Sweet little short story. I really enjoyed reading it. You painted a very nice picture, so to speak. Sesshoumaru's musings really gave insight into what he's thinking and kept him in character for the most part. We wouldn't want him to be completely in character as we would never have our wonderful S/K pairing if he was. Keep up the good work, I would like to read more .

Yes, your fic was short and sweet.  I didn’t think it was OOC at all.  Sesshoumaru truly doesn’t want to become his father (at least at first).  But when he is exposed to love and complete acceptance, there is no telling what he’ll do.  I liked it because it was like Sesshoumaru’s mind was open for a reader’s perusal.  For Sessh, killing naraku and everything else were incidentals.  What truly slowed time for him – what he really savored – was the time he spent with Kagome.  I liked the imagery because you focus not on the details of the events but on the quiet moment between a sleeping girl and her lover.  There were errors, but I honestly doubt anyone can get away from them 100% of the time.  Good job.

ducky out!

This was very short but sweet.  There were a few grammatical errors; incomplete sentences were the biggest issue that I noticed.  Other than that, it was a nice little story.

that was a sweet little short story, and i believe you did rather well, i didnt notice and horrible spelling or grammar issues, the only thing that bugged me ever so slightly was that a couple of the paragraphs seemed a little broken, like you hit enter acciently in the middles of the sentence, but that isnt anything big as it most likely happened when you were moving the song to the end of the story...Very well done and i hope you continue to keep up the good work:D

I've just finished reading this after the changes you made.  You were able to correct the majority of the spelling mistakes and with the song at the end the flow of the story is much smoother.  Very nice little short, you should write more.  : )

(If you feel like it in the very first line breece should be spelled breeze.  But it's not a big deal and doesn't really affect the story.)

A sweet little story.  Your writing was descriptive and I was able to form a definite picture in my mind.  It was sort of a snap shot that captures the moment.  I'm glad that you mentioned Sesshoumaru's initial stubbornness regarding their relationship and how he eventually comes to the decision that he doesn't want to watch her die someday, and be without her.  It's always interesting to get a peek into a character's mind.

There are some problems though. First there were some misspelled words, which can end up being a distraction especially when the story is very short.  The lyrics inserted between every few lines disrupted the flow of the story and made it choppy.  Putting the lyrics at the beginning or at the end can make your tale move smoothly.

Overall nice.

It's sweet and poignant but there's no backstory or build up to the question and his eventual decision. How did they come together? Where is everyone else? There were a couple of spelling errors, nothing another pair of eyes couldn't catch beforehand. The song detracts from the emotions that your words already convey...it was a very nice read though

At first, I was so frustrated I just wanted to smack Sessy upside the head for saying that he wouldn't mate her, and that no one needed to know, but by the end, I was happy with him again. There are a few spelling issues to correct on this one. One of them is THROUGH, which you spelled as TROUGH and TROUGHT. Also, you should put HEALING instead of HEELING. There were a couple other little things, but those are the two that stick out in my mind. I would consider getting a beta if I were you. Other than that, nice work on a first try! Keep it up!

This is a pretty decent read, though I think you could do better without the lyrics, they aren't really needed as you got your point across without them.  And they tend to break up the flow of a story.  A few grammar issues, nothing a quick edit or a beta couldn't fix.  Could use a bit more detail, but it is really not bad for a first attempt at fan fiction :).