Nice start. I will admit i'm kind of a sucker for fairytales. You did have some spelling and punctuation errors, that did mess with the flow a bit. The way the first paragraph was formatted kind of threw me off, too. Maybe getting a beta would help with those issues. Good luck!

This story has a lot of potential.  I like how you have worked in aspects from some of the different versions of the Cinderella stories (I'm seeing a little of Ever After along with some of the Brothers Grimm version) while also changing it up to give it a fresh plot.  However, it could really use some editing.  I have noticed some issues with tenses and word usage (for example, using "discuss" when I think you meant "disgust").  Also, you should separate the dialogue so that a new paragraph starts when a different character speaks.  The way it is now, with the dialgoue jumbled together in one big paragraph, is confusing to read, and several times I wasn't sure who was saying what without reading it over again.  I think if you fixed the dialogue, alone, it would be a great improvement for this story.

i really enjoyed this fic, i think my favorite part was the relationship between Kagome and Kaede...only one thing confused me a little when i was reading it, it was the thoughts, the didnt seem to flow as well as the rest of the speech, but other than that i really liked it and think you did a great job, ill be faving this and waiting eagerly for an update:D

I think this story has such a cool plot.  There are some grammar/spelling issues that really need to be fixed.  Disgust is not spelled ‘discuss.’  I like the idea of Rin-rin being the “faerie g-momma” along with Kamia. 

There are confusing aspects to your plot.  Kagome never lied to Sesshoumaru from my understanding…She simply omitted the fact that she was a lady.  And it’s not like she would go out in wonderful clothes, she was dressed modestly (almost too modestly). 

No offense, but Kagome’s plight needs to get darker.  Yura and Kikyo…aren’t that bad.  If Kagome is a demon, why can’t she simply overpower them, or do her own thing?  Kagome seems too passive at times, but then there are times with Naraku when she explodes with rage.  Characterization doesn’t have to follow the manga exactly in an AU because it’s in an alternate universe – the rules of inuverse don’t apply.  However, that doesn’t mean characterization should be erratic.

Personally, I think Sesshoumaru is way too focused on Kagome’s eyes. lol ^__^

>.<

Nice plot! Get a beta and continue, because this is a fic definitely worth reading.

ducky out!

Cute story and nice retelling of "Ever After".  There were a couple of sentences that were unfinished, but not a big deal.  It's been a very long time since I've seen the movie so other beyond the general story line, I don't remember all the details of the movie anymore.  Clever making Kagome into a inuyoukai, a nice twist.  Good job.

Cute story and nice retelling of "Ever After".  There were a couple of sentences that were unfinished, but not a big deal.  It's been a very long time since I've seen the movie so other beyond the general story line, I don't remember all the details of the movie.  Clever making Kagome into a inuyoukai, a nice twist.  Good job.

'Ever After' is one of my favorite movies, and I can totally see how Kikyou could be the really evil older stepsister. I also can see Sessy as the prince. It will be interesting to see how Inuyasha ties in, maybe as the second heir in case the first is disowned? Interesting premise.

I did have a real problem reading this because of different people speaking in one paragraph. That is so confusing to me, and is honestly one of my huge pet peeves. I think that the flow of the story is better without that. There were some spelling and grammatical issues as well, so you might want to consider getting a beta to work with you.

Keep up the story, and never let any kind of setbacks get you down. That is how we all learn. Good job!

Cinderella was always one of my fav stories...of how good deeds and love always win out of greed and jealousy. Making Kagome a demon off the bat gave her more backbone and oomph for the rest of the tale. It is very remiss of Ever After and Drew Barrymore's fiesty heroine. Although it took some brainrankling to see Sess as the dashing prince charming, I must admit that only he could truly pull off that dashing character...Plz update and finish the tale.

Interesting idea for a story, and I love how you've made Kaede like the younger sister in Ever After, I loved her toward the end of the movie :).  There are a few issues that need some touching up, such as trying not to start so many sentences in a row with 'Kagome', or anyone's name or pronoun for that matter.  Saying things like Kagome did this, Kagome did that, tends to break the story flow.  Also try not to have more than one person talking in a single paragraph, good rule of thumb is to always start a new one for each person, even if they only say one word.  Though I would have prefered for her to remain human, I am happy that you started her out as a demon rather than changing it in the middle of the story.  Good luck with this story :).