Interesting if a bit mechanical. It lacks flow and fluidity and is a bit rigid in terms of writing style. Kagome is described like a robot with replacement parts rather than a person. Also too much is said and not enough is described. We don't see Kagome experiencing anything. We're told she does. It makes the story more narrative than character-oriented. I didn't really get into it nor was I drawn in and absorbed by it. Thus too mechanical. It was almost like reading a step-by-step guide to resolving a problem rather than a story about Kagome being in a cocoon. Also you need to watch your use of commas and apostrophes especially in direct addresses and possessives like this - "You're right, Sesshoumaru-sama", and this, "This is Kagome's scarf".
The commas and apostrophes in both instances many times are left out.
Spelling and punctuation around these two is good though, but for me the story lacks the central ingredient, especially in the beginning.
Kagome.
Interesting and entertaining, I've never read anything about her changing to youkai this way! Really cool idea (:
beautiful!!! i love your stories!!
I'm finally leaving a review after reading the story a year ago, the story was amazing and it had a wonderful ending.
This was great, and I love how it ended. I like how Kagome stood up for herself.
Haha, Koga. You suck.
Finally! :]
As a few other posts have read, this was a very well written story. I appreciate you writing Kagome with a backbone. She knew what she had to do and just did it. The ending was perfect. She cut ties that needed to be cut and didn't sugar coat. I love that. I look forward to more of your work.
Kynkii
that was rather nice. thank you
Excellent work, very well written. I think that the ending was very interesting, personally I love sweet happy endings but this was very good for this story. It gave it a bit of realism to the three relationships. Like in real life everyone has doubts and conflicts that have to be worked through. Like I said, excellent work!!!
I really liked it. I went in thinking it was probably going to be so so with so few chapters, and when it mentioned evolving and all that. I was thinking something TOTALLY different. But I liked how it turned out.
this is a really great story that i love and like a lot since i first started reading it your a very great author who wrote this very great and wonderful good story.
Wow!!
EXCELLENT STORY!! Extremelly original, well written, and with all needed to make it into my favorites!!! Really a great story!! I look forward to read other stories from you!! AMAZING!!
Simply gorgeous
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