A/N: For a friend and for the holiday season. :) Because InuYasha's gag gift was so much fun to write, I had to do it again.
Side note: almost ALL of these are real gifts, in case you needed to know that. You're welcome.
Sesshomaru came into the house, holding a small package as if he didn't quite know what to do with it. Had one of their grown children set them a gift?
Usually, Sesshomaru was pleased whenever they sent anything, so it had to be something else.
"What is it?" Kagome asked, concerned at his annoyed expression.
"A gift," he answered shortly, "from InuYasha."
"Oh, that's sweet," she said and then stopped short at the irritated look he gave her. "No? Well, what did he and Nyoko send you?"
"His mate wasn't involved." Sesshomaru sounded curt.
Oh dear. If InuYasha picked it out himself, there's no telling what sort of trouble he got into. She sighed heavily. "So what did he send?"
He set the box down on the kitchen island.
"Dog butt magnets?" Kagome read the packaging aloud and tried not to laugh when she saw one of the butts looked suspiciously like it belonged to a big, white dog.
Sesshomaru's lips thinned. "It is going in the trash," he announced, unamused. He was rather proud of his inuyokai lineage and didn't enjoy having it mocked.
"Oh, no it's not!" Kagome grabbed the box of twenty magnets before he could take it away. "I think they're cute."
An annoyed grunt was her only response as Sesshomaru left the room and headed to their living room to find a book and unwind for the evening.
Kagome, meanwhile, took some time to rearrange the family photos on the fridge, ensuring each one now had a dog butt magnet stuck to it.
.
.
"So, what did you get in the mail today?" Kagome asked her husband the next day, curious at the package that had arrived by mail.
Sesshomaru's lips thinned as he immediately put the item in the trash. "Nothing of consequence."
He then stalked out of the room and Kagome couldn't resist the temptation to look in the trash.
There, sitting in a bunch of shredded newspaper that had served as the wrapping, was a black mug that said, "Proud to have a little weiner," and had a picture of a white weiner dog on it.
She choked on her laughter as she saw the return label, 'From Ito InuYasha.'
He really needs to stop with these gifts, she thought to herself, rescuing the mug from the trash to use herself, or Sesshomaru is going to get him something much worse for the holiday this year.
She hung the mug on her mug rack that sat next to their fridge, decorated with the dog butt magnets.
.
.
The next day, there was another package, and this one Sesshomaru had to be persuaded to open.
It was a desk flip calendar for the next year, each a picture of a dog pooping.
Kagome tried and failed not to laugh. "It seems like he's a bit obsessed with butts," she joked, but her mate didn't laugh.
Instead, he melted the calendar with his poison before Kagome could try and save it from his clutches.
But after he left the room, she doubled over in laughter before turning to call InuYasha's wife before he continued with his madness. Sesshomaru loved a good prank—but he was a lot less tolerant when he was on the receiving end.
.
.
It seemed even Nyoko couldn't reign in InuYasha's penchant for chaos because the next day, there was yet another gift from InuYasha.
This one was a large blue tee shirt that read, 'If I can't bring my dog, I'm not going.'
Sesshomaru actually growled at the gift, but Kagome managed to rescue it from his clutches. She was absolutely going to wear the shirt to the next family gathering—whether Sesshomaru liked it or not.
"I think it's cute," Kagome told Sesshomaru, careful to keep the shirt tucked behind her lest he try and destroy it.
"It should be burned," he said, his eyes flashing red.
"Relax," she assured him, "I'll call Nyoko again and have her talk with InuYasha. This will absolutely be the last gift, I'm sure of it."
.
.
It wasn't.
If Nyoko's warnings had been registered, they'd clearly been applied in the wrong direction. Instead of ceasing the gifts altogether, InuYasha sent Sesshomaru a series of musical CDs that were supposed to be soothing for dogs.
Kagome had managed to rescue most of the CDs from Sesshomaru, but they had the opposite effect when played. Instead of a calming affect, Sesshomaru ended up stalking out of the house, promising to 'see the end to this madness' himself.
Kagome debated calling Nyoko to give her a heads up and then shrugged.
As amusing as the gifts were, InuYasha had brought this on himself.
.
.
And yet, though Sesshomaru had returned looking as though he and InuYasha had sparred, the next day, there was yet another gift.
It was a book of poetry, allegedly written by a dog from a dog's perspective to his human owner.
Kagome had wheezed when she'd taken the book and read through the first few poems, but Sesshomaru was less amused when she read them aloud. He simply walked out of the kitchen, grumbling that InuYasha must have a death wish.
Kagome decided to call her own children and fill them in on the gifts. As she suspected, they were all equally amused by 'Uncle InuYasha's' antics and there was now a family betting pool about what he'd send next.
She wisely decided not to inform Sesshomaru of that.
.
.
Over the next few days, InuYasha sent a dog butt mousepad, another shirt that read 'butt sniffer,' another mug that looked like a dog drinking out of a toilet, a novelty game where you were supposed to pick up poop from a pooping dog before he filled up the yard, and a 'beware of dog' fence sign that looked quite similar to Sesshomaru's yokai form.
Evidently, InuYasha intended on doing a full '12 days of Christmas' because there was another gift today.
This one had been hand delivered by a courier rather than being shipped by mail, which had only piqued Kagome's curiosity, and she'd had to practically force Sesshomaru to open them.
Inside, was a 'puppy play' adult set.
"Oh my gosh." Kagome picked up the 'manual' that had come with the set. "These drawings are quite...explicit."
"I am going to kill him," Sesshomaru hissed, pacing the kitchen.
"I'm certainly beginning to suspect he has a death wish." Kagome tried unsuccessfully to hide her laughter. Her mate was exceptionally private about their intimate activities and so the gift evidently bothered him far more than it had bothered her.
It was in poor taste, to be sure, but not the end of the world.
InuYasha was just an idiot.
She waved her hand. "Just get him a gift and call it a day, Sesshomaru. He's just doing this to rile you." She muttered to herself, "You think after four hundred years he would have realized that by now."
Sesshomaru sniffed but left her without comment.
She just hoped it would be the end of the gifting spree—no matter how funny she found the gifts.
.
.
The next morning, Kagome's quiet morning while Sesshomaru was out running errands was ruined by the house phone ringing.
"Ito residence," she answered, stifling a yawn as she poured tea into her weiner dog mug.
"Kagome, did you see what Sesshomaru got InuYasha this year for Christmas?" Nyoko sounded like she was out of breath.
Kagome blinked. "No, why?"
Nyoko began wheezing as she struggled to get out, "I'm sending a picture to your phone. InuYasha's been reading him the riot act all morning, but it looks like he finally got what he deserved." She sounded endlessly amused by that.
Kagome wasn't surprised by that; her mate usually did. She took a sip of her tea and reached for her cell phone just in time to see the picture.
She immediately began choking as she struggled to keep her tea down and laugh.
"I insisted we try them on, of course. It would be rude otherwise," Nyoko said smugly. "I have to say, I like Sesshomaru's style."
There, on Kagome's phone, was a picture of Nyoko dressed as Blue Falcon and InuYasha dressed as Dynomutt, his rather simple minded cyborg dog sidekick. Nyoko looked rather pleased with her costume, while InuYasha looked thoroughly irritated by the costume.
"This is fantastic," Kagome said, chortling. "I'm going to print this out and put it on my fridge."
"I sent it to the kids, but do you want to know the best part?" Nyoko's voice dropped. "Sesshomaru changed InuYasha's name in his phone to Dynomutt in front of him!"
Kagome laughed again. "Well, maybe that'll keep him from trying something like this again. He knows how sensitive Sesshomaru is about his heritage and this was one prank fest we could have done without."
It certainly wasn't the first between the two men, but she did hope it would be the last.
"I wouldn't count on it," Nyoko said dryly, and Kagome suspected the other woman was rolling her eyes. "InuYasha is already planning out what he's going to do for April Fool's Day for revenge."
"Oh boy." Kagome rubbed her temples; she could already see Sesshomaru plotting as well. "I need a drink."
"No, we need a vacation," Nyoko laughed. "What do you think about seeing Hawaii in spring? I say we leave the men behind to sort this one out themselves."
"I've always wanted to see their waterfalls." Kagome grinned. "Sounds like a date."
They finished planning and Kagome hung up the phone. Humming, she took a moment to write on the photo Nyoko sent and then sent it out to her children and their mates in their family group chat with the caption, "Happy Holidays, everyone!"
Sesshomaru immediately liked the image and Kagome rolled her eyes and set down her phone, but not before seeing his reply, 'Wait until you see our easter digital card.'
Yeah, she was definitely going to Hawaii in spring.
Humming, she headed towards her bedroom, leaving Sesshomaru's gift on the counter for him to find when he came home. Of course, he would find his real gift, later, in their room.
InuYasha and Sesshomaru weren't the only pranksters in the family, after all.