-If Only-
NOTE: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters, only my own mind.
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If I had the power to change something, anything at all I would go back and change that one night, that night my whole world was destroyed; the night he died.
He had become the reason I lived, he became my entire existence. I don’t remember exactly when it happened or how it happened, but if I were to take a gander I would say it all started that night he saved my life, instead of trying to take it.
I was lost, just roaming in the woods trying to find my way back to our little group. I had become lost trying to follow him into the woods again, Inuyasha that is. It was the middle of the night and I woke up just to see him running off to meet her again. I wonder if he knew back then that I could always feel when she was nearby; that my soul constantly cried out to me, begging to be reclaimed. My soul did not like being trapped in her unnatural body; it hated being tainted by her. I assume he didn’t know, or perhaps he did and he just didn’t care about the pain that I had to deal with daily from missing a part of my soul.
It doesn’t really matter anyways, besides he was the one that lead me to him. Besides in the end the final results would have been the same.
He found me out there, in some god-forsaken part of the forest, my life blood pouring out of my body at an alarming rate. I had been attacked by a demon, a powerful one, he wanted the shards. I killed him. His body was reduced to ash, the wind blew it away. He told me later on in our time together that he had smelled my blood and had come to see what had happened.
He saved my life that night, Sesshoumaru the ‘killing perfection’. Even he wasn’t sure why he did, but he did, and in doing so he sealed my fate. He healed my wounds with his poison, and then he cut his wrist and gave me some of his own blood to replenish my own. Neither of us expected what would happen next, his blood, my body should have rejected it, but it did something different. My body changed, gone were the frail bones and flesh of my mortal body. His blood made me like him, no longer was I a human I was now a inu-youki, one that had the powers of the shikon miko.
He decided to stay with me, to teach me the ways of his kind, the ways of the kind I was now a part of. I was lead back to my friends by the morning; Inuyasha got back just as we did.
Shippo was happy, now he wouldn’t lose me to my short human life span. Sango and Miroku were both fine with it, they were fascinated by the turn of events, and Inuyasha was furious. He yelled and screamed, and when the word ‘bitch’ came from him I lost it. I screamed and I yelled, I was done with him, any feeling I had left for him had died in that moment, and no longer would I sit and take his abuse.
I set my gaze on Sesshoumaru, he nodded his head and I then turned to my friends and told them I was going to travel with Sesshoumaru and they could come or stay. They all came, all but Inuyasha who had run off some time after I told him he was dead to me.
Months of travel and training passed in the blink of an eye, and somewhere along the way, we fell in love. His icy exterior had melted and I found myself unable to resist the wonderfully caring man underneath. We made plans, we wanted to spend our long lives together, and so we went to his palace and we married. We spent our nights at the palace caught in each other’s embrace.
Two weeks later, we were having dinner when we heard a scream, we rushed out to see what had happened and standing there was Naraku, Kikyo, and Inuyasha. Inuyasha’s eyes were blank, like Kohaku’s had once been. Around them were more demons, and the palace soldiers, the dead were all around.
The battle was not easy; it had taken all my focus to defeat Kikyo. Then I felt it, a sharp pain in my heart, and I knew instantly what was wrong, quickly I got rid of Kikyo and rushed over to Sesshoumaru’s side; I was just in time to see Inuyasha give the killing blow to my husband.
After that my vision went red and everything became a blur, when I came to Inuyasha was dead at my feet, his windpipe torn out, his blood running down my body. And in my hands was Naraku, half purified. I finished him off by reaching in his chest and ripping out his heart before purifying it into a pile of dust.
I picked up the rest of the Shikon no Tama and I wished for it to disappear forever before walking by Inuyasha’s body and grabbing his father’s fang. I made my way to my love and fell to my knees.
I cannot tell you how long I sat there by his body; every one gave me space as they collected the bodies to be dealt with accordingly. Eventually one of the palace servants came out and lead me into the palace, she handed me his swords before directing another servant to prepare their deceased Lord’s body for his journey to the other worlds.
If only I had the power to change something, anything at all, I would go back to that night and I would stay by his side and never let him out of my sight. I would go back and save myself from the pain of having to live another century without my one love.
I would save our son from living another day of never knowing his great father.
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