This Miko Belongs To… If Found Please Return by SunsetMiko

Oneshot

I do not own Inuyasha and Company, no matter how happy it would make me. Rumiko Takahashi does.

Written for Inuyasha Comedy Club's Week 1 Situational Prompt

He had to determine the cause of that strange sound. It was similar to the buzzing of insects but his delicate hearing knew better. He'd left Rin and Ah Un to guard Jaken just in case what he was approaching was dangerous. Not dangerous to him of course. Nothing was dangerous to him, but Jaken was a different story. If the foolish toad had picked up on the sound he would undoubtedly have gone running after it, eyes wide and trailing long disgusting strings of drool. The human child had more sense than his vassal and all she did was pick flowers all day. He refused to save Jaken from what he believed to be lunch when it turned out it wasn't quite what he expected.

He was close now and Sesshoumaru slowed, looking ahead cautiously. When he reached the edge of the clearing containing a hot spring he stopped dead. There sitting on the edge was a completely naked woman, his idiot brother's wench. Sure, she was alright to look at, but that wasn't what caught his attention. She had what looked like strings twining through her hair and her head bobbed to the almost imperceptible beat of some strange music that seemed to be coming directly from her ears. The oddity of sound coming out of her ears instead of going in also wasn't what interested him. No, it was the small black device she held in her hand.

It was the source of the sound and though he'd now determined it to be obviously harmless, he didn't walk away. What she was doing with it was too interesting to ignore. She still hadn't noticed his presence so he moved closer. She appeared to be removing the patch of soft looking black curls that decorated her lady bits and he frowned, wondering why she would do something so odd. The hair was a sign of her womanhood, was it not? Deciding he required answers he used his demon speed to snatch the vibrating device from her hand.

Kagome screeched as she realized that she had a very unwelcome audience, ripping the earbuds from her ears and dropping her mp3 player to the ground as she jumped up. "What the hell, Sesshoumaru?! I didn't think you were such a pervert!"

His eyes narrowed at her in warning and then looked her up and down, drawing her attention to her current state of very, very naked. She grabbed a towel but he ripped it from her hand and tossed it over his shoulder. If he was going to talk to her she might as well keep him entertained. "You will explain this device to this Sesshoumaru."

"It's a hair trimmer! Why do you care?" she growled while trying to cover as much of herself as possible, finally deciding to protect the breasts because he'd obvious already gotten a good look at the southern half.

"Why would you desire to trim your hair in that particular location?" he asked, gesturing toward her now lopsided bush.

"Because I want to! It looks nicer."

"You think looking like a child is attractive?" he asked, a hint of disbelief sneaking into his tone. His hand was beginning to get numb from the strong vibrations of the thing in his hand and he frowned.

"Why do you care what I do with my own pubes?" She watched as Sesshoumaru blinked in confusion. Apparently 'pubes' wasn't a popular term in the feudal era. "Besides, I don't cut it all off, just trim it." Kagome grew worried as a smirk pulled at his lips. His lips turned even the slightest bit upward was enough to cause an entire army of demons to turn their weapons on themselves rather than face him in battle.

"You are crooked."

"Well thank you Captain Obvious! If someone hadn't snatched the damn trimmer out of my hand I would be done now and you wouldn't be killing my batteries! Now give it back!"

"No."

"No?"

"No. This Sesshoumaru wishes to see how this 'trimmer' works."

"Ya think I could finish mine first? Then you can go shave yours in whatever shape you want."

His smirk widened. "This Sesshoumaru will test it on you."

Kagome's eyes widened and she started to protest but soon her shoulders slumped. She knew she only had two choices. Have crooked pubes until Inuyasha let her go home again, and she'd just been the day before so it could be weeks, and risk pissing off the Aristocratic Assassin or she could let the most powerful demon in Japan play gardener. She sighed and sat on a convenient rock, spreading her legs enough to allow him workspace and then determinedly stared into the forest, trying to pretend Sesshoumaru wasn't between her legs, something quite difficult she soon discovered. At least it was quick and when he declared he was finished she quickly pulled on her clothes while explaining how to turn the trimmer on and off before she nearly ran out of the clearing and back to camp.

Sesshoumaru smirked. Not only did he gain a most interesting device, the miko hadn't even bothered to check his work. He couldn't wait...

-

Later that night Kagome moaned softly as Inuyasha crawled his way up her body, kissing and licking as he went. He ran his fingers through the short black hair and smiled. He loved it when she trimmed, especially when she made special shapes for him. It was like she was marking her body as his property and it never failed to stroke his ego. He threw the covers off, eager to see what her latest creation was.

"What the FUCK?!?" Inuyasha screamed, the sound echoing through the silent forest.

From where he sat over a mile away watching over his pack as they slept Sesshoumaru smirked. His little brother had finally discovered his gift. He wished he could be there to hear her explain just how she ended up with a crescent moon there.