Without You by thetroll

Chapter 1

It's the flowers that remind him most once she's gone. Cherry blossoms, camellias, morning glories—every flower he sees reminds him of her.

But it is the wildflowers that remind him the most. 

Every time he sees a wildflower blooming, the memories return. Rin dancing in the flowers. Rin placing a flower crown on Jaken's and Ah-Uh's heads. Rin collecting and presenting him with a bouquet to thank him for saving her that day.

Rin's grave, decorated in the wildflowers he'd planted. The small stone marker that had been placed now, a year later, cannot be seen for all the flowers that have been planted, and yet all Sesshomaru sees is the little girl who had found him that day when he had wished to be left alone to die in shame.

Rin is everywhere—and yet nowhere at all.

Her loss to pneumonia in winter had been untenable, made all the worse because he'd known then Tenseiga would not work a second time.

Nor would his mother's meido stone.

Rin was gone.

And yet in his memories, she remains. Every time he hears the sound of children laughing, he thinks of her. Every time he sees the wildflowers, it is almost as if she is with him once more. Every time he sees an orange kimono, he looks a little longer for her familiar features.

He cannot forget her.

"Hey." Kagome reaches out to touch his arm, startling him from his thoughts as he stands before Rin's grave. "It's okay if you don't know what to say, Sesshomaru."

He does not look at his mate. He already knows what he wants to say, but his throat closes against the words. If he had protected her the first time, she would not have died. Tenseiga would have worked at his mother's home, and then, perhaps, his mother's meido stone would have worked on her last winter.

He cannot speak the words aloud.

He does not deserve her forgiveness.

With his mate at his side, all Sesshomaru can do is stand before the grave covered in flowers and hope that one day when he, too, has lived his life and passed on, he can apologize to Rin in person for failing to protect her properly. Perhaps then he might finally earn forgiveness for what he has done.