Fly, Little Butterfly by thetroll

Chapter 1

It was an odd feeling, Kagome reflected, not having a place to belong. And it was made worse still by the knowledge that everyone else's lives were moving on without her.

Sango and Miroku had just welcomed their fifth child. Kohaku himself had settled down with Rin, who was expecting the couple's first child. Ayame and Koga had welcomed three children at once and the most recent update she'd received suggested Ayame was pregnant again, though the triplets were scarcely a year old. Soten had proposed to Shippo and though both were still young in Kagome's eyes, they would be married the next year and she doubted it would be long after before children came into the picture there as well.

Though no one went out of their way to make her feel unwelcome, the truth was that she wasn't. Without children of her own, she had trouble relating to the changes in her friends' lives. Without a husband, she couldn't even empathize with the ups and downs of their own relationships. Every time she was with her friends, she was all too aware of the growing distance between them.

It hurt, made all the worse because as she'd begun to withdraw, no one had seemed to notice. No one went out of their way to invite her back into the group nor did they even seem to notice her absence. 

She found herself spending more and more time by the well, though she knew how pitiful she must have looked, staring down into the well that had once led home. The last time she'd climbed out of it, InuYasha had promised her everything. He'd given her his heart and she'd thought that this time—finally—he'd meant it.

In the end, he hadn't. 

He found settling down too difficult. He was often restless and was quick to volunteer any help he could within the village and to any neighboring villages, especially if it involved yokai in need of slaying. As time went on, he spent more and more time away until he stopped coming home to her at night. In the beginning, at least, he'd always come home to sleep beside her, but that had stopped months ago. 

Oh, he still randomly stopped by to stay the night, but it never lasted long. A day or two, usually three max, and he'd be gone again, off slaying this or helping with that.

And Kagome was left holding the bag open to her empty heart.

What would happen, she wondered, if she fell back into the well and injured herself? Would anyone notice? How long would it take them? And then how much longer to find her? She could very well die in the well before anyone realized anything was wrong, let alone that she was missing.

If they noticed at all.

And what if she just walked away one day and never returned? How long would it take them then? InuYasha was the only one who could track her down by scent now that Shippo was finishing his last assessment at school and he wasn't in the village at the moment. How far could she travel before they noticed? How much farther before they found InuYasha and had him track her down?

Would he track her down?

She sighed, at war with herself. She didn't want to stay but she was afraid of leaving. This was all she had left since she'd returned and she was under no illusions that the rest of Japan was any better off than the well. Nobunaga would be uniting the country soon, if he wasn't already doing so, but it would take time for the warring to die down and the deaths to cease. And even then, bandits would likely still be a problem for awhile yet.

If she left, she'd leave the safety of the village and her bow, though now infused with her powerful reiki, would do her little good in close combat or against swords.

But if she stayed, she would die a little more inside each day until she ceased caring about any of her friends. At least if she left, she could come back and visit and reminisce about the good times they'd once had together.

Finally, as the sun rose high in the sky, she made her decision. She'd leave.

And she would tell no one.

.

Kagome had been traveling for a week before she resigned herself to the realization that no one was coming after her. They would have noticed her absence by then, if only to treat some minor aliment now that Kaede had passed last winter. InuYasha, though he wandered often, was rarely more than a few days away from the village and he could travel quickly, she knew, thinking back to the days when he used to carry her around.

She'd packed all of her supplies and carried them with her in a feudal-made version of the backpack she'd once carried. Sango had made it for her as a welcome home present and, ever practical, had even managed to make one with a plethora of pockets to carry smaller items and herbs in it as well.

Still, she estimated she could only travel another week or two before she'd have to stop somewhere and resupply. Without money, she'd either have to reply on people's kindness to a traveling priestess or she'd have to find some work to do, like peddling her herbal remedies, to buy new supplies. She just didn't know as much about living off the land as Sango and Miroku had.

Not for the first time, she wished she'd paid more attention to their work when they'd all been traveling together.

But she wouldn't turn back. She'd simply have to find a solution to her problem as it became more dire.

.

She hadn't really paid much attention to the direction she'd been traveling when she set out, partially because she'd hoped her friends would prove her wrong and come find her. When they hadn't, she hadn't been bothered to care about where she went. What did it matter, anyway?

But to her surprise, Kagome found herself standing before the largest magnolia tree she'd ever seen, imbued with a quiet but steady supply of yoki.

A yokai tree, then, she thought to herself, remembering the last yokai tree she'd come across. This one lacked the malevolent aura the man-eating yokai tree had had, but that didn't necessarily mean it would be happy to see her or willing to point her in the direction of the nearest human village, either.

But I have to try.

She shifted her weight before the tree, cautiously trying to wake it up without overtly disturbing and possibly angering it.

"Um...?" she tried, but got no response. "Hello, Grandfather Magnolia Tree?"

She hoped she'd struck the proper reverence for what was undoubtedly an old yokai tree but when it failed to respond, she began to think she'd bothered it so much it was ignoring her.

After several more unsuccessful tries, she gave up. The sun was beginning to set, anyway, so she decided she might as well settle down for the night. Maybe the tree would be more accommodating in the morning. She settled down against the branches of what she hoped were a neighboring tree, had a cold dinner for herself, and curled up to sleep, not daring to use a campfire so close to the yokai tree.

.

"Do you intend to sleep away the day, child?"

Kagome blinked as she forced her crusty eyes open, struggling to find the source of the deep masculine voice she'd heard.

"No...?" Her voice was hoarse as she found herself looking up at the old tree. Unlike the day before, a face appeared within the trunk, looking down at her with what she decided was a most grandfatherly expression. "I guess I overslept, though," she added, noting the sun was much higher than when she normally awoke.

She got to her feet and stretched as the tree sighed.

"My roots were getting quite stiff. I can only imagine how you must feel," the magnolia tree said with no small degree of amusement.

She flushed. "I'm so sorry!" She bowed her head as she realized she'd misjudged which tree the roots belonged too. She hastily began cleaning up her makeshift camp, rolling up the light blankets she'd brought from her hut. InuYasha had given them to her as a future wedding present for a wedding they'd ultimately never had.

The tree chuckled. "It is alright, child. One tree's roots looks much like another. But why would you sleep here without your friends or InuYasha?"

"Oh." She felt the blood leave her face just as quickly as it had rushed in. "It's complicated. You know who I am?"

The tree seemed to study her. "This old tree has made it a priority to know, Kagome, Shikon priestess." One of his branches seemed to bend, as if he was offering her the tree version of a handshake.

She hesitantly took it.

"It is nice to finally meet you," the tree said as she pulled her hand away again. "I am called Bokuseno."

"It's nice to meet you, too," she said politely, relieved when the tree did seem genuinely happy to see her. "But I'm not the Shikon priestess anymore. The jewel is gone. I wished for it to disappear."

"Did it?" If the tree had human eyebrows to raise, she had the feeling he would have raised one. "The power would have had to go somewhere, Kagome. That much power cannot simply just disappear."

Kagome was taken aback. "But where would it go?" she asked, reflecting back on the moment she'd made the wish. "It looked like it disappeared."

"Perhaps the jewel itself did." Bokuseno seemed amused, as if he knew far more than he was letting on. "Tell this old tree, Kagome. Did you know the jewel was inside you before?"

She shook her head. "No, but there's good reason for that. The jewel had little power in my time. There's no magic or yokai or reiki left."

"Ah, I see." Bokuseno's branches rustled and she wondered if that was his way of laughing. "Then you must have sensed it when you arrived in this era."

Kagome blinked. "No. I was just as surprised as anyone else when that centipede bit it out of me."

"Then how would you know if the power had returned to you?" the tree challenged.

"I guess I wouldn't," she replied, not liking where the conversation had gone.

"Hmm." The tree seemed to stare at her. "Perhaps you should consult with Sesshomaru, Kagome. His library in the west is most extensive."

Kagome sighed heavily. "Sesshomaru isn't going to like me just showing up unannounced."

The tree's eyes closed. "Then tell him I sent you," the tree replied, sounding distracted. "That should amuse him."

Kagome didn't find the situation amusing at all, but Bokuseno had already drifted off to sleep and she realized she wasn't likely to get anything else out of him. She didn't even know where Sesshomaru was, let alone how to find him. His visits with Rin had grown increasingly infrequent as she'd matured. Once she'd married, they'd seemed to cease altogether. 

Unless Sesshomaru had found a way to visit without anyone else in the village knowing, that was.

She sighed as she set out, this time more careful to ensure that she took a more westerly path. She may not know where or how to find him, but if he had the best library in the west, then it stood to reason that somewhere in the west he'd made his home.

.

Sesshomaru sat at his desk in his shiro, annoyed at the missive in front of him. No amount of cajoling, begging, or threatening would have him marrying anyone without his own expressed desire to do so and the attempts were frankly pathetic.

Still, they would have to be addressed in turn. But not today. He felt stifled in the shiro, as he often did. It did not feel like a home, more like a silk-encased prison, and he took every opportunity he could find to travel his lands and protect them, as his father had before him. 

Today would be no different. He would take his time and when he returned, he would answer the obnoxious missives. Perhaps by then, he would no longer feel quite so driven to hunt down each and every whiny father and ensure those pitiful words would be their last. If they sought an answer sooner, Jaken was more than adept enough to handle the situation until his return.

His father had dealt with it by marrying quickly and young, but Sesshomaru was in no mood to settle for the first acceptable female that crossed his path. His mother had proven a formidable ally in her own right, though his father had been more impressed by her innate power. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, was already the most powerful being in Nippon. It was unlikely any wife, no matter how carefully chosen, would even come close to his own power, so what was the point?

He left the shiro on a cloud, wanting to get some distance away before he began walking the length of his lands. Perhaps, he reflected, the answer to his problems would come to him as he walked around in quiet reflection. If he was lucky, it would come to him sooner than later.