Leaf Me Alone by thetroll

Chapter 1

The first thing Sesshomaru brings her is a container full of leaves. 

Kagome stares at it, lost as he runs his fingers through his hair. "Umm." She stares at the container, wondering if she's missing something, but no, it's still a pile of leaves. "Why did you get me a pile of leaves, Sesshomaru?"

He huffs. "This one is aware humans cannot always attend to their own needs."

"But I don't..." She pauses, shaking her head. "I don't need leaves."

"You consume them," he deadpans and she realizes that he's serious. "Your meal the other day was comprised entirely of leaves."

She finally understands. "That was cabbage and other vegetables, Sesshomaru. Not—not oak leaves!"

"I fail to see the difference. Leaves are leaves, are they not?" He quirks a brow as she gapes at him.

"That's...this is entirely different." She puts up her hands as he opens his mouth to counter. It's just not worth the argument. "I appreciate the sentiment," she says with a fake smile, glaring at InuYasha as he chortles behind her. If he's not careful, she's going to overbrew his tea later. "But, ah, I don't need any more leaves after this."

"Of course not," Sesshomaru replies breezily. "You require a balanced diet."

Kagome has never been more terrified of Sesshomaru in her life. Just what is he planning on having her try and consume?

. 

. 

She gets the answer three days later. "There's a dead farmer somewhere, isn't there?" she asks flatly as she eyes the entire rice plant bundle Sesshomaru has delivered to her. The poor farmer.

Sesshomaru blinks. "Should I have brought you a corpse instead? I did not believe humans consumed such—"

"No! We don't." She's quick to correct the misconception before he gets a worse idea into his head. "We absolutely, positively do not eat other people, Sesshomaru." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "Please don't murder anyone else, okay?"

"I did not murder the farmer."

She looks up, cautiously relieved. "You didn't?"

"Jaken did," he continues, dashing her hope. 

"Of course he did," she mutters under her breath. 

Sesshomaru seems immune to her growing ire and adds, "The farmer wished to use him for fertilizer. I believe your era would refer this as 'self-defense.'"

Her mouth falls open and she struggles to regain control of the conversation. "I'm having a really hard time imagining anyone wanting to use Jaken as fertilizer," she says, giving him a droll look.

"It is beneath one of my station to lie." He lifts his chin, his eyes glinting with amusement. "Jaken, however, is under no such compunctions."

"I don't even know why I bother." Kagome accepts the rice bundle, giving InuYasha a stern look as he steps forward to help her carry it back to the hut they share with Kaede and Rin. 

"'Cause you're both idiots," InuYasha says cheerfully, a wide grin on his face.

Kagome decides then and there that if the last pack of ramen she'd brought back with her mysteriously goes missing, she'll have no idea what happened to it.

. 

. 

Sesshomaru returns a week later, this time with both Jaken and Ah-Un, the latter of which leads a large cart full of an assortment of food. Like the rice previously, the food is fully attached to its roots and flowers but, she notices with mild relief and trepidation, at least there are no oak leaves in the mix. 

"I'm afraid to even ask," Kagome says as she approaches the daiyokai.

"I'm fucking not." InuYasha folds his arms across his chest. "Are you an idiot?"

Kagome runs one hand over her face. Smooth, InuYasha. Real smooth. "Just tell me no farmers were harmed this time," she says quickly, hoping to distract Sesshomaru from his brother's question.

Sesshomaru sniffs. "They were adequately compensated. None were harmed," he continues when she opens her mouth to speak.

"Not a single one?" She peers at him, suspicious. "And you paid them all appropriately?"

"Of course he did, foolish miko!" Jaken bellows from Ah-Un's back. "Those worthless humans should be grateful Sesshomaru paid them at all! The yokai bones and teeth he left were worth a—"

She gapes at Sesshomaru, appalled. "You paid them in yokai bones?" 

He meets her gaze, his expression steely. "What other adequate compensation is there?"

Kagome opens and then shuts her mouth. "Thank you," she finally manages as he beams with pride, "but you know, Sesshomaru, we really have enough food. We really don't need any more."

Sesshomaru's expression closes, his jaw tightening. "Very well, miko. If that is what you wish."

She smiles as he watches them leave with the rice. "We're going to have to return this," she whispers to InuYasha as they leave his brother. "We can't let those people starve because your idiot brother paid them in bones."

"Are you fucking serious?" InuYasha glowers at her. "He's the one who brought this shit here! Make him take them all back!"

"If you do it," she says cheerfully, knowing she has the trump card, "I'll tell you where I hid the last pack of ramen."

InuYasha has nothing to say to that.

. 

. 

When Sesshomaru finally returns again in another two weeks, he brings with him, to her horror, more leaves. 

"Sesshomaru," she pinches the bridge of her nose, "we talked about this. We don't need any more—" She stops short as she eyes the cart Ah-Un has brought this time. "Are these...herbs?" She stares up at him in surprise. "You brought me herbs?"

He stands there for a moment, silent as he watches her, but there is none of his usual overzealous confidence present. 

It's actually quite considerate of him, she thinks. Her medicinal collection has gotten quite low over the last few months, but she hasn't had as much opportunity to restock as she'd have liked, not while Sango has been so sick during her latest pregnancy. "Thank you, Sesshomaru."

"This pleases you?" His gaze is intense.

"Hmm?" She almost doesn't hear him, absorbed as she is in mentally cataloging the supplies he'd brought. "Oh, yes, thank you, it does. It's really helpful."

"You accept, then?" Sesshomaru presses.

"Yes, I just said that—" she begins, not even noticing InuYasha's sudden oddly choking noise as he stands a few feet away. 

"Very well." Sesshomaru smirks as he strides towards her home.

"Um, Sesshomaru?" She turns from the cart. "Where are you going?"

"Home." He smirks at her over his shoulder. "Though once we have completed the mating, perhaps we should discuss expanding it, Kagome. It would be quite small once we have children."

She's at a loss for words as InuYasha doubles over. "Mating...?"

"Hnn." Sesshomaru gives her another smirk, and Kagome catches herself staring at his rear for a sign of a telltale kitsune tail. "You needn't only stare, miko. As of today, it is yours to touch whenever you wish."

And then Kagome finally realizes exactly what she's agreed to—just as InuYasha loses himself to laughter. 

She's screwed.

In more ways than one.

But as Sesshomaru gives her a lascivious look over his shoulder, she decides her fate could always be worse.

At least she's not InuYasha, laughing so hard he's about to roll into a tree.