This is dedicated to Mimiru or KillerCandyCane, for being super awesome, because that’s what she is.
Mimiru, I hope you enjoy it.
Sorry for the lack of sadistic humor, but I think I have plenty of insult humor to go around. There might even be a smidge of crack if you look for it.
Maybe.
…
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or Yu Yu Hakusho. They belong to Takahashi-sensei and Togashi-sensei respectively.
…
Kagome stared at her kit, with whom she had just recently been reunited with, before looking at her teammates.
“Yeah,” she began, “count me out for this one.”
“What? Why?” Yusuke asked, sounding particularly dumb to Kagome.
Kagome sighed dramatically. “Because, when Koenma said that we had to travel to lands in Makai not under Enki’s jurisdiction in order to set up a treaty, I didn’t think he meant we had to the Western Lands to set up a treaty. There’s no way I’m going!”
“But, Momma, don’t you want to see the others?” Shippo asked, cocking his head and looking very much like he used to 500 years ago. “I mean, Rin and Grandma will be way too happy to see you. And, maybe even Sesshomaru, too.”
Kagome grounded her teeth and stomped her foot. “I never want to see that switcher ever again!”
“Switcher?” Shippo asked.
“What’s a switcher?” Kuwabara asked, confused.
“Someone who switches,” Kagome explained angrily, upset that her insult had completely flown over everyone’s head.
“What exactly do you mean by that?” Kurama asked.
“Oh, you know,” she said, a bit disappointed that even the avatar hadn’t understood what she meant. “He switches when he walks.”
At their still blank faces, she threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. “He sways his hips when he walks! Very exaggeratedly, might I add.”
Kurama coughed politely, Hiei was almost smirking, and Yusuke and Kuwabara guffawed loudly. Shippo, on the other hand, was not amused.
“You aren’t serious, are you?” he asked, aghast.
Kagome nodded solemnly.
“Hold on!” Yusuke yelled. “If you know that, you had to have been staring at his-“
“Finish that sentence, Yusuke, and when we get back to Ningenkai I’ll tell Keiko who really bought her birthday gift.”
Yusuke immediately shut up.
Kurama didn’t bother hiding his chuckle, Hiei was full on smirking now, and Kuwabara was still laughing.
Shippo was still in shock, so he didn’t react at all.
Kagome sighed. “Anyway, I’m going to head back. I don’t want to see Sesshomaru’s stupid face.”
That snapped Shippo out of his stupor. “No, Mom! You can’t leave! Please,” Shippo begged, pouting and sniffling pitifully.
Kagome melted. “Fine. It’s really no fair that you’re still so cute after all these years,” she grumbled.
“I gotta learn that trick,” Yusuke muttered.
“Let’s go then,” Shippo said, smiling widely. “I’ll travel with you guys to the citadel. We aren’t too far, actually. It’s only a little ways away.”
Everyone nodded, and they began walking together, Shippo in the lead.
“So,” Shippo began, slowing down to walk in step with his mother. “I thought you and Sesshomaru parted on good terms?”
Kagome scoffed. “No. That Jakotsu-lover and I did not part on good terms.
Shippo whimpered. “Jakotsu-lover? Switcher? Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Kagome scowled. “No. Sesshomaru is, unfortunately, completely heterosexual.”
“What? But… I’m so confused…” Shippo murmured, his brow furrowing.
“What exactly do you mean by unfortunately, Kagome?”
The miko rolled her eyes as Kurama abruptly jumped into the conversation, but didn’t comment on his eavesdropping.
“I mean exactly what I said. My kit’s future father-in-law is completely heterosexual, and it’s a terrible, unfortunate thing.”
Shippo fell over suddenly, making everybody stop walking. Kagome crouched on the ground next to him and cocked her head, obviously concerned.
“Ship, what’s wrong?”
The addressed kitsune shot up and towered over Kagome, his face completely red. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong? How can you say that, Mom?”
Kagome blinked as she looked up at him. “Hmm? What, are you and Rin in that stage already? Oh, I missed so much.”
Shippo shook his head vigorously. “We aren’t in any stage! We don’t do stages!”
Kagome nodded knowingly, before standing. She walked over to Kurama and leaned into him.
“He’s in denial,” she whispered.
“I’m not denying anything!”
“Let’s walk again,” Kagome said, ignoring her kit’s protests. She turned to Yusuke and Kuwabara, only to see them wrestling each other and fighting over something. Kagome sighed as Hiei sent a scathing comment their way, causing both boys to turn on the hiyoukai.
“Boys!”
They all turned to her.
“What?” Yusuke shouted.
Kagome glared warningly. “We’re moving. Let’s go.”
Kagome nodded at Shippo, who had given up his protests, and they began their trek once more.
Kagome looked over her shoulder, and motioned for Hiei to come to her. He obliged grudgingly.
“Why do you do that?” Kagome asked, referring to the fight he had nearly instigated.
“Hn,” he responded, in place of an answer.
“Hey,” Shippo began. “Doesn’t that remind you of Sesshomaru, Momma?”
Kagome’s eyebrow twitched. “No! That emasculated and completely effeminate jerk is nothing like Hiei! Hiei is sweet and kind, and nice and friendly, and helpful, and adorable, and Sesshomaru is not!”
Shippo nodded furiously in agreement, not willing to argue.
Kurama coughed lightly. “Who exactly is emasculated and completely effeminate?”
Hiei glared at Kurama, making Kurama smile.
After a few minutes of silence– if you didn’t count Kuwabara and Yusuke arguing in the back of the group– Kagome started up a new conversation.
“So,” she drawled out, putting everyone on edge.
All of them knew what that “so” meant when coming from Kagome. It meant trouble, and a lot of it.
“So what?” Shippo said bravely, his voice suspiciously high-pitched.
“So, when can I expect grandkits? You’re even further along than I thought if you’re denying everything. Have you asked your jerkish future father-in-law for Rin’s hand yet? Do I have to threaten him for you? Because I will. I don’t mind.”
Shippo opened and closed his mouth. Repeatedly.
Luckily, before anyone even had the chance to dignify her completely mortifying– for Shippo– statement with a response, the citadel came into view.
Kagome froze as she looked at it.
“Isn’t it exactly like you remember, Mom?” Shippo said nervously. “Let me just tell the guards to open the gate, and-“
“Wait!” Kagome screamed, startling Shippo, and her team.
“What’s wrong?” Shippo asked.
Kagome looked around frantically, before her gaze landed on Kuwabara. Her eyes lit up, making Kuwabara take a few steps back.
Kagome ignored his blatant wariness and rushed to him. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug, causing everyone to stare in confusion at the only female in their group of six.
“Oh, Kazuma! You’re my hero!”
“I am?” he asked stupidly.
“He is?” Shippo and Yusuke questioned simultaneously.
“Yes!”
Kagome pulled away slightly, her eyes shining, pleading with Kuwabara to do something that he was sure he didn’t want to do.
“Kazuma,” Kagome began. “Will you be my boyfriend?”
Everyone stared.
“You want to date Kuwabara?” Yusuke cried.
Nobody else could speak.
Kagome ignored Yusuke. “Please, Kazuma? I need you to be my boyfriend.”
“B-but! Yukina…”
Kagome waved her hand. “I don’t want you to be my real boyfriend. I just need you to pretend. Just for a little while.”
“Wait, what?” Shippo asked, finally getting his voice back. “What’s this about, Momma? What are you doing?”
Kagome turned to Shippo with an exasperated expression. “It should be obvious, kit. What always used to get me in trouble in the past?”
“Just being yourself,” Shippo answered, his brow furrowed.
Yusuke snorted. “That still happens now.”
Kagome’s eyebrow twitched. “No. Going into battle unprepared and without a weapon always used to get me in trouble.”
“Oh,” Shippo said. “What does that have to do with you wanting a fake boyfriend?”
Kagome turned away from him and looked back at Kuwabara, who she had yet to let go of.
“It has everything to do with it. Unless you agree, Kazuma, you’ll be sending me into battle without any armor.”
Seeing that Kuwabara was still unsure, Kagome decided to pull out the big guns. She called tears to her eyes as she continued. “I know how you feel about women going into battle. So, maybe, instead of making me fight– just this once– you’ll fight for me?” she pleaded, sniffling a little bit.
Kuwabara’s countenance immediately shifted. “Of course I’ll help you!”
Kagome let go of him and began jumping up and down, her tears having miraculously disappeared. “Yay! Thanks so much, Kazuma!”
Kuwabara nodded vigorously.
“I see where you got it from, Shippo,” Kurama managed.
“I forgot how scary good she was,” Shippo said blankly.
“That’s nothing. You should see the way she works Kurama,” Yusuke said, earning a scowl from the aforementioned fox.
Shippo shivered. “I’d rather not.”
Before anyone could respond, Kagome turned on her heel and looked at the four other males she was traveling with. “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen: you’re going to shut up about this and not mention a word about the whole fake boyfriend thing. Got it?”
“Hn,” Hiei responded.
The others nodded.
“Good,” Kagome said, turning back to Kuwabara. “Now, Kazuma, I don’t want you to do anything.”
Kuwabara blinked. “Huh? I thought you said there was going to be a battle.”
“There will be,” Kagome assured him. “And as long as you stand next to me and don’t do anything, we’ll win.”
“If you say so,” he said hesitantly.
“I do. Also, don’t say anything about being my boyfriend. Sesshomaru’d be able to sniff out your lie in less time than it takes for him to apply his trademark magenta eye shadow.”
“I thought those were his markings,” Shippo said, raising an eyebrow dubiously.
Kagome looked at him over her shoulder. “That’s what he want’s you to think. But he and Sango shared the same make up distributor and the same shade, so…”
Shippo’s expression morphed into one of horror. “Seriously?”
Kagome cocked an eyebrow, not deigning his outburst with a verbal response.
“This is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve heard a lot of disturbing things,” Shippo said.
Kagome shrugged. “Anyway, we had better get inside. Shippo?”
Shippo nodded absently, before disappearing in a flash of bright blue foxfire.
Less than a minute later, the gates were opened, and the Reikai Tantei, plus their miko, entered the Western Citadel.
Shippo met them on the other side, looking only marginally less disturbed. Kagome walked up to him and wrapped her arm around his waist. He leaned his head on hers and sniffed lightly.
“Thing’s will never be the same again, Mom.”
“Don’t worry, kit,” Kagome said, rubbing his back soothingly. “He would never go after you; you’re not his type.”
Shippo froze, and the other members of the Rekiai Tantei had to work to hide their amusement.
“I thought you said he was heterosexual!” Shippo cried, pulling away from his mother to stare down at her.
Kagome blinked. “So I did,” she muttered. “Well, then. You don’t have to worry at all, because you really aren’t his type.”
Kagome offered him a bright smile, which Shippo returned shakily, trying to stop his face from twitching.
“Well, Shippo, lead the way!”
…
After plenty of hugs and unshed tears between Kagome, Rin, and Mitsuki, Sesshomaru’s mother, the dowager of the West, Kagome returned to her teammates side, standing a bit closer to Kuwabara than she usually would.
Sesshomaru looked at them from his seat at the front of the room.
“This one understands the miko’s presence, but that does not explain the presence of Reikai officials in the West,” he said, his eyes never straying from Kagome.
Kagome smiled, as she watched Shippo take his place next to Rin. “I actually came here only by coincidence. My teammates and I are under orders from Koenma to negotiate a new treaty with you.”
“You work for Reikai?”
Kagome wrinkled her nose. “I volunteer.”
Sesshomaru nodded.
Kagome absently trailed her fingers up Kuwabara’s arm.
Sesshomaru glared when he caught the action, conveniently missing both Kuwabara and Shippo’s shocked expressions.
“Will you let us negotiate with you?” Kagome asked, having been appointed– read having appointed herself– the spokesperson for their team on this mission.
Sesshomaru nodded. “Details will be discussed tomorrow.”
Kagome’s eyes widened. “You want us to stay the night?”
Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow. “You wish for a treaty, do you not?”
Kagome’s jaw twitched, but she managed a smile, before “casually” intertwining her fingers with Kuwabara’s. “Of course. We’ll be glad to stay.”
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes, his shoulder’s more tense than they had been merely seconds previous.
“You are dismissed,” he bit out, still managing to sound indifferent.
Shippo jumped up. “Why don’t I take the boys to their rooms, and Momma can catch up with everyone?” he suggested, his eyes darting from his mother to Sesshomaru.
Kagome smiled. “That sounds excellent!”
“Great. Follow me,” Shippo said, walking to a door on the south side of the room.
The boys followed, but Kagome made sure to let go of Kuwabara’s hand only when she couldn’t hold on to it any longer.
She watched him as he left the room, a small smile on her face.
When she couldn’t see Kuwabara anymore, she turned back to face forward. “Rin, Momma.”
Rin beamed, and Mitsuki’s lips twitched.
“Let’s go take a bath together!” Rin squealed.
Kagome laughed, and Mitsuki nodded her consent.
“Lead the way!” Kagome said, before walking up to the two females that she had missed just as much as her son.
Together they left the room, not even sparing a backwards glance at the daiyoukai who was currently glaring at the place where Kuwabara had been standing.
…
Kagome sighed languidly as she soaked in the hot springs with Rin and Mitsuki.
“I’ve missed you guys,” she said, opening her eyes to look at the two other women bathing with her.
Rin let out another squeal and swam over to Kagome. They embraced.
“I’ve missed you too.”
Kagome looked over Rin’s shoulder at Mitsuki. “Momma? Come on. Hug me! I know you missed me, even if you won’t say it.”
Mitsuki rolled her eyes gracefully, but obliged and joined in the group hug.
Kagome pulled away suddenly, looking around suspiciously.
“Eh? What’s wrong?” Rin asked.
“I felt a sudden chill, and I couldn’t help wondering if Miroku was watching us.”
“The monk is dead,” Mitsuki said.
Kagome scoffed. “I know that,” she said, still looking around warily. “But, here we are, three naked women hugging in a hot springs. Can you say heaven for Miroku?”
Rin burst into giggles.
“You have a good point,” Mitsuki conceded. “But we needn’t worry. You’re a miko. I’m sure you can purify his spirit if it comes down to it.”
“Yep!” Rin chirped. “But for now, let him have his fun.”
Kagome snorted and sunk deeper into the hot springs. “He can have his fun with you two. I, for one, have a problem with peeping toms,” she said snottily, sniffing a bit and sticking her nose in the air with her eyes closed.
She cracked one eye open, before losing her composure.
She started laughing, and Rin joined her. Mitsuki let a few chuckles, but abruptly stopped when Kagome disappeared under the water.
Rin blinked as she looked at the place where the miko had vanished.
Kagome broke the surface of the water, spluttering and coughing violently.
“Are you okay?” Rin asked worriedly.
Kagome nodded. “I’m fine. I just slipped or something.”
Mitsuki raised an eyebrow. “As clumsy as ever.”
Kagome slumped and pouted. “I’m not clumsy. I’m gravitationally attractive.”
Rin covered her mouth to smother her snickers. Mitsuki only raised an eyebrow.
Kagome rolled her eyes, before sighing. “It’s good to be back with family. Not that the shrine and everyone else aren’t family, but…”
“Things weren’t right with you gone,” Rin said softly.
“Indeed. But, we mustn’t get distracted again. I’ve already let you’re silliness deter me.”
Kagome and Rin looked over at Mitsuki questioningly.
“I think you should explain yourself, dear one. I’m rather curious to know why you were pretending to be involved with that human boy.”
Kagome flushed before shaking her head ruefully. “What gave me away?”
“Your performance was excellent, but next time you might want to choose a better partner; one possessing knowledge regarding youkai culture.”
Kagome winced as Rin nodded. “Yeah. I noticed that too. You seemed like a one-sided courting couple.”
Kagome huffed angrily. “Well, this is bad. Sesshomaru’s bound to have noticed.”
Rin smiled secretively. “I don’t think so.”
Kagome looked at her hopefully. “You don’t?”
“No,” Mitsuki said, explaining for Rin. “My son was much too focused on thinking of ways to kill your human.”
“Ha!” Kagome exclaimed, neither understanding the implications of Mitsuki’s statement, nor feeling fazed by the possible– read probable– murder of one of her teammates. “Then it worked!”
“What worked exactly? You have yet to tell us.”
Rin nodded. “Yeah. Why were you doing that? And what does Daddy have to do with it?”
Kagome scowled. “Your father has everything to do with it!”
Mitsuki raised her eyebrow. “I was under the impression that you parted on good terms with my son.”
Kagome grimaced. “Everybody is. But we had a fight while he was taking me to the well to make my wish. He said some things he had better not have meant, and I said some things that I absolutely, positively meant, and then I wished on the jewel and I was back here and that was that.”
“But that doesn’t explain why you’re pretending to be going through the courting process,” Rin pointed out.
“I’m doing it because of something your father said,” Kagome gritted out.
“What did he say?”
“Something along the lines of me not being worth any male’s time and so on and so forth and how he was only paying me attention because of my power and something else. You know, basic stuff.”
Rin gaped, and Mitsuki blinked.
“I think I’m mad at him,” Rin said.
“Don’t be!” Kagome exclaimed, pasting on an obviously fake smile. “I’m not mad at him, so you shouldn’t be!”
Rin leaned over to Mitsuki. “That was a lie,” she whispered none too quietly.
“Indeed.”
Kagome eye twitched, before she let out a breath. “Let’s not talk about this, okay? I want to talk about whether or not Shippo will be Momma’s grandson-in-law, or if Rin will be her granddaughter-in-law.”
It took a few moments for Kagome’s words to sink in, but when they did, Rin turned beet red and wildly flailed her arms as she tripped and the water consumed her.
“I suppose she’s gravitationally attractive now too,” Mitsuki commented, sharing a look with Kagome.
…
The hallways of the Western Citadel were dark, lit only by the lanterns that were spaced evenly on the walls. The mood the lights created was rather eerie, and Kagome couldn’t help but shiver. Though that might have been because she wasn’t wearing any shoes, and the floors were ice cold.
Kagome came to a four-way intersection and stood in the middle, looking down the three hallways she had not just come down. She frowned lightly.
No matter that this building was an exact replica of the old citadel, and she remembered the layout perfectly, she could never recall where to go at night. There was something about the dark that sapped her navigational skills from her– not that she had much skill to begin with.
Kagome sighed as she looked down the three hallways. She could feel her kit’s aura perfectly fine, but all the overlapping and multiple floors and labyrinth like corridors made it hard to decipher which way she should go.
Kagome looked down the three hallways she could choose from and bit her lip, contemplating where to go.
She decided on the hallway directly in front of her and nodded resolutely. She took a few strides forward, but bumped into something solid.
“Ow!” she cried, unsure whether or not to rub her bottom or her nose.
She looked up only to see Sesshomaru’s face. She paled completely.
Kagome inwardly cursed herself for focusing only on locating Shippo instead of focusing on all of her surroundings.
“Will you continue to sit on the ground, Miko?” Sesshomaru’s cold voice asked.
Kagome scowled as she stood, and then proceeded to right her thin sleeping yukata, wishing she were wearing more. Not that he would be interested in seeing her body or anything, but it would make her feel more comfortable.
Sesshomaru stared at her as she fidgeted. He was unsure what to say, which wasn’t actually a first. The miko always seemed to render him incapable of coherent, logical, reasonable speech, and it seemed that 500 years of separation had done nothing to take away her one of a kind ability.
And then, his eyes narrowed as he realized the situation.
“You were planning to visit the male courting you.”
Sesshomaru inwardly realized that the first words of his first private conversation with Kagome after five centuries shouldn’t have been an accusation, but he couldn’t help himself. There was really no other reason for her to be wandering the hall of the citadel at night wearing nothing but her sleeping garments. And, he would admit, if only to himself, that he was undeniably jealous, and therefore angry at the idea that she was planning to visit the male who was courting her.
Sesshomaru watched as she registered what her said. He could easily take in, with his superior senses, the way her face went red, and her stance shifted, and her fists clenched, and her heart rate sped up. She was angry. Not unbelievable, considering whom she was and what he had said.
“You- you! It’s none of your business what I’m doing!”
“If this Sesshomaru wishes it to be his business, then it is.”
“Don’t you dare use third person with me, Sesshomaru! Ugh! You! Ugh! For your information, I am not going to visit Kazuma! I’m going to visit my kit, who I haven’t seen for quite some time. I miss him and I want to catch up with him. If you have a problem, then I suggest you shove it and then suck it up!”
Sesshomaru blinked, feeling considerably less tense, despite the fact that Kagome had just yelled at him.
As long as she wasn’t going to see her human, he wasn’t concerned.
“And where were you going?” Kagome asked, putting her hands on her hips. “Are you keeping a harem?”
Sesshomaru ignored her insult. “This Sesshomaru does not have to answer to you.”
Kagome stomped her foot. “There you go again, Sesshomaru! Honestly! How old are you? Even Rin managed to drop third person.”
Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed as he listened to her yell. He didn’t want to kill her, but he couldn’t remember why.
Because she worked for Reikai?
No, that didn’t matter.
Oh, yes. It was because he was emotionally attached to– read in love with– her.
But why? He couldn’t recall why he was attached to her.
Before Sesshomaru’s conscience could tell him why he was “emotionally attached” to the miko in front of him, he was brought out of his thoughts by a frustrated shriek.
“You know what? It doesn’t matter. If you could kindly point me in the direction my kit is in, I would be most obliged.”
Sesshomaru blinked. “The left hallway.”
“Thank you,” Kagome said stiffly, stomping away from him and down the hallway.
Sesshomaru shook his head shortly, before continuing on his way. He stopped abruptly.
He was wandering his hallways with a purpose, and that purpose had just left to visit with her son.
Sesshomaru frowned.
He had just had the perfect opportunity to apologize for his behavior from 500 years ago, but he had completely forgotten what he had been planning to do when she had bumped into him.
His scowl became more pronounced.
The miko was entirely too troublesome and much too distracting for his tastes.
She needed to work on that.
Sesshomaru nodded.
He would tell her to fix her behavior tomorrow after he apologized.
Sesshomaru expertly ignored the voice in the back of his head that was telling him what a stupid idea that was.
…
Breakfast the next morning was tense, and not even Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Shippo bothered to break the silence.
The atmosphere was making everyone apprehensive, and it didn’t get any better when Kagome spoke.
“I think we should wrap up here and get to the treaty negotiating,” she said brightly, patting Kuwabara’s hand affectionately.
Sesshomaru glared. “Your impatience is as annoying as ever, Miko.”
Kagome’s eye twitched. “I’m not impatient; I just think we’ve wasted enough time.”
“This Sesshomaru does not waste time.”
Kagome smiled tightly. “But, we’re wasting time right now. And you’re sitting there, joining us; wasting time.”
“Your evaluation of the current situation is inaccurate.”
Kagome slammed her hands on the table, causing Shippo and Rin to scoot further away from her than they already had.
“You know what? I’m tired of you insulting me you- you! You bisexual bufophile! There! I said it. I mean, what else could you have possibly kept Jaken around for?”
Her teammates stared at her, confused at the basis for the insult, but disturbed by it nonetheless.
Shippo and Rin were horrorstruck.
Sesshomaru looked like a statue.
Mitsuki seemed torn between repulsion and amusement at Kagome’s creativity and her, admittedly, not entirely unreasonable allegation. She settled for freezing in place.
Rin recovered first. “Daddy?” she whimpered. “It’s not true, is it?”
Shippo came to soon after, addressing his own adopted parent. “But I thought you said he was completely heterosexual.”
Kagome shrugged. “In light of recent evidence, I’ve changed my mind. But you really don’t have anything to worry about though, Shippo. He’s totally asexual now that he’s lost his life partner. Because wolves mate for life, and Sesshomaru has always secretly, in his heart of hearts, wanted to be a wolf.”
Sesshomaru glared at Kagome. “Miko,” he snarled.
Kagome scoffed. “Well now you’re just overreacting to the truth. But, you always have had a flair for the dramatic. You should have become an onnagata.”
Sesshomaru stood. “Leave,” he commanded.
Shippo, Rin, and Mitsuki left immediately, followed soon after by Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke.
Kuwabara lingered, unsure if he was to give up his role as Kagome’s boyfriend, and thus her protector.
When Sesshomaru growled, Kagome patted Kuwabara’s hand again, without breaking eye contact with Sesshomaru.
“Go, Kazuma.”
Kuwabara gulped, before leaving, not waiting to be told twice.
Once Kagome and Sesshomaru were alone, Kagome crossed her arms and waited.
“You insulted this Sesshomaru-“
“Cut the third person, Sesshomaru, and stop acting like a pup.”
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. “You and your team will leave this Sesshomaru’s citadel and the Western Lands immediately.”
Kagome instantly lost her aggressive stance. “No! Please, don’t. I’m sorry. Just don’t kick us out. Koenma really thinks this could be good for Makai and Reikai if Rekai forms an alliance with you.”
Sesshomaru continued to glare at her.
Kagome stomped her foot, balling her fists. “Come on, Sesshomaru! I thought you were better than this! You shouldn’t let personal matters interfere with the negotiating of the treaty. I promise I’ll be quiet for the rest of our stay. I won’t say anything and I’ll let you negotiate the treaty with one of the others. Just, please?”
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow as Kagome’s fists loosened and she looked at him with pleading eyes.
“It was a personal matter to begin with.”
“What?” Kagome said, blinking repeatedly.
“You believed that this Sesshomaru would consider a treaty with Reikai for another reason aside from pleasing you?”
Sesshomaru nearly smirked as a blush dusted Kagome’s cheeks, but he was much to angry to do anything but silently appreciate the fact that he had been the one to put it there.
Kagome rapidly shook her head. “No! No. No?”
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow, eliciting a larger blush from the miko.
“Well, if you did do it for me,” she began hesitantly, shooting him a half-hearted glare, “then you’re calling it off because I insulted you? Oh, man! Sesshomaru! I’m sorry, honestly. I didn’t realize you’d become so thin-skinned over the years!”
A muscle in Sesshomaru’s jaw twitched at her words.
He wasn’t calling it off because of her insults, though they had been mildly offensive; that was just a pretense. An excuse.
The real reason he was denying the negotiating of a treaty was because he couldn’t stand watching her interact with the male courting her anymore.
It was disgusting.
She obviously cared for him, and the male must have been in love with her to even think about staying after he had ordered everyone out.
Earlier, he had planned on apologizing, because he thought that he might have been able to gain her favor, since it seemed as if the human wasn’t as attentive of her as she seemed to be of him. But now that he realized he had no chance with her…
He would admit it was rather juvenile of him, but the miko often brought out the worst in him.
“Sesshomaru?”
Sesshomaru blinked as he looked at Kagome, who seemed to have lost all of her will to fight and insult him.
He ignored her, determined no matter what to deny her. He wanted nothing more to do with her or Reikai.
Kagome’s eyes went wide and she clasped her hands together. “Please, Sesshomaru! Let us discuss the terms for the treaty with you. I’ll do anything!”
That caught his attention.
The miko was almost annoyingly honorable and dutiful. The small voice in his head deemed it fit to remind him that it was one of the reasons he was attached to– read in love with– her.
This could work in his favor.
“Hnn.”
Kagome’s eyes brightened. She knew that “Hnn.” She remembered it very well. It meant he was considering her offer. He had all but agreed to it!
“Anything at all?”
Kagome nodded vigorously. She would do anything to help Reikai and Makai. She cared about both worlds more than she care about Ningenkai, which was a little sad, but undeniable.
“Just name it!”
Sesshomaru walked up to her and stood less than a meter away. Kagome looked up at him, too absorbed in wringing her hands in anticipation to notice the familiar look in Sesshomaru’s eyes.
“This one requires three things, Miko.”
“Of course. What?”
Sesshomaru inwardly started. He knew what he wanted, but he wasn’t sure how to go about telling her what he wanted.
His first demand would, of course, be that she forgive him.
But he wasn’t the type to ask for forgiveness.
He wasn’t even the type to demand forgiveness, because that would mean he had done something that needed to be forgiven. And while he found it easy to admit to himself that he had done something wrong, he found it impossible to admit it to someone else; especially the miko.
“Sesshomaru?” Kagome said, waiting for him to speak.
“Hn. This Sesshomaru…”
“Yes?”
“This one spoke to you before you left.”
Kagome’s eyes widened, before they narrowed. Her eager attitude became wary when she registered the fact that one of his requests had to do with the insults he had directed at her three (or 500) years ago. She didn’t know what he could possibly demand from her that had to do with the words exchanged on the way to the well, but she knew it couldn’t be good.
“Yes,” Kagome said slowly.
“This Sesshomaru said things.”
“I’m sorry,” Kagome said. “But, Sesshomaru, I need you to hurry up and get to what you want from me. We both know what happened, so you don’t actually have to tell me.”
“Be silent, woman,” Sesshomaru said, glaring at her.
Kagome let out a strangled sound. “Woman? Woman! Sesshomaru, I–“
“Do not speak.”
“You can’t tell me what to do unless that’s one of your requests. If it is, I will gladly not speak to you for the remainder of my life!” Kagome said hotly.
“You will forgive this one for insulting you before you left,” Sesshomaru said, determined to get out at least one of his demands before the two of them started fighting.
“And another thing- Wait. What?” Kagome said, all of her ire gone, replaced by confusion and disbelief.
“This Sesshomaru will not repeat himself,” he growled, looking pointedly above her head.
Kagome gaped at him, before gulping. “You- seriously? I mean, really?”
“This Sesshomaru did not mean what he said that day.”
“You better not have,” Kagome said, trying to sound harsh, but only managing to glare weakly, before a small smile worked its way onto her face.
Soon enough, she was full on grinning as she looked up at the uncomfortable daiyoukai in front of her. She recognized the situation for what it was: Sesshomaru was apologizing to her.
“So, you didn’t mean any of the things you said?” Kagome asked.
Sesshomaru finally looked at her. “No. This one believed the opposite of everything he spoke.”
Kagome’s eyes widened and a blush appeared on her face. She ducked her head and bit her lip to stop a girlish giggle from escaping.
“Do you acquiesce to this Sesshomaru’s demand, Miko?”
Kagome nodded. “I forgive you, Sesshomaru.”
“Hnn.”
They stood for a while, completely silent, before Kagome cleared her throat. “Um… you had two other conditions for the treaty?”
Sesshomaru nodded, feeling emboldened, and much more like his usual self. Now that he had been forgiven, he could get to his more pressing demands.
Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed as he spoke. “You must end your involvement with that human,” he said impassively, showing his distaste only through his eyes.
Kagome blinked up at him. “Huh?”
Sesshomaru glared at her. “You must terminate your courtship with the human, Miko.”
Kagome stared at him, not understanding what he was demanding, until she remembered that he didn’t know that she and Kuwabara had just been pretending.
Kagome coughed, trying to cover her laughter, before she gave in and clutched her stomach, peals of laughter erupting from her throat.
“What amuses you so?” Sesshomaru growled.
“You!” Kagome gasped.
“This one fails to see how he has managed to amuse you, Miko,” Sesshomaru growled, feeling quite put out at her reaction.
“What’s so funny is the fact that you-“
Kagome stopped short, assessing the situation. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to tell Sesshomaru that she had just been pretending that she and Kuwabara were courting in order to prove him wrong. She had a feeling that it wouldn’t blow over too well and that he would get another demand out of it too.
Kagome coughed, and let her laughter fade. “Nothing’s funny. It’s just, that you’re demanding I end my courtship.”
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes.
“I’ll do it, of course,” Kagome said to assure him. “It’s just that I can’t see why you would want me to.”
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow. “You cannot?” he asked haughtily.
Kagome frowned, feeling as though she was missing something. “No. I can’t.”
“This Sesshomaru had a higher opinion of your mental capacity than you deserved.”
Kagome’s eye twitched. “Hey! Just because you can’t be straightforward doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”
“No. But your inability to understand this one’s implied meaning does mean that you are mentally lacking.”
“Well what’s your implied meaning?” Kagome said, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at him menacingly.
“This Sesshomaru’s third demand.”
Kagome growled, wishing he would just come out and say it. “What is your third demand, Sesshomaru?”
“You must allow this Sesshomaru to court you.”
“Fine!” she snapped, before she registered what he had said.
Before anything else could happen, the doors burst open and in jumped Shippo.
“Wooh! Yes! Yes!” he cried. “Ha! I knew it! This is the best! Wooh!”
Rin clapped. “Now our family will be whole again!”
Kagome looked at them with wide eyes. “Were you all eavesdropping?” she asked, shooting a look at her team.
Kurama coughed. “Well-“
“Yes,” Mitsuki said plainly.
Shippo and Rin jumped up and down with each other, and as Kagome watched them, she wasn’t sure if she should feel amused or violated.
“Miko,” Sesshomaru said, drawing her attention to him.
She followed his gaze, only to realize that he was glaring at Kuwabara.
“Oh, right. Umm, Kazuma?”
The orange-haired human turned to her.
“I’m ending our courtship,” she said.
“Huh?” he asked.
“You don’t have to fight for me anymore,” she said, her voice laced with exasperation.
Things were moving too fast.
Kuwabara blinked. “Oh. Does that mean we won?”
Kagome looked at Sesshomaru out of the corner of her eye, only to find him glaring at Shippo. Her shoulders slumped.
“It depends on your point of view,” she remarked dryly. “Jakotsu and Jaken are probably rolling in their graves by now.”
Shippo and Rin stopped celebrating abruptly.
“Mom!” Shippo cried, aghast.
“Not Master Jaken,” Rin moaned.
“Miko…” Sesshomaru growled.
“I knew there was a reason I missed you, darling,” Mitsuki said.
“Thanks, Momma,” Kagome intoned sarcastically, hanging her head and massaging her temples.
“You guys are insane,” Yusuke said matter-of-factly.
“Hn,” Hiei muttered, agreeing with him.
Kagome let out a long sigh.
…
And that’s all.
Mimuru, I hope you laughed at least twice, and that your eye twitched while you read the last 4 ½ pages.
If that didn’t happen, feel free to curse me and send a rabid Sesshomaru to kill me– though I might actually enjoy that.
T.N.T!