Hi. Okay first of all please, please, please don't take what I am about to say as a flame or being cruel, that's something that I never do. Anyone who put them selves out there for everyone to read deserves respect. You deserve congradulations for your first fic. So please don't take what I'm going to tell you badly, I just want to help. I don't grade stories, meaning I don't pick apart grammar and spelling, stuff like that, you have way to many errors and they distract from your story. Your story is moving way to fast. I didn't read half way through the second chapter, I was just to confussed. When did Sess walk into the room? He's mentioned approx., second or third paragraph, I had no idea he even came in with anyone. There is no emotions in the characters at all. Kagome just acts like she's just had her tonsils out and missed school for a few days and wants to know what's happening. Why would reporters want to talk to her so badly, a minor, it wouldn't be exploited like that. maybe it would be mentioned but not her idenity, (minor) Her friends bombarding her in her room like that. Who are these people? You need to write like we just met these people. I don't want to say any more that's enough I know you get the picture. You have a potential for an excellent fic which I can't wait to see where this is going. I think your excited and are a good writer with good ideas. Maybe you need to slow down your story and explain a little more, your writting will improve the more you write. Every thing is kind of jumbled. Relax and ask your self questions as if you were Kagome or your characters and take ques from tv shows, Kagome would be quite weak, they would most likely give her a morning after pill at the ER after finding she was raped, the police would want to talk to her first. I truly hope you do not take this as a flame, it's not, truly, I would love to see your idea develop, your good, you and your story have potential. I will be glad to help if you want. I don't have any stories posted yet, I'm waiting till summer when school is out so I can devote to updates, my pet peeve is abandon stories, but I will be willing to help, just don't trust my grammar and spelling. Well,Sane Psyco (cool name by the way), congrats again on your firt fic, I hope to see more, write on! Much Love InuAngel

if she's preggers wouldn't that help ID the guy that hurt her????