Creating a monster by idreamofinuyokai

Creating a monster

From the moment of his birth, he understood who he was.

What he was

 A nuisance.

 As an infant, Sesshomaru saw the silent contempt in his father's gaze. He understood that it was because he was an unwanted burden, born as a consequence of his father's lust. Growing into a child, the boy received the full force of that hatred in violent outbursts and humiliation.

 When his father walked into a room, Sesshomaru anxiously waited for the moment those amber eyes would turn to him. His father always knew where he was. Sesshomaru watched his father’s temper boil. The child’s fearful, eyes tracked the General’s movements, waiting for his famed temper to turn on him. It always did.

Sesshomaru was an aristocrat in demon society because of his father’s role in the community. His father valued titles and pressured him to live up to the expectations he placed on him. Sesshomaru's temper was legendary and caused humiliating scenes, which led to beatings that left him clinging to life in his mother’s arms. He learned to contain the rage that simmered within him, as well as hide the turbulent emotions that filled him with dread and hatred every day.

He knew when his father was going to bloody his nose. He felt the warning in the aura like a whip that cut him to his soul. When his father’s fist collided, it was against the iron will of his son’s. Picking himself off of the ground he would look his father in the eye. He knew it would send him into a rampage. His mother would try and calm them down, but she too would suffer.

"Turn your eyes, your stare offends me." He growled, flinging his arms out and shoving Sesshomaru's mother aside.

His father was a man of war, his power was brute force and cunning skills in battles throughout the centuries. His men feared him - all feared him - and none so much as the boy who felt the brunt of the general’s iron will. 

Sesshomaru learned to be wary of nights when his father trained late with his men. Those nights, he would wake up being thrown from his bed to the ground and beaten until he fell unconscious.  Only then his father’s rage was sated. He learned to sleep far into the forest, beyond the reach of his father’s anger.

Growing up, he was expected to fight as the great general’s heir. The other males of the tribe tested and tormented him for that. When he was still a pup, older demons stole the food for his mother and him, forcing him to hunt as soon as he could use his claws. 

He was skinny, and malnourished, but his father was relentless in forcing the issue by making him travel the same path as the boys who tortured him, thus making him face them time and time again. He was sullen, and quiet, knowing that each word spoken would be used against him by all, so he kept to himself.

"Sesshomaru, I want you to be happy," his mother would tell him while soothing the broken skin of his chin and lips with salve. 

She brushed his silver hair from his face,  he frowned. He had not been able to fend off the attacks of the three particular demons that plagued him; he had been injured too much to go hunting afterward, and his stomach rumbled with the pains that meant he would be hungry until his father returned from the skirmish.

"What do I have to be happy about? Father will never be pleased with me and I will continue to be targeted." He said. She was the only one he would speak openly with; the only one he trusted. 

She nodded knowing that what he said was true. "You will be strong someday, Sesshomaru. You must train under your father. He is cruel, and difficult to please. But these are things that have made him what he is. I wish for you to be greater than he is, Sesshomaru. I want you to find happiness worth protecting." She said.

"I do not understand mother," he replied.

"It’s hard to explain, perhaps one day you will be able to understand for yourself." She said and kissed his forehead. His mother was hungry too as she relied on the food that he brought for them, and he knew that his father would be merciless if she starved. He had placed him in charge of her well-being and Sesshomaru was failing miserably.

Sesshomaru’s mother held him tightly to her chest and tried to get him to sleep. He struggled against the pull of warmth, his stomach in knots from hunger and anticipation. 

"Shh," she hushed him as he whined low, trying to turn over once more. He stilled and knew that his restless tossing was keeping her awake. His eyes met his mother's understanding smile and she brought her hand up to run her fingers through his hair. He wrinkled his nose at the show of affection but settled against her chest, feeling her love for him.

The next day would be difficult. Tomorrow, like every day before, he would travel by the river where the three inu males who harassed him, lay in wait for him. He went through the familiar routine of gathering the baskets,  readying the flasks and securing them to his pack.

Passing multiple tents, he quietly avoided eye contact passing the inu. Sesshomaru could hear the gentle lull of the river. He looked for the inu, they were nowhere to be seen. Sesshomaru hurried on to the village square.

In the early morning, the storage building, where the rations were divvied was attended by an elderly male, with his hair bound tightly at the base of his skull. He looked up at Sesshomaru and nodded towards him with respect. Sesshomaru approached the old demon wearily.

"Sesshomaru, you're early. Are you going to the cliffs to watch for the warriors?" He asked. Sesshomaru looked at him with apprehension. "Your father will be among them, do not fear." He continued, misinterpreting the expression. Sesshomaru masked his nerves and hurried back to his trail with his bundle. 

He was almost home when someone grabbed him by the haori and flung him backward. He growled a warning and lashed out, not playing with these inu.

 They laughed at the reaction while he felt the impact of a fist to his jaw, the scarlet liquid filled his mouth. He spat blood and wrenched his arm free, coming face to face with the ringleader.

"Takeda, release me. I have no time to fight with you today. My father is near with his men and I must return." Sesshomaru said. Amusement flashed through Takeda's citron eyes as he ran his claws through his hair and pretended to think about it. Laughing, he snapped his fingers.

"You have our food. Let's teach him some respect. There's no need for food to be wasted on a weakling like you... Awe are you going to cry, Sesshomaru? Or should I say “Shinta”? That seems more fitting of a name for a soft, weak boy like you." Takeda grabbed a fist full of Sesshomaru's hair and wrenched his head back, baring his neck to the group in submission.

Clenching his fists, Sesshomaru raged against the boy’s grasp. A spark of fire lit within him at the mention of his weakness, and he found rage that made his will concrete. 

For the first time, Sesshomaru felt the unquenchable urge to soak his claws in blood. He felt the prick of their claws digging into his arms and the dull ache of his scalp intensified. Fury contorted him with animalistic rage and piercing red eyes.

He pulled his arms from the grasp of the two boys with newfound strength. The boys gasped in shock before Takeda scrambled to contain Sesshomaru. As soon as the fight began anew, it was over. Sesshomaru claws slit the boy’s throat immediately, remorselessly. Blood ran onto the ground, soaking into the grass and wetting the soles of his boots. Takeda’s eyes widened and he growled, reaching to grab Sesshomaru by the throat.

 Sesshomaru grabbed his fist and broke his arm in rage. Adrenaline rushed through Sesshomaru’s system. He heard his heartbeat in his ears and it drove him forward. 

Takada looked to his two friends, one dead and the other attempting to revive him, and then to the crazed face of Sesshomaru.

"Sano, let’s go." He said and grabbed the other arm of their dead friend. Sesshomaru panted, coming down from his high as his enemies' retreating forms disappeared in the distance. 

When he returned to his mother's tent, he found that she was awake and tending to the laundry. Her eyes widened when she saw the blood that adorned his pant legs and sleeves of his haori. She dropped her clothes on the dirt and rushed to him.

"What happened Sesshomaru?" She asked, checking him with panicked motions. Only after inspecting him from head to toe did she calm. He was fine, except for small cuts and bruises that decorated his body.

"I killed one of the boys, and I kept our food Mother, we can eat today." He said and handed her the blood-splattered parcel. She took it, her eyes dimming.

Sesshomaru had not expected her reaction and he felt the pangs of disappointment. At last, they could eat, and would no longer be bothered. Why was she sad?

 The kill had felt right, they were planning on hurting him, again. He could not allow his mother to suffer for his weakness. 

Waiting by the cliff, Sesshomaru,  and several tribe members, watched with quiet anticipation for the warriors. 

Sesshomaru watched solely out of duty as heir. His father’s fate was already known, and he was not surprised when the man rode into the village, galant and staring Sesshomaru down with his piercing eyes.

Inu no Taisho dismounted and stepped past his son without a backward glance. Sesshomaru knew to follow him without being told. Upon entering their tent, Sesshomaru was thrust out and made to wait while his father and mother coupled. He sat on the grass beneath a tree not far from their tent and waited for the scent to fade away. 

"Sesshomaru." His father called.

Sesshomaru jolted from his thoughts and stood. He heard his father's movements, the rustling of clothing and he was beckoned into the tent. He went slowly, not sure why his father had called out to him. He had never done so before and it made him wary. 

"Father?" He said, meeting his father's stare and trying not to wrinkle his nose against the scents that bombarded his senses. Inu no Taisho looked at his son with a sense of mild curiosity.

"You killed Keita, the son of my guard?" He asked.

"I do not know names, only that he violated me for the last time," Sesshomaru said, knowing that his father would find out and punish him for any lie. His father chuckled and Sesshomaru felt his stomach knot at the horrific sound. He ached to look up to see his mother. He saw tears.

"I never thought you had it in you. Finally, you understand what I wanted you to know. You must kill to live. Now you are done looking after your mother. From tomorrow forward, you will be training for the army, Killing Perfection Leave us!" He dismissed him.

Feeling anxious like never before, he looked up and glanced at his mother's still form. She was kneeling elegantly with her hair veiled over her tear-filled eyes. His father growled and pushed his head down to make him look at the ground. He tore his eyes from the ground and glared up at the man who dared to ignore his existence and then rip him away from everything.

Inu no Taisho felt challenge in his son's stare and stepped forward, he cocked his fist back and sent the boy flying across the tent. He saw the woman ready to run to him but stilled her with a warning growl. Sesshomaru struggled from the ground and his sire bent down to grab him by the scruff of his neck.

There was no going back now that his father's eyes had found him. Sesshomaru shook himself free of his father’s grasp and fled for his life into the forest. There, he took his rage out on the trees and boulders that crossed his young fists. He clenched his teeth and growled out his frustration before sitting down and panting, finally drained of his anger to the point of exhaustion.

 Putting his claws in his shoulder-length hair, Sesshomaru cried. He mourned the time he spent in his mother's warm embrace after the harsh rants and beatings. He grieved for the torment waiting for him the next day. 

Finally, he could not shed any more tears,  he swallowed them, vowing that those would be the last tears. He stood and shoved down the emotions.

Sesshomaru looked down at the markings that branded his wrists. They cursed him.

Sesshomaru did not stay long. After all traces of his breakdown had been covered, he returned to his mother’s tent. His father was gone, across the village and amongst his men. He dared not to look in the direction of his father's dwelling place, the place that would soon be home to him as well. He opened the flap to his mother's home and bowed to her. She beckoned him close and drew him into an embrace.

Instead of resting, his mother and he walked through the forest. Soon they strolled silently, an air of contemplation between them. Their thoughts were interrupted suddenly as the scent of drunken beings filled the area. Out of the darkness of the forest, two humans stumbled and crossed the path of the demoness and her pup. Taking him behind her, Sesshomaru watched his mother summon poison to her claws and growl a warning. The humans came closer, their bodies poised to fight even in their drunken stupor. Perhaps if they had been sober, they would have noticed that a demon stood in front of them.

With amazement, Sesshomaru watched his mother slaughter the humans and wipe the blood from her hands and robes. "Humans are filthy creatures. If you let them, they will destroy you. It is much better to destroy them first," She said and urged him to accept her wisdom.

 He nodded and they continued. He thought about what happened, rolled it around in his mind and he still did not understand his mother's actions.

"You will be cared for. The soldiers get rations first because you are our first line of defense. You see, there you will be taught to fight, be given a weapon, and be allowed to accompany your father on missions when you are skilled enough. This is a chance for you to gain some of the respect that will allow you to thrive."

"Mother, I know that I am small for my age, father thinks I am a disgrace. Yet he means to train me for war. Why?" He asked with eyes far wiser than his age. She nodded and he sighed, crossing his arms behind his head. The moon was full that night and Sesshomaru felt the strengthening aura given by the moon's light.

"You are special, Sesshomaru. You are stronger than your father. I believe in your strong heart. Please don't forget that." She asked him.

Sesshomaru looked at his mother, not understanding the way she urged him to promise. She had taught him so much, he could not imagine forgetting all of it and so he nodded. "Mother I could not forget.”

Three months passed in waves of misery and pain. Sesshomaru fought constantly to keep what little dignity he had managed to obtain among the ranks of new soldiers. The more experienced soldiers kicked him and stole from him as the demons of the village did. He was near feral, starving, and becoming more ruthless with each day passing. He began tearing and snapping at the limbs of inu soldiers tormented him until his reputation of eating the flesh from bones was a true fear among the squads.

His snarl grew vicious, he sharpened his claws on the bones of his enemies and they started to leave him alone. His father watched on with apathy, snickered at his weight loss, and criticized his form when brawling for scraps. 

When he became big enough to fight and win, his father allowed it and gave him his rations.

When he ate what he needed, he grew rapidly

At night, by the light of the watch fires, he stared at the stars and waited for the next challenger. He was feared among the recruits. Even his father's stare had softened. At last, he was becoming great. 

When five years had passed in training, Sesshomaru was allowed to accompany his father on raids. Sesshomaru had become a chiseled youth of fifteen, skilled in hand-to-hand combat and with the only temper proven more deadly than the general’s. He did as his father asked, and with every kill and every victory brought home to the village, his heart became more closed off until nothing could faze him. Not even the blood spray of his comrades as they fought side by side in the years to come.

At the age of twenty Sesshomaru was stronger than most and was completely shrouded in brooding silence. He was given his commission, having surpassed his father's expectations and gained the respect of the village leader. He was not rewarded.

 His father handed him the commission and walked away. By the age of twenty, Sesshomaru’s muscles were hard from the battles and beatings he'd survived. Inu no Taisho recognized the growth of his son both physically and mentally. 

The boy was no longer a soft whelp, looking for his mother's comfort. He had the edge of a warrior and the instinct of a killer. It pleased him. But, he was not stong enough

Sesshomaru faced each mission with cunning. His father entrusted him with missions that required the most amount of sacrifice and hardship. At times, he laid siege on a neighboring village. Others, he fought merciless bands of demons bent on domination. He grew more proud with each victory.

As time passed, Sesshomaru understood that his childhood had all been a test to prepare him for this moment. He was a machine, built for slaughter and he excelled at it.

Sesshomaru felt nothing as his claws sliced through flesh, simply satisfaction with the kill and knowledge of his strength.

His father's amused stare would find him often, and he felt the hatred build up in him from years of neglect and abuse. His father went out of his way to make his work harder, sometimes reducing him to a heap on the ground from the lessons in sparring. These times enraged him beyond words. He hated to lose. He often felt the gnawing ache in his claws to shred his father to pieces, but he dared not show it. His control was too good to let this rage slip. If it did, he would die before he could exact his revenge.

Sesshomaru became a master of calm. He meditated constantly, pushing pain and anger to the back of his mind to make room for the information he pursued. There were rumors among his village that he had sold his soul for power. He surpassed demon after demon, not caring whether that demon was a novice or an expert in his craft. Sesshomaru did not lose to anyone. He would not allow his will to be bent and his resolve became iron. His newfound sense of being even planted the seed of fear in his father of the power he gained. 

Sesshomaru visited his mother frequently, she grew more and more distant from him. He saw the disappointment and the anger in her eyes when she looked at him. He wondered what he had done to earn her displeasure. She never said anything, only welcomed him into her tent and embraced him like she did when he was a pup. 

Sesshomaru came to see that she was taken care of and checked her rations and her hearth. He found both to be adequately stocked and left her company after an hour or so. She stared after him and whined low when he closed the door. Sesshomaru frowned and shut the feelings aside which made him want to turn back. He could not look back, only forward.

Taking his place in the soldier's barracks, he sat up listening to the sounds of the Inu slumbering all around him. He hated the smell of these dogs, he hated the fleas, and the smell of sweat in the area. Sesshomaru stood and walked into the night. It was not his turn for guard duty, but he had to escape the crowded room. Close by, he could hear the sound of his father's footsteps. He was coming closer and Sesshomaru stood his ground, ready to face his father no matter what. The huge aura of his sire met him with dominating force. He met a similar amber stare and did not flinch when his father's hand raised to slap him. The resounding smack echoed through the camp. "You dare meet my eye, when you are not fit to walk on the same ground that I stand on?"

Sesshomaru felt rage and attempted to suppress it. Sesshomaru looked at his father with an eerie confidence. "Father, I am fit to do only as you have created me to do." He stated.

Inu no Taisho growled and brought his hand back to slap him once more. "Oh, and what were you created to do?" He dared, waiting for the comment that would lead to the most recent of pummeling.

"It is simple… I have learned what you want from me" Sesshomaru replied, waiting for the inevitable slap.

Inu no Taisho considered his son's words and lowered his hand. "What do you think I want?" 

“ a monster,” He said

“You are right,” Inu no taisho murmured and walked passed him, descending into the night.

Sesshomaru looked after his father with a sense of wonder and loathing. I was created to be a monster. 

AN: thank you for reading! Some of you may recognize this story. I have done a full editing overhaul. I hope you enjoy this. Please leave a review and let me know what you think

Inuyoukaidreamer, out