Honey, I'm Gay by Kai

Chapter 1

Honey, I'm Gay

Chapter 1

x

x

It’s always hard when you have a kid.

Unless, of course, you have a second parent-like figure to help you.

My situation, however, was a bit…well—unique.

When I was sixteen, imprudent and a mere child, I feel in love with my best friend, Bankotsu. We did everything together. My first kiss was on a double date with him. The first time I ever got drunk, he was there to comfort me. The time I wanted to get a tattoo but chickened out, he didn’t judge me.

I guess you could say I’ve always loved him.

I didn’t like seeing him with girls, starting my sophomore year. All my friends knew I loved him but I didn’t want to admit it to myself.

Not then, anyways.

His graduation came quickly, me being a junior—a very young one at that—and him off to study in Fashion. I guess that should have been my first clue he was gay.

That night, my mother allowed me to spend the night at his house, knowing we wouldn’t do anything because we were practically brother and sister. I believed that as well until things started to heat up.

I, being the idiot I usually am, decided to tell him my feelings. And he, the ‘player’ he was, decided to take my virginity.

I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. Because he did let me stay with him in his apartment until my daughter was two years old. At that point, he told me he was gay. Well, he didn’t exactly tell me—it’s more like I found him making out with a guy on our couch. I wasn’t hurt as bad as I thought I would be.

At least it wasn’t another girl.

My daughter is now five and I am twenty-one, living off the money I make by working at a high-class restaurant as a waitress, part time while Bankotsu works for a popular clothing store full time. He gave up his dreams to go to LA when I got pregnant. That much, I feel horrible about.

But then again, I gave up my dreams as well.

x

x

“Rin, sweetheart, don’t play on those. They’re dangerous,” I called from where I sat, indulging myself in one of my most favorite romantic novels and listening to—dare I say it—my Ipod. The song, 45 byShinedown thrummed through my ears.

Rin nodded, staying away from the monkey bars.

She had grown up like me—weak in the arms, strong in the legs. I just didn’t want her to end up falling and scraping herself up.

I sighed, looking at all the other mothers surrounding me. They were all probably in their thirties or even forties while I was only twenty one. Just old enough to drink.

Not that I would be going to any bars any time soon.

I never regretted keeping Rin. I mean, I could have been like all the other teenage mothers and given her up to the first ‘good’ adoptive parents recommended without even getting to hold her for more than ten minutes. I just don’t think—if that had been the case—I could have gone through with it.

Sure, I missed out on a lot of things. Everywhere I went I would have to bring Rin. My friends understood—well, some of them. Sango, Eri, Ayumi, Ayame, and Yuka were the only ones that stuck with me through the tough years. I remember that they were there when I first tried to change Rin’s diaper. Oh what a day that had been. We all look back and laugh at it now.

Sango still comes over sometimes with her boyfriend, Miroku, whom she met in college. I sighed once more.

I had really hoped to go to college. When I was sixteen, I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life but I was quite interested in the field of journalism. Now, that is all history.

“Kagome?”

The deep voice I had come to know over the years broke me from my trip down memory lane. I smiled before turning around.

“Bankotsu, hey!” I squealed childishly, jumping up to give him a hug. He was still my best friend despite the things we had been through. “Where have you been lately?” I didn’t see him as much as I would have liked to. Though I wanted Rin to live with both her parents, she knew of the situation—even at such a young age she understood and accepted the fact her father like men better than women. She was very mature in certain aspects of life—and didn’t ask many questions as to why her father lived a few blocks away from us.

“Here and there,” he answered with a smile. “So how are you and Rin?”

“We’re great,” I said with a grin. “And I got your check last week. Sango dropped it by.”

“Okay good,” he said, searching the play area for our daughter.

“Let me call her over,” I said. “Rin!” I yelled, my eyes following her as she stopped from running with the other children. “Come say hello to Daddy!”

My loud command had gotten the attention of one of the other parents sitting nearby. She looked at me and frowned, pity in her eyes. I rolled my eyes. Really, some people could be so judgmental.

I mean, for all they knew, I was her sister.

Okay so that was stupid. She resembled Bankotsu and I, greatly.

Rin gave the biggest, toothiest grin I had ever seen and galloped forward into her father’s awaiting arms. He wrapped her up, in what Rin would like to call, a ‘gidinosaurous’ hug.

“Daddy!” she squealed though it was muffled by the fact her mouth was pressed against his shoulder.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. “How’s my little princess?”

They were so cute together.

She bounced up and down in his arms. “Good!”

“I’m glad to hear it. Now let’s give mommy our sad puppy faces and see if she’ll let us go shopping,” he whispered in her ear. I gave him an I-can-totally-hear-you-you-imbecile look.

I decided to play along though since Rin giggled and nodded, sticking out her bottom lip in a plea. It was just so hard to resist.

“Can we go shopping, Mommy?” both Bankotsu and Rin asked in unison.

I sighed, laughing. “I knew it. I knew you were going to ask me that.”

“Please, Kaggie?” Bankotsu begged. How could I turn them down?

I looked at my daughter and then at my best friend. “All right but don’t max out daddy’s credit card,” I said to Rin, flicking her nose with a smile.

“Oh puh-lease. I have plenty of credit cards! She can max out how ever many she wants!”

“Oh boy,” I muttered under my breath with a laugh.

x

x

“Hi mom,” I called, walking into my old home. I had missed it so much, seeing as I hadn’t visited in practically forever. My mother walked out from the kitchen, a big grin on her face.

“My dear,” she said, hugging me. “Where’s Rin?”

I smiled. Typical mother for you. I was just lucky to get her as my mother when I found out I was pregnant. Of course, she wasn’t happy about it at all but as time passed, she forgave me and now can’t get enough of my daughter.

“With Bankotsu, shopping. I swear, he can be more of a girl than I can.”

My mother gave me a sympathetic smile. “He is gay, dear.”

I nodded. “It’s a shame, too.”

I followed her into the kitchen, the aroma of pork cutlet and rice reaching my nose. Yummy, I thought, licking my lips. “Where’s Souta?” I asked, wondering where my little brother could have gone off.

I mean, he’s really not the type to just get up and leave.

“With Kim. She’s such a sweet girl,” my mother answered.

I could agree with her on that. Kim really was a sweet girl and perfect for my bother. He needed someone to whip him into shape.

I picked at an apple on the table. “How long have they been together?”

“Um…” my mother began, stirring the soup off to the side. I hadn’t even noticed the miso until that question slipped from my lips. “Two months, I believe.”

“Aw,” I said, taking a bite of the apple.

“Yes, yes. Now wash your hands. Dinner is almost ready.”

“Geez,” I said, cracking a smile. “You act as if I’m still a kid.”

My mother rolled her eyes. “You are still a child.”

x

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After dinner at my mother’s I had gone by the restaurant I worked at to visit Sango. Though we worked at the same place, out shifts were very scattered and different. I walked through the door and instantly wished I hadn’t. My boss had a stressed look on her face and even she—and she never did—was serving the tables.

Sango was rushing about, her eyes heavy and her writing sloppy from what I could see. I could tell she wasn’t getting enough sleep.

But then again, I hadn’t exactly talked to her for a few weeks since I was busy with Rin and my job.

I scoffed.

Some relationships I have.

“Can I help you?” the woman standing at the podium asked.

I watched as Sango began talking with one of the male servers, nodded, gave him a hug and then made her way to the back where all of us like to hang out when there aren’t any customers. My best guess was that he offered to give her a bit of a break.

“Um…no, I’m just here to talk to Sango.”

“Oh. The waitress? Well, I’m not supposed to let anyone go back there…” she said, tucking a piece of auburn hair behind her ear.

“I work here.”

“Oh. Really?”

Ugh, I thought. “Can I just—can I please go see her…It’s an emergency,” I lied, putting on my best anxious face.

I didn’t wait for her answer and went past anyway. There was no way I could get in trouble because as I’ve explained, I work here. That and the boss absolutely adores me. So I made my way to the back, ignoring the interesting looks I got from other workers.

“Sangoo,” I said in a singsong voice as I entered the room.

Her head snapped up and a smile instantly replaced her bushed expression.

“Hey Kags.” She got up and wrapped me in a hug. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in forever.”

Just as I was about to answer, my phone beat me to it. “Hold on,” I said, taking out the whining contraption. I rolled my eyes when I saw it was Bankotsu.

“Hello?”

“Kagome…” his breath was heavy as if he had been running. “She—I can’t…find her.”

“…Who?” I asked, hoping to god he wasn’t talking about whom I thought he was talking about.

He inhaled. “Rin…”