I like where you went. It's a good start for a chapter story - strong.
I noticed a few intervals where you could have substituted some words for others and rephrased, but overall it was a good piece. I really like some of the descriptions in this chapter, and I'll definitely keep a lookout for the next.
Thanks for the read.
~ Incomprehensible
Nefret (Chapter 1) - Thu 08 Jan 2009
Definitely an interesting start. I wonder why Sesshoumaru bothered to save her. What's in it for him? :P
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