From Inside a Window by Ko Torii

One day, but not today.

AN: This one-shot was a thought that struck me and wouldn't go away until I wrote it down.

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From inside a window, to those with withered hearts, the rain falls only for them. The pounding drops form rivulets down dark, lonely walkways; sucked up into the ground and through drain grates. The rain comes to be pulled away again. It falls only for them.

Each drop is a heavenly tear of sympathy for those in pain, for those in need. Those greater beings who first terrorized your life cry for you as each minute passes. The torrent of emotion can rip through stone and metal or breathe life into the world. Every moment it falls, it always falls only for them.

As he entered the room the young man muttered. Not quite as patiently as he usually would in this situation.

"One day you'll have to leave this place."

After all how patient could he be when he went through this conversation almost once a week?

A morose being, looking blankly out towards the rain and while not really seeing anything, replied in a softer tone.

"One day you'll have to realize, that I'll never leave here."

After breathing in a deep, soul searching sigh the younger man moved forward towards the window.

"She wouldn't want this for you. No one does."

"She isn't here anymore, and that is why I stay. I shouldn't be anywhere else."

"You just can't forgive yourself can you? It's pathetic really, that everyone can forgive you for what you did, except for yourself."

For a moment his vision looked cloudy. It was evident that the rain wasn't what he was really seeing anymore.

"You don't know everything that went on. Some things even I can't handle remembering."

"What? What happened? We can't help if you don't tell us!"

Abruptly his vision directed itself once more toward the outside downpour.

"Nothing you will ever find out about."

"Damn it! Why do you do this?!"

"It's all I can do now, now that she is gone."

"Sesshoumaru I..."

"You haven't called me that for many years now Inuyasha."

"Yeah, well. Sometimes it seems like you aren't really Sesshoumaru anymore."

"So it would seem."

Realizing that Sesshoumaru was finished speaking for a time, Inuyasha sulkily moved out of the desolate room. He couldn't understand how Sesshoumaru survived living inside of that place for so long. It was after all only an very old hut beneath a very old tree.

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Two weeks later

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"You know the rain is gonna stop soon. I hear spring is really comin' around."

"I can only hope otherwise."

"How long are you gonna wait for her Sesshoumaru?"

"As long as I have to. You already knew that Inuyasha, so why do you ask?"

"It should be soon, ya know."

"Not soon enough for me. There are things that need to be said."

"She won't have a clue what you're talking about if you try to talk to her. You two haven't even met yet."

"I think deep down, we knew each other long before we ever met. I can only hope that she realizes it."

"If she doesn't?"

"Then I will wait."

"For what, exactly? This is your last chance Sesshoumaru, you know that as well as the rest of us."

"The rest? There is no one outside of this room to me anymore except for her, Inuyasha. The moment you leave I will continue to go on that way."

"Well that makes me feel real special, thanks."

"It is only the truth. I see no reason to lie, it has brought little to nothing positive into my life."

"Yeah well, if it helps to get you out of this funk even I will deal with your crap for a while."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, I know where Kagome is, and I know that she won't..."

Inuyasha didn't get the chance to finish his statement due to a strong hand pushing him into the old peeling wall, via his neck.

"Where?"

"Shhgg....augh..." Speaking was very difficult when one couldn't speak.

"I'll let you live if you tell me."

"Kayy...gruugh..."

"Speak. Do it quickly."

"Jesus Sesshoumaru! If you'd listen I would've told you! She's in high school now, she should be going through in just under a month."

"I need to go see her now, where is she exactly?"

"Damn it you know you can't go now. Give her time. She won't be ready for almost four more years!"

"What do expect me to do then?"

"Just do what you've always been doing. Just wait."

"I'd wait forever if I had to, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

"Did you love her Sesshoumaru?"

"No."

"Not once?"

"Really, Inuyasha I never did. It was never like that for either of us."

"Then why would you go through all of this."

"It's what she would've done for me Inuyasha. She cared without cause and never regretted it. I owe her at least this courtesy."

"This courtesy has taken almost 500 years of your life to even begin! How can it be an equal trade?!"

"It is all I have to offer her for...for what has been done."

"What could she have possibly done, or better yet, what did you do to her for this to happen? Why won't you tell us?"

"What's done is done Inuyasha. Talking about it won't change the matter."

"Please. Just tell me, she never would."

"She...I don't know how to even begin what she did for me."

"Try then. I won't give up on this one, you know that."

"Kagome, she returned something to me I had not remembered losing."

"What was it? Your heart?"

They both took a moment to scoff at this. Knowing that Sesshoumaru never cared whether he had a heart or not.

"Not quite, I had, without my knowledge lost one of the most powerful gifts in my possession."

"You're just dragging this out now Sesshoumaru."

"Perhaps, but it wasn't my most glorious of moments to find all of this out either."

"So?"

"I had lost sight of, well, one very important goal. To outdo father wasn't it, even regaining Tetsusaiga wasn't my vision of greatness. No, it was simply to be remembered and respected. I had lost that, long ago. Now thinking back on it, I realize how horribly thickheaded I had been. In my eyes to be respected was to acknowledge the power of others over myself, which we all know I wasn't capable of. Kagome gave me back my humility, and I had become if not a better leader, a stronger one."

"That's all? She made you a better leader....that is what you can't forgive yourself for?!"

"Hmm. Not the most astute response Inuyasha. However, being ignorant in the way that you are I will pardon you."

"You arrogant bastard. You're just the same as you always were."

"Isn't it pleasing to see how some things never change?"

"Not really."

"Hmm."

"Well?"

"What are you referring to?"

"Finish your story. Don't think I didn't notice that switch of topics just because I'm younger than you!"

"I would never believe such trivial things; you simply missed the switch because you are of lesser intellectual skill than myself."

"Oh come off it Sesshoumaru, and finish up. I want to get home soon."

"How is your wife then Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha took a moment to smirk.

"She's pregnant again."

"Congratulations, how many is that now?"

"Four. Five if she has twins again."

"I see. She still hasn't gotten sick of you yet? What a strong willed woman, sounds perfect for you."

"Yeah she really is. She even feels bad for you, and everyone knows how awful that can be for their health."

Sesshoumaru had the grace to form a small chuckle.

"Yes, I would have to believe it is."

After a few comfortably drawn out moments Inuyasha picked up on their original conversation.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened with Kagome?"

"Will you ever tell me where she is?"

"When the time is right."

"Only then will I tell you. Perhaps only then I will be able to."

"One day you'll have to leave this place."

"One day Inuyasha, but not today."

As Sesshoumaru turned back to gaze into the skies rainy depths a lovely sight came into his vision. It was a softly fading rainbow. It reminded him of her smiles, soft and gentle; with a sparkle all their own. The rain was like his penance, the sun shone as her forgiveness. Forgiveness he felt he could never deserve.

"The sun is coming out Sesshoumaru."

"I can only hope you're wrong Inuyasha, I can only hope you're wrong."

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