Crestfallen by thetroll

Chapter 1

The tombstone is the only visible proof of her loss.

Ichika. Their only daughter.

Yet her influence is everywhere: the favorite toys they cannot bring themselves to throw away, the closet full of only pink and yellow clothes because that was all she would ever wear, the photographs of the happier moments—Ichika is everywhere and nowhere at all.

Kagome buries her face in Sesshomaru's chest, sobbing in his arms, but all Sesshomaru can do is hold his mate to him. He has failed in every way, as a father, as a protector, as a provider. He may be the most powerful daiyokai to ever live, but what use is such power to him if it could not save their little girl?

"She should be here," Kagome manages, her voice broken. "I wish it was me. I wish it was me."

Sesshomaru drops his face into her shoulder in silent agreement. He would have gladly cleaved off his own arm again if it would have saved their child, but nothing, not even modern medicine, had been able to cure her illness.

Ichika is gone.

"It wasn't supposed to happen." Kagome's hands clench in the fabric of his expensive tuxedo. The last time he'd worn this outfit, it had been at a special father-daughter outing where he'd taken Ichika to her first high-class restaurant as a treat for her last big exam.

She would never take another exa, he realizes, pain lancing his heart.

"She was supposed to make it. Her prognosis was good. She was doing better." Kagome crumples and it's only his quick reflexes that keep her from falling. "I failed her, Sesshomaru. I spent all those years learning with Kaede and for what? I couldn't save her."

Neither could he. His fangs proved useless. They would have only returned Ichika as she was, allowing her to suffer longer before the end. "It is I who have failed you both," he murmurs, accepting it. If he had not, perhaps Ichika would have still been here.

Kagome pulls from him, reaching out to touch the engraved name on the stone. "Maybe this is our punishment," she whispers, more tears flowing. "My karma for Kikyo's life has finally been paid."

What can he say to that? If there are sins that require payment, his own far exceeds hers. He had slayed without care, without concern, without fear, prior to the changes she had brought to his life. The debt is his and his alone, yet Ichika is the one who has died.

Do they allow hanyo into heaven, he wonders as he stares up at the sky. 

"Why did she have to die?" Kagome's wail is all-consuming then as she collapses to the ground.

Sesshomaru has no answer to the question as he follows her, allowing her to scream and wail for them both.

It does little to fill the aches in their hearts, but it is all they can do.

Ichika is gone.