*** Nobody believes me when I tell them that you're out of your mind
*** Nobody believes me when I tell them that there's so much to hide
Kagome woke up with a gasp; sweat clung to her skin matting her long dark locks against her head. Sitting up in bed she placed a hand over her heart and willed it to slow down, all the while convincing herself that it was all just a dream. When her control over her breathing and heartbeat were finally under control she turned her head only to have her heart clench in pain. That side of the bed was empty, somehow this time she'd hoped it would be different. That she'd wake up and for once he'd be there waiting to take her into his arms like he used to and tell her it was alright.
Allowing a small amount of hope to rise in her that she knew she shouldn't for she'd only be left with the pain that it always brought, Kagome tore the sheets off her body and slipped out of bed. She shivered as her feet hit the cold floor but shook it off and slipped into her robe. Hugging herself she began to make her way to the kitchen, the small, hopeful but usually wrong voice in her head said that maybe he was getting a midnight snack. Kagome held onto that as tightly as she could. Wishing with her heart that it'd be true.
At least she held onto it until she heard a car start up. Heart racing she ran to the front of the house, not caring how cold the floor was or that her robe had ripped open. Quickly flicking on the lights she threw open the front doors to their lavish estate just as a black BMW drove by. Pain gripped her heart again as she caught A glimpse of silver hair through the slightly tinted windows.
Kagome stood in the doorway, the chilly pre-morning wind feeling cool against her wet skin. She felt the usual emotions she always felt when she woke up to realize that he was gone. But this time they were much stronger. Yes, because she'd caught him.
Sadness hit first, followed by guilt that maybe she was the one driving him away, but that was quickly replaced by anger. She was mad oh yes, mad that he was doing something like this to her. She wondered if the last few years of their relationship had really meant anything to him that he was so willing to just throw it all away.
The worst part of it all though she was completely in it alone. When it all started happening she thought she could tell mama but when Kagome saw how happy her mama was thinking that Kagome had finally found a man to truly love her she couldn't bring herself to break that. So she'd simply just held it in. There were no girlfriends she could talk to. Most of the people she knew were associated with him and to them he was everything short of a god.
Kagome spit at the thought, no god would ever commit such a crime as to continuously break the heart of the one they had claimed to love.
[quote]"Damn you Sesshoumaru!!"[/quote] she screamed out into the pre-morning air. A couple birds fled from their resting places at the sound of the enraged female and Kagome hoped with every bone in her small frame that he to felt that anger.
--
Sesshoumaru flipped open his cell as he tore threw the drive way towards the open front gates.
"Hello?" A female voice picked up.
"I'm coming." He stated in his usual monotone voice.
"I'll be waiting." The voice purred.
Sesshoumaru hung up and sped even faster down the road.
--
Kagome was livid; she threw herself onto their bed tangling herself in the sheets.
'Why' Kagome thought over and over in her head, why her? Why not some other unfortunate girl out there who actually deserved it?
Slowly she raised her head from her pillow and stared at the wall. No, she wouldn't give him this, she'd be damned if she would let him get to her like this. Once again throwing the sheets off, she stood up from their bed. 'Their' bed, they one they were supposed to share together.
Kagome snorted at that, peeling off her clothes and flinging them aside. It wasn't like anyone would be in the room long enough to notice. At that thought Kagome felt her heart clench again and she gasped. Pausing a bit she took in slow breaths to ease the pain away.
When it was gone, anger flooded through her once again but this time at herself. She shouldn't let him have such control over her emotions this way. But it was hard after being in love with someone fore more than a year. Stepping into the shower she turned on the water full blast, letting it pound her body and trail over her skin.
--
Sesshoumaru rolled over and picked up his ringing cell.
"Speak." He answered.
"Sesshoumaru?" A female voice responded. "Why do you sound so out of breath?"
"Nothing Onee-san" He sat up more in bed wondering why Kagome's mother was calling him.
"Are you and Kagome still coming to the barbecue tomorrow?" She asked... "I tried calling the house and her cell but no one picked up. You wouldn't happen to know where she is would you."
Sesshoumaru looked to the head of black locks peeking out from under the white sheets.
"Hai, we'll be there." He hung up before the woman could get anything else out.
The head of hair moved and red eyes slowly opened to stare at him.
"Who was that Sesshy-kins?"
Sesshoumaru winced internally at the horrible nick-name, his face betraying nothing.
"No one you need to concern yourself with."
He lay back down pulling her naked body flush against his own and burying his face in her hair only to immediately pull back with a hiss of distaste.
"Why must you insist on spraying your mane with such foul smelling substances?" He growled at her.
Red lips pouted at him. "You don't like? It's peaches..."
Sesshoumaru hated peaches.
"No." He answered her.
Letting her go he moved away from her embrace and stood from the bed, the sheets falling off his body. Red eyes gleamed and trailed over his flawless form. Sesshoumaru inwardly resisted the urge to roll his eyes; the woman had seen his naked form countless times before, she should be used to it by now.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Is it not obvious?" he asked harshly though it was by no means meant as a question.
Slipping on his boxers and pants he began looking around the floor for his shirt.
"But we've barely begun." She whined slipping from the sheets and coming to hug him from the back, nibbling on his lobe. Kagome's face flashed through his mind as he thought of how she could never reach his ears like that standing up. Quickly he banished that thought.
"I am finished with you for today now move." He growled annoyed at her clinging. Spotting his shirt over by the lamp he went to retrieve it.
Pouting, "Sesshy-kins!" She whined.
Sesshoumaru shot her a viscous glare over his shoulder, her voice was beginning to grate on his nerves and he had no time for her at this point. The sun had been out for far too long and he needed to head off to work.
"Fine!" She shouted at him picking the sheets up and wrapping them around her body. "Run off to the whore! I don't see why you haven't left her already; she's got nothing that could possibly be holding you back."
Ignoring her ranting he slapped his watch on, the diamonds and crystals gleaming in the light pouring through the window. Running a hand through his hair to remove the unruly tangles Sesshoumaru made his way out the room and to the front door of the lavishly decorated apartment. The swish of fabric on the floor let him know that she was following behind him.
Her hand shot out and grabbed his arm as he opened the door.
An arched eyebrow was all that told her he was waiting for her to speak.
"When will you be back?" She asked her voice silky and fingers beginning to trail over his chest.
He grabbed her hand in a fierce grip.
"When I so feel." With that he spun out the door leaving a fuming and yet oddly aroused female behind.
--
Kagome checked herself in the mirror and approved of what she saw. After lounging around the house eating bar after bar of chocolate she'd finally decided to get out and do something. She'd show him just how strong she was, she wasn't going to be someone who'd wait home all day long till "His Majesty" decided to grace her with his presence.
So after many attempts and failures she'd finally gotten herself off the couch and to her closet. That was one thing she loved the most in this house. Besides the man of course. When Sesshoumaru had first asked her to move in with him he'd given her, her own personal closet and she'd taken no time filling it to the brim
Kagome stood in a black and white hooded dress and black stiletto heels. Having scrunched her hair up she let it go in waves. She smiled to herself 'I'll show him what he's missing out on' She told herself.
Thoroughly pleased with her appearance she grabbed her small silver studded purse and headed towards the garage. The memory of this morning began to flood back to her as Kagome stared at the empty space where his car was. She quickly squashed it. No, it wouldn't go on like this. Head held high she walked to her silver infinity and smoothly slid in before backing out and racing down the driveway.
--
Sesshoumaru glanced up at his office door to the woman standing there.
"Mind if I come in?" She asked.
Sesshoumaru gave her no answer but leaned back in his chair and arched a brow. Something he seemed to be doing a lot more recently. His eyes stayed focused on her long legs until she moved to stand behind his chair. His eyes closed as her hands began their ministrations on his shoulder and her lips moved to nibble on his neck.
"So strong." She purred.
"Mind if I interrupt?" A voice asked from the doorway.
Sesshoumaru automatically grabbed the woman's hands to stop their movements as his eyes flew to the door. Kagome stood there hand on her hip and the other holding a white paper bag, her face remained void of expression and Sesshoumaru found it very eerie how it seemed to resemble the look he always wore.
"Leave." He commanded giving her hand a good squeeze for warning.
She gasped but did as told shooting Kagome a coy smile as she passed her out the door.
Kagome turned her head slightly until she heard the door close. Though it didn't appear it, on the inside she was absolutely fuming. 'how could he!'
"Who was she?" Kagome asked making her way towards the seat in front of his desk. All the while she let her eyes wander around the spacious room. It was definitely different from the office she once knew. Everything was polished in either glass or dark marble.
"Explain why you're here." He commanded, avoiding her question.
"I came to bring you some lunch." She stated throwing the white bag on his desk and moving to give him a kiss. He flinched away from her touch and Kagome's heart clenched once more but she brushed it off choosing instead to sit on the desk, her legs crossed.
"I missed you this morning." She tried seeing as his attention was now focused on his computer screen and not her.
He raised his brow at her, a look of complete boredom oh his face and Kagome wanted nothing more then to slap it off but that would do no good.
"Where were you?"
"Does it truly matter?" He countered back.
"Of course it does Sesshoumaru!" When his eyes flitted to the door she lowered her voice. "I wake up worried to find you missing from bed, bounced off to somewhere; I should at least be granted the location."
"This Sesshoumaru does not bounce." He growled.
"That's not the point and you know it." She whispered harshly. "Sesshoumaru where were you?"
"Woman do you doubt my honor?" He hissed. Kagome almost reeled at the look he gave her. Somehow his eyes managed to become colder than usual and she felt the pain in her heart double.
"Woman? Since when did I stop being "Kagome" and started becoming simply "woman?"
She sighed when he gave no answer, turning around she headed towards the door. It was becoming too painful. Before she closed the door she turned back to stare at him; "I love you Sesshoumaru." She said.
He didn't answer and to Kagome that hurt the most.