I thought it was very rushed - not really taken care of in terms of endearment to the piece. I think it would have been better if it was longer and had more description.

One of the things that I really noticed was how curt it was. For example 'Click.' describes Kagome hanging up the phone. Instead, you might want to use other words, widen your vocabulary, to say 'She set the phone down, a frown marring her lips' is a little more realistic and easier to comprehend, no?

Also, with the nitty-gritty scene, I think you could have taken it a little slower, exaggerated things and just overall added a little realism to the scene. Describe things in detail when it comes to those aspects, because otherwise it's like staring at a blank paper, right?

It was short, but I'm glad I took the time to look over it.

Thanks for the read.

~ Incomprehensible

Cute one-shot! I love it when Sesshoumaru gets a little bit sweet for a change. :P

It did feel a bit rushed to me, though. Kisses can be very fun to write - but the style of your writing should reflect the kind of kiss that you're writing about. Is it a short peck on the cheek? You can probably write that in one line. A slow sensuous make-out session? Take your time with it -- allow your readers to feel what Kagome's feeling; set the tone in your writing. A hard, fast kiss? Use language that reflects that.

In writing, as in most things, it's not just what you say, but how you say it.

Thanks for that little bit of fluff to brighten up the morning!