Really cute story, though I did think Sesshoumaru was a bit OC at the end. You are very descriptive which I like. One thing I did notice is your sentences tend to run a little long. Maybe seperating them would help the flow.
This is the third story I've read of yours and found it to be a very enjoyable and romantic tale. I said in previous reviews that I am not a fan of song fics but in this instance, as in your story Subway , the lyrics actually added to the story, instead of taking away from it. Probably for two reasons, the first being that it was inserted all together, instead of after every few sentences, which can result in continually breaking up the story, making the tale choppy. The second reason I think it worked is because there is a reason for the lyrics to be there. The reader gets to "hear" what Kagome is listening to.
At the very end, it was super sweet. I felt Sesshoumaru was a bit ooc but because you showed their relationship developing over time, it is plausible that he would be able to reveal how he truly feels to her.
There were a few grammar and spelling mistakes but they were minor and didn't detract from the story. Well done.
I really liked this one. It was not rushed, and while they were a little bit mushy at the end, it was great for Valentine's Day and was very cute. I liked this so much I went and found the song to listen and see what your inspiration was, even though I avoid techno like the plague, and actually liked it! I do not generally like songfics, but again, it was all together, and not spread throughout. Very nice job. A few spelling errors, which were generally usage, but that did not detract. Good job!
Ikaru (Chapter 1) - Fri 12 Feb 2010
i really did like this alot. there were a few spelling and grammar issues throughout the story, but nothing that took away from the flow or the meaning, all in all i believe you did a fine job, i really enjoyed it:D
A few grammar foibles but nothing drastic. I love that you did not rush their relationship but gradually brought them closer, even if the mushy part was a little OOC for both of them. I doubt even Sess would expound quite so much heartfelt emotion, no matter what he was feeling. It was sweet though.
Hairann (Chapter 1) - Fri 12 Feb 2010
A few grammer issues, but not many, a quick edit should catch those. The discriptions came across rather nicely. A bit of OOCness at the end, but decent enough anyways.
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