Never forget, Kagome," He told her. "The memories we share are like a bag of diamonds, each one precious and beautiful. Never forget me, no matter what. Promise?" Kagome sniffed, tears flowing like a waterfall down her face, and she leant down to kiss his cold lips.

"I promise, Sesshoumaru. I swear.."

And in that moment, two lives were broken, but another was made. Sesshoumaru had died that day, defending the woman he loved for the darkness of life, and Kagome never forgot, just like she had promised.

Years later, summer bloomed, and Kagome walked out of her house, a soft smile on her face. She walked out behind her large home, flowers in her hands, her footsteps echoing quietly behind her. She came to a stone, a grave that held so many memories, with lilies, old and frail, resting before it. Moving the dead flowers, Kagome replaced them with the new ones she had brought, and knelt before it.

"Mama?" The woman turned, and smiled at the little girl behind her, before holding out her hand. The child grinned, and took her mothers hand, coming to sit beside the elder woman on the grass.

"Is this papa?" The girl asked, and Kagome's smile fell a little.

"Yes, Rin, this is papa." She told her daughter.

"What happened to papa then? Why isn't he here with mama and Rin? Kohaku's papa is with his mama!" Kagome sighed and turned to her daughter.

"Your father.. He died for us, Rin. So that we could live and be happy."

"Really, mama? Papa did that for Rin?"

"Yes, though he didn't know at the time he would have such a wonderful daughter."

"He didn't?"

"No, he didn't my darling."

"Rin wishes papa had known about Rin. Rin also wishes she could meet her papa," Kagome smiled, and a soft gust of wind, wind filled with love and sadness brushed her hair from her face, and she smiled.

"You'll meet him one day Rin, don't worry."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Now we had better get you home, you must be hungry!" Rin smiled.

"Rin is hungry, mama! Rin will race you back!" Watching as her daughter ran back to the house, her bare feet grazing across the grass, Kagome smiled, and put her hand over her heart.

It wasn't hard for her to remember the memories she had of Sesshoumaru, because she had Rin to remind her of him every day, and the seasons to bring her happiness.

Slowly, Kagome began to wander back to the life she had built with her daughter, the memories of her Sesshoumaru forever encased in her mind.