I think you have something here... Even if the present tense you use is a bit usetting to me, I'm just not used to it really. Just be sure you put some good dynamics into the story, as the narration in the present tense can be sometimes a bit slowish. Well, that's my own opinion anyway lol. Ah evil cliffie!! What does she look like? Hum... So many questions... I look forward for your next update. Dewa mata