Few pointers: People don't really tend to say things like OMFG out loud as letters instead of words so you may want to think about spelling them out.  I'd recommend seeing about getting a beta, there are quite a few spelling/grammer mistakes such as thr instead of the and wut instead of what.  Some of the more 'text' friendly words such as OMG, wut (instead of what if that was intenional) and such don't really work well when reading stories.  Also try to stay away from adding an AN in the middle of a paragraph as it tends to break up the story flow. And watch for tenses, past, present and future, as using the wrong one can make it difficult to read.  Such as 'Soon the break bell would ring and she can talk to her best friend Sango' where can should have been could.

And while this would be seen more as imo, I'd recomend staying away from some of the nicknames such as Kags, Sang, and Inutrasha as they tend to hurt the story rather than help it.  Insulting someone within their own name is really just a way to bash the character and it is far better to do that within the story by giving them problems or having things not work out from them, rather then just sounding like you are trying to bash them.